Cedany Talandren the Artsy Chronicler of Engaging Intrigue, Painter of the Eternal Star

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The wizened Cedany is an image of classic elven poise, even as her ink-stained hands tremble.

Description

The blonde hair of this elderly elf has been braided into a long plait that
she has wound into a bun atop the back of her head. Favoring comfort over
style, she wears an emerald tunic embroidered with a multitude of twinkling
stars. Tan cotton pants, silver teardrop earrings, and plain leather shoes
complete the simple ensemble. Her cerulean eyes are still bright as ever,
though the edges of her eyes are accented with crows feet. More wrinkles
can be seen around her cheeks when she smiles, which is not an uncommon
sight. Her ink stained hands shake slightly, but she maintains a proper
posture and does not seem to be overly bothered by the quirks of her
aging body.

---

Score

Level	51	Sex	female	Race	elf
Ethos	Orderly	Align	Good	Class	healer
Practices	5	Trains	0	Hometown	Voralian City
Exp	557300	To Level	26000	Sphere	Revelation/Divination
Age old, 1171 years old (789 hours)
Hit Points	635	Mana	1101	Movement	1057
Strength	16	Intelligence	25	Wisdom	21
Dexterity	18	Constitution	11	Charisma	16
Carry #	0/34	Carry Weight	0 lb 0 oz
Gold	0	Silver	0	Copper	0
Wimpy	174	Morale	Moderate
Hitroll	0	Damroll	0

Sat Aug 15 21:03:25 2020 by 'An Immortal' at level 22 (20 hrs):
An Immortal added 125 exp for: We met, and you were thoughtful. You have met many kinds of evil, not all willing to speak.

Sat Aug 15 21:03:43 2020 by 'Einoh' at level 22 (20 hrs):
I tasked you with finding evil within yourself, that we may speak on it together next time.

Sat Aug 15 21:14:02 2020 by 'An Immortal' at level 23 (20 hrs):
An Immortal added 1000 exp for: Worships Einoh, had an incident 15 years ago about helping someone. And our beginnings of meeting people.

Tue Aug 18 13:52:41 2020 by 'An Immortal' at level 36 (47 hrs):
An Immortal added 200 exp for: Some good backstory RP/talk with Olethros.

Thu Aug 20 20:37:42 2020 by 'An Immortal' at level 51 (69 hrs):
An Immortal added 400 exp for: Gristal took his own life!? Cedany, like Rarywey, feels loss. Can those who are evil break the circumstances around them? Good internal thoughts.

Sat Aug 22 23:58:45 2020 by 'Whiysdan' at level 51 (85 hrs):
Good presence for Fort lately. Enjoy the lastname!

Mon Aug 24 02:07:58 2020 by 'An Immortal' at level 51 (92 hrs):
An Immortal added 100 exp for: You donated a 'limb' to Omugug, aren't I just delightful?

Mon Aug 24 21:39:40 2020 by 'An Immortal' at level 51 (97 hrs):
An Immortal added 100 exp for: RP with Aynwinria and Ariendil.

Tue Aug 25 22:23:46 2020 by 'An Immortal' at level 51 (106 hrs):
An Immortal added 100 exp for: Relieve your bank of its excess, and challenge two of your friends to further their goodness as well.

Wed Aug 26 00:22:08 2020 by 'An Immortal' at level 51 (109 hrs):
An Immortal added 400 exp for: Role update about getting trolled by Morius.

Thu Aug 27 01:12:04 2020 by 'An Immortal' at level 51 (117 hrs):
An Immortal added 100 exp for: Another set of good discussions, and one in depth one with Ariendil as you took part in your task.

Mon Aug 31 18:26:05 2020 by 'An Immortal' at level 51 (154 hrs):
An Immortal added 100 exp for: RP with Iliomyndil about a number of things, including your chat with Ishuli. Unsure of yourself!

Tue Sep 1 01:42:46 2020 by 'An Immortal' at level 51 (157 hrs):
An Immortal added 100 exp for: Participating in Rarywey's taletelling event.

