Sun Jul 23 00:59:45 2023

At 11 o'clock AM, Day of Thunder, 3rd of the Month of the Ancient Darkness
on the Theran calendar Mystrillania perished, never to return.

Race:	wood-elf
Class:	ranger
Level:	51
Alignment:	Neutral
Ethos:	Chaotic
Cabal:	OUTLANDER, the Outlanders of Thar-Eris
Age:	1018
Hours:	674

Pvask violently grabs your arm and yanks you close to him, his wild eyes glistening into yours and delivers the softest kiss...

I've shared a last time a couple times, but never a wife. Such a crazy
and cool dynamic we had as an IC Perma, lol. We went from practicing parry to you outliving me by centuries and everything you went on to accomplish. I'm very proud of and impressed with you.

The level and depth that we took this marriage too was surreal. Even when I was having an ooc breakdown and letting it out ic with you,
you were there for me on so many levels.

I probably will never again find such a deep connection entirely IC
like I did with you.


I wish you all the best, Pvask is happy to be with you again
in the skies.

I admit, when you asked me to take your last name and be wed I was highly skeptical. Back in the old days of CF, I played a lot of female characters and thus ended up in a lot of character marriages (as it was far more normalized then). And they never turned out well. Never. Some got weird enough that I deleted. Some of them deleted... maybe I was the weird one! But this one seemed to genuinely stem from a connection these characters had, and I was fascinated with the evolution of Pvask as a character.

Zero regrets! You were amazing in that role. Chaotic evil is rarely done well, let alone in a romantic relationship setting (which I think is RP hard mode), and I thought you walked the line of good taste well. I personally never felt like you went too far, as a character or within the private RP of the relationship. And that's saying a lot, really. Because it was a ton of hours. I am certain our cabal got super tired of hearing "my love" over cabal chat, though. :)

I didn't have a super well planned out path for this character, but you immediately took it in a direction I never would have gone, for the better. And I was super sad when you deleted, and wish you would have stuck it out just a bit longer. Oh well! I got a ton of mileage out of Pvask even after his death, and you can see how that played out in my role entries should you care to.

Thanks for the time spent! I am glad the character helped you through RL stuff, that makes it even more special. Never give up.

nt

This is going to be long, because I played this character for many hours and I have a lot of thoughts. TLDR - I had an awesome time. You got pwned by a noob. Sorry not sorry. Thank you Rarywey, for everything but especially your time. Second home terrain, "forester," was an RP reward after 400+ hours of play (I had swamp skills in the forest). Barkskin of the Feathery Willow edge was RC reward. I will miss being The Swamp Witch. :)

Back in 2004, I wanted to try the newly minted Outlander cabal. I created a gnome healer named Therisa, who became the second ever Harbinger. The experience was so negative that I quit the game for nearly 20 years. So it was with great trepidation that I approached the cabal again. Had the cabal been strengthened, or was it just a new skin on the same beast? Could I subvert expectations, and ignite enough interest to keep me going? Or would I just become a chameleon and fall into the deadfall trap of other Outlander players until I.... feral rage delete?

I didn't have a lot in the way of expectations or goals going in with this character. I wanted to capitalize on the 400ish hours I spent with Nalaea, this time with a more powerful build. I was told this was a good way to solidify positive PK habits (after now well over 1000 hours of animist ranger between Nalaea and Mystrillania, I can say this is true). I wanted to try the Outlander cabal in its current state (back when I played, Ancient Instincts was still in development, so that was all new to me). And I wanted to play a chaotic neutral, which I never do, in a way that was not "chaotic stupid" but more "chaotic fun" or "chaotic impulsive."

I had one of those AI art things create a few images for me until I found one I liked for the character, and then fixed it up in photoshop. I kept that image in my head for all of these hours, and I think it really helped me stay true to the character. She looked sweet and fun, but also like she maybe just said something really sassy. I also came up with a pretty great story for her. I learned from past characters that having a personal, ongoing story arc really keeps me interested, but also that having a set series of goals leaves you nowhere to go after they are completed. So with Mystrillania, I had a strong story arc (which you can read in the PBF if you care) but with an open end to allow me to just see how things went and roll with in-game events. She was an Outlander, but that was only a part of what drove her as a person. I wrapped up her story in her roles when I was at 4 con, which helped me make peace with saying goodbye. I had a goal of either con dying or age dying. But I guess all the cool kids con die anyway.

