Mon Apr 11 20:03:14 2022

At 8 o'clock AM, Day of the Bull, 8th of the Month of the Ancient Darkness
on the Theran calendar Carreana perished, never to return.

Race:	half-elf
Class:	shaman
Level:	51
Alignment:	Evil
Ethos:	Chaotic
Cabal:	None, None
Age:	139
Hours:	287

I thought you were very cool and really dark. I expected to get kicked around by you at least once, as my pk skills are getting worse and they were never that good anyway. I could not think of a way my role/cabal could interact with you other than enemy at arms length. And I never believed anything anyone told me about you, so you don't have to look at me about the orc thing :) Maybe I will have the chance to really immerse myself in a character in collaboration, but lately I just haven't been able to get there. Anyway, thank you for the immersive characters, they really shine.

Since coming back in some fashion, what I learned is I suck at PK and my characters which try to focus on that utterly fail. So instead I just try to build an RP drive character and they seem to do well enough.

Carreana (I'm sure my wife loves that I used her middle name as my inspiration lol) was to be the total opposite of Tissie. Where she was proud of who she is and what her mother was. She took the power from people and did not let them control her even though she came up as a sex worker basically. She was no meak victim but a woman who knew her worth, and refused to let others define her or judge her. It was the view of how society sets rules and everyone is expected to live up to their expectations for the betterment of society. DOnt be that nail that is standing up, for it will get hammered down. She wanted to destroy such notions and concepts. Wanted to burn down all who would place her in a box and tell her how she should live, feel, etc.

What better then a shaman of pride to show such. However the first problem I encountered was I had not played a shaman since before there was a light armor/heavy armor split. So yeah...really clueless from the age of old Rot. I muddled my way though and was able to learn a bit from Riz and Dot, while trying not to look like a newbie. I bluffed my way a lot of times, and just faked it till I made it I guess you could say.

Goodbyes:
Immortals: Thanks for all the love and such. Always made me smile when I would get hit with either an Imm exp boost, role exp boost, or some sort of affliction for smiting a follower :)

Morius: Glorious Blessed Father! I am yours! Thank you for all the time you put into the character and I'm sorry if I disappointed you in any way in the end as a character. To be honest, pushing over 200 is the most I've done in a long time and I really was trying to stick it out. Sadly I seem to hit a block and things fell into a rut where nothing was progressing or really inspiring RP. It felt like I was just sitting around wasting time and that's not fun or productive for the game, your or me. I think the fault was more on my end for pushing forward with arcs and ideas of my own, and Carreana WAS prideful and always wanted attention. What DID hurt my motivation a bit was losing the Priestess of Pride title when I asked to be un-inducted from Outlander. That hurt Carreana IC a lot as she left to double down in her faith in Morius. OOC I was confused if it was a mechanical aspect of un-induct or if she had done something to displease Morius. I prayed and prayed and never got any sort of acknowledgement in either direction so it kind fell flat for me.

Ergush: Thanks for allowing Carreana to happen and letting her stir the pot. I sort of felt I was getting a lot of rope to hang myself with, and I really didnt want to take advantage of your kindness in letting it play out. I tried to be evil without being a #### to both outlanders and enemies, but thats not to say I didnt let others know where outlanders were who pissed her off :) She was chaos driven, wanting to destroy the world because thats the only true way to remove the hooks of society from the world. Ie: I say we take off and nuke the entire site from orbit.

Whiysdan: Thanks for the RC rewards. I hope it was a fun read and not too hard to get through. I had 3 other RC wins and I felt obligated to push this one well past 200 hours out of respect for your time and effort. I felt bad about deleting the other ones before their time. I REALLY do need to make a follow of yours one of these days.

Azorinne: Damn your radiant illumination thing :) I deserved it each time, I just wish it had a timer so I knew how long I was going to burn.

Rarywey: Thank you for all the trans into the Inn for events. I tried to give environmental interaction without going overboard or being TOO distractive. I really did have a lot of stuff writen and had fully planned on giving you a book to add. But until then, I just took the short cut to get into the Inn :)

Players: There were so many I interacted with over the time that its hard.
Dot and Riaz: Thank you for the fun canvas to play off of in Outlander. I always tried to mock Riaz in small jabs and such especially when they got Nightreaver. Though I always did appericate the small things they did that helped me become better with shamans. Same with Dot as you were perhaps one of the few people I would group with to run around and raid. Though your AOE damage put me to shame as you did tons more.

Rinn: I loved and hated you. Great character and was fun when you were around. Had hopes of converting you to help destroy all elves and end their bickering over which breed of elf was better. As well, was always pushing to have you kill more and more paladins when I could. The fun part was I never did lie to you about any of your questions. However Carreana HATED you because early on you hung me out to dry either by accident or on purpose in the Spire when younger. My shield went down and I got bashed by 8 guards and died. Then I notice the only piece of gear I lost was a ring...which I noticed you were now wearing. OOC no hate there, but I just had to shake my head.