Wed Sep 2 21:50:28 2020 by 'An Immortal' at level 51 (173 hrs):
An Immortal added 400 exp for: Updates about flaws in both Ariendil and Rarywey and things we've asked them to contemplate. Also, thoughts on the Light and the holy war.

Wed Sep 9 21:38:23 2020 by 'An Immortal' at level 51 (235 hrs):
An Immortal added 400 exp for: Our thoughts on Olethros and him attacking goodie mages. As well as our thoughts on loneliness.



Followed by http://forums.carrionfields.com/dc/dcboard.php?az=show_mesg&forum=31&topic_id=68397&mesg_id=68414&page=

I can't pull 681-789 though.

Role

Chapter 12

Reflections on Love and Loss
Added Mon Oct 26 15:01:07 2020 at level 51:

Is it true? Do I hate myself?? I have scribed the words from the encounters with
Rahsael's aspects into my journal, as if I might be able to use them in some
sort of cautionary tale in the future. But for who? It is all just a bit too
personal. The accusations are a touch too sharp to read to anyone else. If I
read them, will they end up cut to shreds as I am? I think the most likely
outcome might be worse. They'll pity me and assure me it isn't true, as if any
of their words can cushion the accusations that echo within my mind. They see
the side of me that helps others, they don't see all of those I failed to help.
I know there is no tally, but it is difficult to find joy in my successes when
my failings have been given a voice to harm me.

After all of that I told Ariendil I was fine. I assured him that I was better. I
am, sort of. Not really. Aynwinria slipped off into the wilds knowing she saved
someone. I'm not sure I'll have that assurance when I find my bones failing me.
Again, there is no tally. There is no cosmic list of the souls that have been
saved by adherents of the Light. Perhaps my smaller acts of goodness have
stopped someone from falling into despair. It is a pleasant thought.

And then there is Rarywey. As I scroll back through my old diary entries, I am
reminded of how much happier I was with her around. I know I tend towards being
morbid - most medics do. There are only so many dying men you can see before you
find a way to excise the parts of you that were foolish enough to believe in the
notion of miraculous recoveries. I didn't tell her how much she meant to me. I
didn't tell her how much she inspired me or how many adventures I had hoped to
go on with her. There were so many words left unsaid - as if I didn't learn the
most important lesson from all of those dying men. No day is guaranteed. I can
beg, I can pray for the strength of my Lord, but there is nothing that will stop
the turning of time. At least I can write it here, in part.

Gristal, I am still sorry. I am trying to do better.
Aynwinria, I miss you dearly. I need your wisdom more now than ever.
And to Rarywey, my muse, I cared about you more than anyone else. I still do. I
hope you are happy among the stars, though they pale in comparison to what you
are.

Role

Chapter 13

Two halves of a distanced whole
Added Thu Oct 29 14:44:31 2020 at level 51:

(A long journal entry in which Cedany continues to muse on her own nature -
especially her desire to understand others. She has moved on from learning about
the experiences that are shared among Therans and instead focuses on the kin
that confound her)

I don't think I'll ever understand as much as I want to about those I care
about. I've been thinking on this for days, going back and forth wondering
whether *I'm* the problem or if there even *is* a problem. Evil is
incomprehensible at the best of times and none of my kin fight to understand it.
What am I supposed to do when it is those same kin that are thousands of miles
away from me, separated by their philosophies on life and loss?

I am the problem, in some ways. I have always distanced myself from my losses.
It's easier to see them as events in time that bring pain to others. If someone
dies, I am perched upon the outermost circle. Even if it rends my heart to be
without them... I never put myself in the frame. It was their Loss, their
experience... their existence. But what does that leave for me? If I won't
acknowledge the impact others have on me until a century after they leave, am I
ever going to be able to celebrate them? It only takes a few scarce months for
the memory of their face to fade. Their voice leaves my mind a few months later.
Decades later, my memories paint them in silhouette, and I can't stop it. That's
the cruel reality of distancing myself... I don't just lose them. I also lose
the heart of my memories and their idioms and every other little thing that they
were. I think they lose something when I pull away. Surely they must sense my
hesitance. But I don't want to think on that.