Hilariously, just like a month after joking on Discord that they should bring back the "Wedding Song" for bards to encourage players to get into more awkward in-game romances, I ended up in one myself. This turned out to be actually a pretty cool part of the character in many ways, but a detriment in others. Cool because Pvask was a very well RPed character who really approached accurately how a chaotic evil person would treat a relationship. He made it weird in good IC ways (possessive, jealous, objectifying) without ever verging into the bad weird behaviors that I always dread (I'm sure I need not elaborate). Was it awkward at times? Yeah okay, after a few hundred hours of hug and kiss emotes you start to wonder what exactly you are doing. But the relationship had a natural progression and a lot of interesting moments. He was the Joker to my Harley Quinn. He got me mob killed more than I can adequately explain, but it was almost always a fun time.

It was bad in the ways that RL women experience every day. Pvask was an ever-present, high profile character. And I as his wife. Pvask's wife. I was "Pvask's wife" for most of this character's life, well after he was dead and gone. Wood-elf Waifu. Gnobflink once grudgingly admitted I had an identity of my own, such a compliment. I had a lot of interesting stuff going on with this character, but it was all overshadowed by being "Pvask's wife." During and after the marriage, other characters were constantly trying to romance her as well, either truly or ironically (or a mixture of both). Here's a new pick-up line for you: "Girl, you so sexy you would be sexualized in a text-based RPG."

Fortunately, two people at least, besides Pvask, were seeing what I was doing with the character: Lyeeth and Rarywey. I cannot thank you enough for giving me the opportunity to take the character in a different direction and validating the hard work I had put into her. And of course for the "forester" terrain, which was such a huge upgrade to what was already a fairly deadly character build. Every interaction with Rarywey was such a pleasure. I knew I would never get a tattoo, because I wasn't in your sphere and also didn't really treat it as a religion as much as just a place to go and talk to a friend. But it was never about that for me anyway. I just really enjoyed interacting with you.

Thoughts on Outlander: I am sad to read all the negative things people say about Outlander. There is an idea that all of us were cheating. I logged in a few times to find that we were in the middle of being raided, and every time my heart sank because I knew that now I would be lumped in with this ring of players all communicating through back channels. I never was. Sometimes you just log in to a raid. What can I say? If there is a cheat ring, I have insultingly not been invited after however many hundreds of hours. What, is your cheat ring too good for me, you elitists?

Back when I first played Outlander, I had two main complaints. The first was a lack of immortal involvement and oversight. The second was that the cabal ethos was too restrictive and led to an isolationist playstyle that killed the fun. What I realized this time fairly early on was, the existence of my first complaint negates the second complaint. The cabal is a free-for-all. It is what you make it. I didn't want to be isolationist, I wanted friends. So I said no thank you to the suggested enemy list. I wasn't skipping down the street holding hands with a dwarf, but I wasn't going to attack them just for being born with a beard (is that how that works?). I was all about personal choices. Joining Empire is a personal choice. Being an Azure-touched is not. You can harp "game balance" to me about that if you want, but there is NO BALANCE in this game. Let's not pretend there is. If you are having fun, you are doing it right. The end. Also, with the overwhelming number of Reavers and complete lack of Wardens, I felt it was a Sentinel's place to be light-leaning in that environment. Most Sentinels are only distinct from Reavers in their power set. I was trying to actually fill that role, talking to people about the message as much as I was fighting against our enemies, rather than just sitting silently in the forest and jump-scaring people (which I also did plenty). You'll also find a number of Fort kills in my kill list, for those that earned my ire.

I think I did pretty well with the character. I am proud of it. I have been playing this game for about 8 months now, and yet my kill list this time includes many top-tier vets. Were some of those kills cheap? Of course they were. Was I a conservative PKer? I mean, it's an animist ranger, guys. I'm not going to fight you in market square. But when the PBF is published, you can see all the times I died in the Spire taking those risks I hear I never took. I also have some great logs of me fighting very bad odds, which I will post in time. It was fun! I did play drunk occasionally, so um... well it's a game after all. But if you feel you are owed an apology for anything, please do let me know here or even on Discord. I very much want to grow as a person and a player, and not be a toxic part of the community.

I owe an explanation/apology to Skry. The story is, Skry full looted me and took my wedding ring. I had to beg to get it back. This story led to Pvask delivering a full loot to her eventually, as retribution. The truth is, Mystrillania was a *bit* overdramatic, and maybe a little manipulative especially where Pvask was involved. I was playing too late one night, far too many drinks in to still be logged in, and Aidle had the brilliant idea that we should take the Scales because there was only one defender, Skry, who was out of range for both of us. I actually thought it was a really bad idea, but with this character I tried to just be impulsive and get myself into trouble, so I said, "Yeah!"

