Tue Oct 31 12:16:10 2023

At 8 o'clock PM, Day of the Sun, 20th of the Month of the Sun
on the Theran calendar Szizua perished, never to return.

Race:	saurian
Class:	shapeshifter
Level:	51
Alignment:	Evil
Ethos:	Neutral
Cabal:	None, None
Age:	40
Hours:	69

i tried to put some IC lore in it didnt add it until i saw i wouldnt delete over forms I took some effort writing it

I totally get the, "not gonna put the role in until I know the forms work out," style of play.

Except you're saying the forms worked out and you deleted after 70 hours anyway?

Why?

might not have got traction bc i put it in so late. the role was very much a prologue the next chapter required induction and after 70 it felt like i was wasting my time when i do this scion app thing since i cant alt i get new char ideas in my head the whole time eventuslly hours of crickkets got me to do the give up alt i could have used anexplore alt but im starting to get used to this one daily driver thing

Z

.

zzz

I think a summary / overview would have helped a lot. Think of a role as an overview of the character rather than a “cool story”. I hope this makes sense.

It's a bit all over the place without really saying much of the actual background of the character. How did it grow up, what are its core values, principles, outlook on life, ...

Something I see a lot in pbf Imm comments is variants of 'A neat bullet point summary of the character and its viewpoints' being mentioned. You can assume Imms like that.

Just adding a single entry like that will already get you far. I like adding story, poetry or songs, but I try to make that very clear from the title, like a little 'read at your own peril' warning I suppose.

I might add entries like this:

1: A concise background summary, plans and desires
2: The story of my youth
3: "Death, the great equalizer", a song about Weh

If an Imm wants to know what makes you tick it's clear they only need entry 1. They can choose how much time they spent reading the rest.

Stylistically, use lines to let the text breath. Entries can be quite long (around four A4 pages I think, a lot!), let the text grow vertically. The third entry does that better.

I do like the effort you put in it, keep it up! If you like that sort of thing you could watch videos on creative writing on youtube or even buy books.

You can also use the rolecontest history list to look up characters on the PBF and check their comments (and role entries).

Have fun and GLWYN.