Then there's the other side of the coin. Is there a problem? Do I have to
understand them? When I said that unwilling change of my body was the worst
thing *I* experienced, I meant it. If we look at events that only pertain to me,
I have lived a charmed life in the Light. However, It is unrealistic to only
look at those instances, as so much of who I am is bound up in the lives of
those I care about. One side of me is rather unscathed, the other side is
fending off wounds that would come from acknowledging my part in the lives of
others.

I have tried to reason this out. Without the separation and walls I've built, I
would be even more prone to panic when healing adventurers who were close to
death. I feel that I'd slowly crack under the weight of the memories, until I
refused to make any connections out of fear. I keep hoping there's a balance.
I'm not sure how, but perhaps I can find some way to see myself in their lives,
as a part of their story. Would it make me a better friend? Or a more apt
healer? Would I be able to do more good for others if I wasn't haunted by my
memories? Maybe it would be a disaster. Only time will tell.

Role

Chapter 14

On aging and agendas
Added Mon Nov 2 05:41:48 2020 at level 51:

(This journal entry lacks the elegant script of the prior entries. While the
writing would not be considered ugly by any means, the lines that form the
letters are uneven, with occasional blobs of ink dotting the page in odd
places.)

In all the time I have spent on Thera, I have been preoccupied with my goals,
adventures, and acts of kindness. A sea of faces has greeted me beyond the gates
of the Fortress, on the streets of the cities, and across the bar of the Inn. I
find myself thinking less upon people and more of the places that are rarely
visited. My bones ache when I wake, and I have seen the way the women in the
soup kitchen move aside when I walk in, as if I am some relic to be danced
around. I am old, yes, but am I that old?

I suppose I am.

Thinking of people reminds me of how quickly the centuries have passed, and I do
not wish to fall into despair. So I will focus on places and that which I know
in my heart:

1) Acts of kindness to those in need
2) Prayer and meditation
3) Writing various tomes for submission to the Lyceum
4) Staying near to my friends and to those who need someone to listen to them

It is a simpler agenda than any I have pursued before. There are no more
grandiose goals that I keep in the forefront of my mind. The one thing I have
not figured out how to do is how I wish to say goodbye. I do know I want to, but
the method escapes me. Will it be enough? I suppose I will save those thoughts
for next week, or the week after.

Role

Chapter 15

On once-friendships
Added Sun Nov 8 14:56:35 2020 at level 51:

I am lonely once again. Perhaps it is my own fault. I cannot be so steadfast as
Ariendil and content only in the presence of my faith. Mortals are social
creatures and I am no exception. I do not know what to make of this situation
with Birbmwn. I have done everything I can to be a good friend, even risking
that I would receive a warrant so she would not die. I have defended her when
everyone else assumes ill intent on her part. Now, the truth of her is revealed
to me and I am left clutching at shards of a once-friendship. When I am more
upset than I have been in recent memory, she doesn't apologize or ask if I am
okay. Instead, she 'apologizes' for the fact that *I* think she is lying. It is
more insulting than most non-apologies. She accuses me of insulting her when I
am hurt, telling me that my feelings are insulting. It makes no sense.

There are so many manipulations that I cannot even think of more than a few
without crying again. I tried to tell her of her manipulative behavior. I had
hoped to rely on the rock of my faith to see me through this. Perhaps if I
told her of the flaw I saw within her, she would realize how serious I was.
She redirected the conversation, pushing her good acts to the fore. When that
failed, she accused me of lying in my past missives. There is no winning, and
she doesn't care.

But there are bright points in my life still. I've vowed that I'll end these
entries on a positive note, even if it kills me. Boldr is a bright beacon of
Light, telling tales and walking his own path, free from religion. I wrote my
letters to Ariendil and Rarywey on the off chance that the Lord of Loss does
answer my missive. I've started writing my entries for the Lyceum, and I feel at
peace when I work on my entries. Perhaps I will submit some paintings too. I'm
still not sure my work is quite good enough, but the worst they can say is no.