And it went really bad. Sometimes the number of guards that appear at the Executioner far exceeds reason, I dunno why. I probably didn't prep well, I don't remember. But we got nuked that time. Skry DID proceed to full loot both of us, temporarily. I am not sure what she was doing really. Our corpses decayed and we got nothing back. I told Skry I wanted my wedding ring back, she taunted me a bit, but then ended up giving me most of my gear and I think some of Aidle's. The ring was not among that gear (so I believed). I was kind of pissed, and decided it would be a great time to do my whole "Davtevar Stormblood" spirit voice over tell until she no-replied me, which was fair enough (we really need an etell command like esay, so people like me don't end up just looking like they are going OOC). I then got a new ring identical to the one I had and made Aidle swear she would never tell Pvask it was not the original ring. The next day, I looked in my inventory and there was the original ring. Whoopsie-doodle. But since I had already told Aidle it wasn't, and that was a far better story, I just went with it. Skry became "That B*tch Skry" forever after, and the story was that she full looted me and made me beg for my ring. I never expected that to have such negative consequences. Sorry, Skry! I never really had anything against you. The story was just way more fun than the truth.

Anyway... thank you everyone for such a great play experience. I expected nothing from this character and got everything. I met far too many people to say individual things about all of them who made this experience wonderful, so here's a brief list of stand-outs:

Rarywey!!! Pvask, Lyeeth, Vhriha, Feratil, Corwick, Gnobflink, Arjaby, Skarrmak, Ihol, Damil, Merthoc, Svarden, Bazz, Garrick. I know I am forgetting some, please do not feel slighted. This was a lot of hours.

I enjoyed RPing with you as Lyeeth and being able to explain the fun views of Rarywey's religion. I didn't know much about you other than somehow Pvask had convinced you to romance him IC so I was happy to fly up to talk to you and find out you weren't just another weirdo. The only thing you mentioned at first was 'yeah that guy is pretty strange I get it, kill him if you want' basically. So I didn't really see you as Pvasks shadow ever. Also you should not take any guilt from the whole 'outlander cheat ring' meme. It was brought on by a small list of prominent serial Outlander players and I never even considered you as one of them.

You were such a breath of fresh arpee air and fun to randomly interact with as Lyeeth but also as a few enemies since him.

Well done!

You are obviously amazing and I feel privileged that I got to spend time with Lyteeth and grateful you guided me toward the Rarywey religion (even though I thought you were BSing me at the time). It really changed the direction of the character. And also, without you helping me with those CON boost quests I would have died a lot sooner. I am very grateful!

The current Outlander crop are bad and have been bad for quite a while now with their cheating and their spiteful looting. They really are utter trash. For you to play an Outlander for 600+ hours and <not> have their stench rub off on you is a testament. Nothing but good things to say about Myst. I feel like you learned a LOT on this one. Well done and GLWYN!

Thanks! I feel like there is a lot of imagining going on with Outlander right now. I mean I did play close to 700 hours, and during my time slots I never felt there was anything untoward happening. It's just that you can't tell when people are online a lot of the time. But maybe I am naïve, who knows! I mostly loved everyone in the cabal, lots of good RP and people coordinate well over CB chat.

Myst was so cool and I got to see different stages of your character development. It was funny marrying you and Pvask, then hunting you with Erreak, and now...... You might have a good guess. I'm going to have to read your role, I was interested where that other voice was coming from.


Awesome long lived character.

I really enjoyed our lesbian gay love we had and you didnt even say goodbye to me here! BLAH! That one time in Maethian when we first traveled lead me to believe that you were a really good player and knew your #### even if Pvask thought you were a newbsauce I didnt. Thanks for all the fun. All the good talks and all the suicide runs at the Spire. MAN DID WE GET SPLATTED! And I never did tell Pvask about the ring you did! Also I still hated that magistrate and still do. To do that to the low number of players we have now is a jackass move and is #### let alone it makes you look like a jackwagon Skry can suck a nugget. Sorry I didnt get to tell you goodbye. But I think we left good, you knew I was close to death anyways. I really loved you and thanks for teaching me the ropes. It was my first outty and I really only stayed because of you. Also you saved Pvask from getting slaughtered. Cause I was gonna. LMFAO glwn and I hope someday to get to walk with you again in a new form! Ausome character ausome rp all around legit. I bet your ausome in real life too. God bless my sister from some other mister!