Other outlanders: I tried to help when I could, or hurt depending upon who you were and how you treated Carreana. I just hope people I interacted with had fun.

Dohri: My favorite Fort of all. I LOVED our long conversations and me twisting all the actions done to you by others. Trying to convince you that they only used you, and threw you to the side. That I was the only one who every truly cared about you and that Father would show you the same love. It was so fun and I always looked forward to the banter back and forth.

Heralds: Loved most of you and it was always fun.

Dannsha: Fun chats and banters. Who knew it would lead to me being claimed as a scion lol

Ceva: From lvl 17 on, you were always around and always trying against me. Way to stick it out and keep on trucking dude. You roughed out the hard part and took up a hard position.

Some other notes about Carreana:
Smite was fun and would surprise the hell out of a lot of people. I really didnt try to smite 1 person a lot or constantly as I would spread it around. There were a few exceptions such as I would be told "X fled at convulsing" so I would send one and hope for the best. Otherwise it was a tool to know where people were, or to just cause chaos and fear with not knowing if you would get hit with a smite when you were low on HP. If you felt you were picked on, I am sorry but that was not the intent. It was just her way of showing some Morius love.

Rumor 1: I was kicked from Outlander. Nope. The truth was I had always planned on leaving Outlander (either by choice or kicked) but it just never came so I wanted to move my RP into the next arc. Being skipped IC for Nightreaver twice was huge blows in making this come to pass, and then the icing was Rinn telling her she needed to focus more on the Refuge and less on Morius. And then Rinn claiming it was only because of the Outlander powers that I succeeded (maybe...but a prideful person would buck at that). So I used this interaction to leave the refuge.

Rumor 2: I was Scion, or I was actively going scion. Eh...not true nor false. She wanted to awaken primordial beast of an ancient time to destroy the world. To watch it burn. IF refuge would lead the way great..but they always wanted to stop before true destruction. Dannsha offered a path, but Carreana wasnt going to put her faith into a person who was not Chancellor or Advisor. Dannsha asked and asked and pushed for her to join but she refused. HOWEVER had Morius asked Carreana, she would have done it because she was a loyal daughter who only wanted his acceptance. In truth Carreana was going hard core religion and sought to be Morius High Priestess, and could care less about cabal politics. Any chaos she could spread to destroy things the better.

Rumor 3: I grouped with/raided with/helped orcs. Carreana was intrigued by orcs as they embodied all the aspects of Morius and vices. However they were stupid and refused to follow him and wanted to follow their own gods. She refused to group with them however she wasnt above taking advantage of them and/or the situation. Hell, one of my early hero deaths was to an orc who just cursed the area, spinebroke me over and over and over and I could do #### all. That was frustrating as hell. Most of the other times, orcs were hidden or not in pk range. Once I did solo raid the Fort and took the orb and took it to the shrine to have Morius defile it. Then dropped it and Krig took it and ran. I think this is where all the hate for "you group and raid with orcs!" came from. Truth was, he was a lvl 35 and was snooping around trying to kill a Fort who was hiding inside when I was already raiding. Once Krig entered pk range, I would smite him like everyone else. So nope, never grouped with or raided with orcs.

Rumor 4: Odaza. Again people wanted to claim I ran around with Odaza and such which was far from true. Hell, I really didnt even see Odaza till then end of the characters life. Odaza gave a tell and I explained I am still who I am, and never cared about nature but the destruction of society. He told me "huh you are interesting" and that I wasnt hunted. Ok cool. That was about it, even though I tried to smite him because he was taking away from my time with speaking with Rarywey...however he was immune. Not sure what people wanted me to do against him, immune to smite/plague/poison/fear/dam/dem basically anything I could do. Kick him to death? yeah that would have been great. But no, didnt work with or group wit Odaza.

Thats about it. I'm sure I have forgotten a lot of stuff and I will respond if needed/or if you want to specific things. In the end, I just hope people had fun with me or against me.

Oh, dear. This would be something that you would do wouldn't it? I truly did have plans to try and spend more time with you but ,of course, you leave me before I can see them through. I shall have to remember you the
next time I feel like I can put off an interaction with someone because, like you, they may be gone before I have an opportunity to be with them again. So here I am full of regret. I am sure that you would take great pleasure in knowing that.

I can only hope that I caused you just a fraction of the frustration you caused me throughout our many talks. Gods, I wanted rip my hair out at some points. Again, I am sure that you would love to know that you caused me such discomfort.

I also hope that you had as much fun as I did interacting with you.

Did I ever tell you what I asked Riazle to say to you for me? I asked him, "Will you please tell Carreanna to not despair?"

Why did I worry about you?

Why will I miss you now?