Role

Chapter 16

On love and flaws
Added Mon Nov 16 20:44:04 2020 at level 51:

"... and where would the world be without a Cedany? It'd probably be mostly
the same." - Lady Daphedee, at the Inn.

As it turns out, an old elf can learn new tricks. The quote above sounds so
simple, doesn't it? One day, if anyone reads these pages, I imagine they will
roll their eyes and mutter to themselves about how self-absorbed I was. The
truth is, I never thought the world would not stop turning without me. But I
think Daphedee was right to mention my fear of being judged by others. Thera
would not stop if I was erased in the minds of those of care for - but a part
of my inner world would fall to pieces. How many centuries have I spent hating
myself? I would need to find the fifteen or so journals that preceded this
one, and I still might not find the start of the rot within me. No wonder
Rarywey tried so hard to get me to believe in myself. Still, I have time left.
I can be someone that she is proud of, and show her that I learned to be less
humble and more... ???

(The writing trails off here, denoting that Cedany was unsure what to write.
The next sentence is penned in a new color of ink, as if she hoped to create
a layer of separation from the section above.)

That isn't the only reason I'm writing here. After being confronted by Lord
Gaspare in the Inn, with him thinking I was Lady Daphedee... or putting on a
rather good show of it... I realized something else!

I. Was. RIGHT.

People don't always need lectures on faith and reason to be saved. They need
someone to be there - they need the memories of the times when a blanket and a
strong whiskey pulled them out of the depths of despair, even if they never
fully stop drowning. Even if their captor is just as flawed and lost as they
are. I am not glorifying Lady Daphedee's trip into Hell... but it is the most
relatable thing I have heard about in some time. Love is like that. It reveals
the bravest, stupidest, most vulnerable, unfathomable parts of ourselves. We
become something better and worse, all for that person who means so much to
us. I probably shouldn't be crying over their story, but I have been for the
last few hours. I'll need to keep reflecting on all of this, I think. I feel
so close to some breakthrough, but only the divine know what it might be - or
if it's even the truth.

Role

Chapter 17

Into the Dream
Added Thu Nov 19 15:25:27 2020 at level 51:

I've spent so many years worrying about this damn ritual. I've sent countless
missives, consulted with my Lord, spoken to Ariendil and Rarywey... I've even
pleaded with Birbmwn to give me information. Perhaps I went about it the wrong
way. I've read enough novels to know that there were more covert ways to learn
about this fated trip into the Dream.

Now that it is nearly here, I find myself strangely hollow. I still care about
the outcome, I still intend to stop any evil acts I see, but I am... distant
from it all. It's difficult to summon the strength to do anything other than
simply exist and trudge into the dream. I spent all these years worrying and
nothing has changed. I feel just as clueless and frustrated as I did when it
started.

The novels don't tell you about being bone tired, do they? They speak of leads
and successes and thwarting some wily adversary. You get to the final chapter
and there is a resounding sense of accomplishment. Is it sad that I was
looking forward to Birbwmn leaving me out of the trip? If she did, I could
stop worrying in earnest. Instead, I'm here, just kind of... waiting and being
grumpy. Ugh.

Role

Chapter 18

The bitter taste of truth
Added Sun Nov 22 11:34:33 2020 at level 51:

(This journal entry is written in red ink. Tears have soaked into the
parchment, making certain words unreadable.)

I had went into the Dream with a strange sense of trepidation. I expected
something cataclysmic. (Thanks, brain). Instead, there are only more
questions. And for once, it isn't the questions that bother me.

Birbmwn told Ariendil of what little she knew before we made the trip. So they
both knew about the why... and neither of them told me. How do I even begin to
process that? I've cried and screamed. I've dangled my legs from the stage of
the ampitheater and just... stared outward. I've hidden in my cave.

The truth finds me in all of these places and it reminds me that they *could*
have told me. They could have whispered it the second before we stepped
through the portal. They could have written a one line missive. But they
didn't. The truth screams at me, seeking to send me spiraling into despair.