Aidle and so many others... best hundreds of hours ive spent in real life this year hands down because of you thanks and you helped me get that really hard to get tattoo too (by far my coolest one yet too) but you gave me ideas to bounce around in my head with and for that thanks between the two of us it worked i guess in the end GLWN and good luck in your life god bless

Thanks, and I enjoyed Aidle a lot as well... most of the time! :) Yeah we got utterly screwed that time, both by the Executioner and Skry. I don't hold it against her, though. I was really too drunk to be playing. :) I was happy to see you get your tat then baffled when you auto-deleted. Bummer! See you in the fields!

being saurian and the only druid sped up the auto delete from a month to like a week thats totally on me it was a accident lol

Traitor! :)

You were great in all iterations. I never would have guessed Erreak was the same player as Feven in a billion years. I wish I had gotten to know Feven better, but I came in as you were on the way out. I look forward to knowing more of your characters in the future.

It was always fun to hang out with you, even more fun when I wasn't caught in your snares! Thanks for the snare forecast and good times!

Always amazing! Looks like I won the race to the grave, though. Better luck next time. ;)

I loved Mystrillania! I can’t wait to see what you come up with next.

Thanks! Golden Girls references are a sure path to my heart. :)

I'd been watching Mystrillania with interest for a while, but after Pvask died I just happened to snoop you solo-rping a ritual for him, and I fell hook, line, and sinker. The extra terrain reward wasn't even my idea, by the way. You have someone else to thank for that; I just delivered it. It did give me a great way to draw you into the religion, however, and I'm so glad you were receptive to it! Your role, while being a distinct set of beliefs all its own, had a lot of intersecting ideas that really fit with Rary-faith. Thank you for all the great talks. I very much enjoyed Mystrillania.

Also, I stayed up waaaaay past my bed time waiting for you to die last night, but it very clearly was not late enough, alas. Late gechoes are better than no gechoes. <3

Thanks a million for everything! I know, I was trying to die earlier but I vowed to myself I wouldn't die to anything but my own true failure. I wasn't going to throw a single life away, or compromise the way I played the character even once. So I sat and watched the time tick away, fighting Skarrmak for hours until he finally pulled in a saurian (cheater!).

Thanks for staying up. And thanks for the gechoes, they made me cry. Absolutely perfect. One of these days, I need to make a true Rarywey follower so I can approach it for real. But I don't know if it would mean more than this did to me. I'm not sure how it could.

If you ever snooped and saw me relaying Rarywey stories to people all mixed up, I did that because I thought that's what the character would do. She didn't really keep all the stories straight. I as a player (probably) have a better understanding. ;) But you may have damage control to do with people who have like 3 stories mashed together thanks to Mystrillania.

Enjoyed the banter a lot. Really, really great character.

Thank you! I LOVED fighting and interacting with Svarden, even though you wrecked me most of the time. You were so amazing at just jumping out of nowhere, and finding me in far flung reaches of the world. I aspire to some day be that awesome. Well done, and thanks for the great time!

I will say that you definitely fell into the "Pvask's wife" slot for the first while I knew you. I didn't get particularly close to you, the whole "animist is basically a mage-ranger" thing, but what I saw was consistent and immersive, and added an interesting bit to the story. I did notice that you were not very competent at PK early on, but I think you got into the groove sometime after Pvask died because every so often I'd notice someone die, and it would be to you. So good on that :)

All in all, well done on a very long-lived and impactful character. GLWYN!

Thanks! You were a person I always wish I could have gotten to know better, because by all accounts you are one of the best people playing the game right now. But it never made sense from an RP perspective, due to my heavy reliance on magic. Oh well!

Yes, I definitely got way better at PK with this character. Things really started to click for me mentally after a certain point. I've never been a PVP-focused player, so with the past few characters I have been trying to change that. It remains to be seen if this will translate to future non-ranger characters, but I hope it will (especially because I do not want to play another ranger for a long time now).

You'll be missed. You seemed to be up for about anything and that was quite refreshing. Sorry we never made it back down in Nizarrsh Datul (Aboleths) again. Either way, I hope I was able to impart a little fun and wisdom along the way.

Great char. Come on back with something else just as unique, if the mood strikes. And enjoy a little Luck of the Thirteen while you're at it.

Thank you! It's funny, some of us kind of had a running joke about "the luck of the thirteen" because it seemed like every time you would say that before logging out, one of us would die. Damn luck of the thirteen again! :)

I always enjoyed hanging out with you. One of the shames of playing a shifter though, you can't speak while in form so a lot of the time you were on, you were just silently doing your thing. As a result, I guess I never really felt like I knew much about Outhyen as a character. My fault also for not taking the time to just sit down and have a talk.

Anyway, thanks for the fun times!