Birbmwn I can understand. She is loyal to her faith above the Light. But
Ariendil? He was the one person I considered my truest friend. Before we went
into the dream, I offered to give my life for his, if it came to that. I still
would, I think. But that truth would be a rock in my throat, choking out all
but the smallest gasps of breath. Would I even have the strength to move?

Maybe I'm overthinking it... and maybe it doesn't matter. Maybe he had a
reason.

But I've shared *everything* with him. I'll confront him eventually. Maybe.
Not tonight though. I have an event to plan and a bottle of wine with my name
on it. 'Cedany, the over-trusting'. Here's hoping it isn't half as bitter as I
am.

Role

Chapter 19

The end of a long chapter
Added Tue Nov 24 13:55:08 2020 at level 51:

Well. I was wrong about Ariendil. He didn't tell me what Birbmwn said because
he didn't think it meant anything. I think I knew that deep down, but the trip
to the Dream eats at me. I'm not mad about the failure. If someone wants to
keep a ritual hidden, it isn't all that difficult. I'm more upset at myself. I
spent *so* much time trying when I knew the odds weren't in my favor. That
time could have been spent helping those in need or working on events for the
Inn. Worse still, I let my frustration cause me to doubt someone I never
should have doubted. I'll need to apologize to him for that.

In other news, I broke my favorite pen over that idiotic doll.

'Gristal ball'. ...

I don't think I've heard anything so succinct and cruel in my one thousand
years of life.

It got to Syl too, though not so bad. I worry for Boldr. I could see him
buying into that faith if he was hurt enough. I wouldn't tell him not to
pursue it - faith is a personal matter. Even so, I'm going to need to write
him a letter to stay strong when I pass on. I have no doubt he will, but I
want him to know how much I believe in him and how much he means to me. I see
so much of myself in him. We have our ridiculous doubts, we care for others,
and some part of our artistry saved us.

So many of my worries have evaporated. I'm not leaving the Inn empty. Ariendil
isn't leading the Fortress alone. The Light is strong - there are so many
young adventurers that give me immense hope in the future. I've even met the
most reasonable villager ever. (Probably).

Role

Chapter 20

On Contentment and Joy
Added Wed Dec 2 08:52:08 2020 at level 51:

It finally happened. She knows I love her, and she feels the same.

More importantly, she always knew.

I think that says a lot about me and my fears. How could I ever think someone
as wise and empathetic as her would not know? She experienced so much of the
same, it seems painfully silly in hindsight. Still, I wasn't known as a
reasonable elf for most of my life, and I don't think love is the influence I
needed to realign my path towards logic.

The Inn has Boldr, and I have all the faith in the world that he will succeed
in ways I cannot even dream of. The Fortress has a Captain and an Elder
Prophet once more, and the Light shines radiantly with souls who would see the
wicked punished for their misdeeds.

There is nothing more that I could ask for.

Role

Chapter 2

An orphanage?
Added Wed Aug 12 04:06:55 2020 at level 1:

I journeyed to the Inn of the Eternal Star and happened upon a wood-elf
and half-drow. The half-drow, Gristal, is supposedly an agent of chaos
with the interest of helping another one of the faithful build an
orphanage. He told me of Ariendal, who also follows Einoh and is working
on the orphanage. Perhaps we can meet soon and combine our efforts.

There is much to do yet, and my head spins with the possibility of it
all. I must train, fund myself with coppers, and eventually make the
pilgrimmage to the temple. I hope that this orphanage project will
glorify Einoh and provide a sanctum for those in need. Sun willing, it
might even provide me some clarity on my own path.

Role

Chapter 11

No Longer A Fraud
Added Fri Oct 16 13:20:24 2020 at level 51:

(In which Cedany reflects upon her path thus far and the plans of certain
evil-hearted individuals).

I can't help but to look back on my old journal entries and think upon the
choices I've made. I am not so dismayed by my past-self as to be ashamed, but
there is a measure of bewilderment that I feel. Above all, I am happy that I
have progressed past that stage in my life. I feel it is much like my painting.
It took me years to grow proud of my work, and even though I am do not shy away
from displaying my work, I see still the glaring faults that others might
ignore. Even with decades of practice, there are still certain subjects that are
difficult to sketch.

When I pledged myself to the Heralds, Rarywey asked me whether or not I would
start painting faces. She knew hoe much the prospect scared me. She challenged
me - demanding more of me than I ever would for myself. Now I have had to take
on that role. I have made progress, I think. I've revived the Post, hosted a
small contest, and painted my best work yet. I have stood up to the mummy and
other evil individuals. I have tried to live into the standard she set for what
it means to be a Herald...

And yet... I am still anxious. I know that mummyone, Narra, and maybe even
Saerha are up to something. How do I challenge myself to prepare for a
presumably horrid event that I do not know the nature of? Telling others of the
Light of what I know is a start... but I will need to figure out how to do more.
I wish they felt the urgency I did. Or maybe I am worrying too much?

In any case, I am proud to end this entry on a happier note.

I am confident I can make a difference. I am no longer a fraud, and I have my
faith to guide me. That *will be* my mantra moving forward.

Role

Chapter 10

Tragedy and Finality
Added Sat Sep 26 13:45:13 2020 at level 51:

(A journal entry in which Cedany tries to understand how to move forward without
the Fortress in her life.)

So much has happened over the last few days. I am heartbroken for Olethros,
thrilled I found my muse, grateful to have spoken to my Lord, and furious at
Morius. Oh, and I left the Fortress and pledged to the Heralds. It pains me
that such horrid events would need to take place for me to have absolute
clarity, but it seems that I need finality to shake me from my impulsive ways.

With so many of my failings laid bare, I am left to wonder about how I ended up
here. How did I get to the point where I am comfortable calling a horrid man a
'lesser evil'? I have endeavored to walk the path between light and darkness. I
do not think that was where I went wrong. I believe that my Lord was trying to
encourage me to realize that I had dulled the horrid edges to the point that I
stopped seeing evil for what it was. There is a difference between empathy and
willful ignorance, and I have tended more towards the latter. I guess the why
doesn't matter so much though. I mean, it does... but I need a path forward. I
need to figure out how I am going to keep doing good while in the Heralds if I
am accepted. Once I have found my path again, I can spend even more time on m
reflections.

Guarding myself against temptation should be my first priority. I must remember
that all the feelings of being alone are not true. It is another way for evil to
rest in my heart, and I cannot let it influence my actions. If I am not the type
to condemn or slay evil, what am I? There must be something more than writing
missives, listening, and outfitting those of the Light. How can I protect those
who are susceptible as I am? Sharing my story might work, but I am not quite
willing to share it. I will need to keep praying and reflecting.

Role

Chapter 9

Admitting the truth
Added Fri Sep 18 19:31:23 2020 at level 51:

(A journal entry in which Cedany comes to terms with the fact that she is
envious of those who can 'fail'.)

These last few days have been difficult. I feel alone, even when surrounded by
friends and those of the Fortress. My life has been wonderful compared to
theirs. My family didn't die in a plague, nor was I enslaved by Sitran. With
everything pushing me towards a virtuous life, why do I find it so difficult to
walk the proper path? The last time, I chalked up retrieving the codex with
Maere as me not wanting to be 'do nothing'. That is a part of it, yes, but it is
the part that makes me look better than I am. In truth, I think I seek the
muddled areas of this world because I want permission to fail. I want to see the
muddled parts of the world for myself. I find myself thinking of Rarywey and the
others who can walk off the beaten path without feeling like a damned fraud. I
want both, but I cannot have both. It is the height of selfishness and
stupidity.


So many people reach out to me and call me Acolyte. It hurts me every time. What
would they think if they knew how quickly I jumped to help Maere? I love helping
those who seek my aid. I love doing good acts that are within my reach. But
denying someone and risking that they hate me? Apparently that is my massive,
idiotic stumbling stone. Aynwinria seems so well-reasoned. Ariendil seems so
composed. Why don't I have any of that? Why do I falter in the face of a choice
that most other people would deny without a second thought?

I visited Rahsael's temple today. In talking with Maeneekoni, it occurred to me
that I might lose everything because of these hang-ups. I might be ousted from
the Fortress or my faith. Or both. But I can still help others. I helped before
I found Einoh and my home. But I really don't want to lose these things. I want
to fix myself.

Role

Chapter 8

Failures
Added Thu Sep 17 01:39:07 2020 at level 51:

I find myself oscillating between irrational actions and ideas that seem almost
right. Does securing the codex matter if I do so with those who are unpure? I
fear that I let down my Lord today, but I am woefully sick of just sitting in
the Fortress. I know I am not a Maran. I am not supposed to be on the front
lines, but I just needed to feel something again. Anything. Drawing helps, but
only until I realize that it is a distraction.

I have hundreds of years until I die, and yet I feel that most days slip away
without me doing much of anything at all. Now I have to grapple with the fact
that I was a wanted criminal for aiding both the pure and unpure in a raid. I
drowned myself in the sea to escape the Tribunal's justice. What does that say
about me?

I fear that the answers of my nature are becoming clearer, and I do not much
like them. I am not much of a beacon of the Light. I am flighty, afraid, and
prone to rash actions. I want everyone to be happy. I want to do good things.
But all those wants don't result in much if I'm the same foolish girl that left
the forests.

Role

Chapter 7

Loneliness and exclusion
Added Wed Sep 9 17:36:34 2020 at level 51:

A journal entry in which Cedany reflects upon her chat with Olethros. The final
line is underlined multiple times, in various colors of ink.
---

There are days where I feel like an outsider within the walls of the Fortress.
How can I not feel like an impostor when everyone else is angry and upset at
Olethros for hunting elven mages of the Light? He is our kin, but simply being
born as an elf does not supersede everything else. The Maran would strike down
an elf that committed evil acts if all other avenues were exhausted. When a
Villager does the same, he is questioned. Why?

I think Olethros is a parallel to us in some ways. He is an example of all that
the creed warns us against. He is willing to give up walking in the Light to
pursue his goal. We would praise him if that single-minded fury was against our
foes, I think. It bothers me immensely, and I worry about speaking out because
everyone is so focused on their own hurt. Why doesn't anyone think of the hurt
he experienced to get him to this point?

He is lonely. Vodette is lonely. I am lonely. So many in Thera are lonely and
focused on wars and grudges. I am starting to wonder if loneliness and neglect
can be healed at all. Can I redeem those who have slid from the path
righteousness in utter silence? We often talk of how evil whispers and quietly
beckons us towards the path of ruination. I am starting to wonder if our own
inability to empathize with the lonely souls around us is another way that evil
triumphs.

I will keep trying. I must.

Role

Chapter 6

Flaws and the Unending War for the Light
Added Mon Aug 31 19:31:01 2020 at level 51:

A journal entry in which Cedany reflects upon her completion of Einoh's task and
her path forward in service to the Light.

---

I have challenged both Rarywey and Ariendil to confront their flaws. It was
tremendously difficult to find significant flaws that would lead them towards
righteousness. For Ariendil, I asked him to write a letter to himself -
forgiving himself for the past that he fixates on with such intensity. I also
requested that he wrote a letter to those that he hurt, as he might not ever be
able to confront them face to face, as he wishes. I hope that this allows him to
accept himself fully - so that he can better serve others. I do not expect him
to give up his search for forgiveness, but I hope he can accept that he is not
solely to blame.

Rarywey's flaw was more difficult. She acted with good intent in her heart, but
she promised me she would never lie to me again and promised it rather hastily.
I asked her to reflect upon the nature of morality as well as the consequences
of the lie of omission that she committed. While her promise was genuine and
righteous, I feel she needed to more deeply understand the context and examine
her intentions. I do not think she meant to hurt me.

Beyond that, the nature of the battle for the Light confounds me as well as a
few squires. Countless have come before me and Light willing, many generations
will come after. I feel that my work to find in-roads and commonalities between
myself and others of all walks is even more vital. How long will this war go on
for? I have started to write an outline, but my talk with Lady Ishuli made me
reconsider my approach. If it is simply a book of reflections, anecdotes, and
lessons learned, I will be accused of being an arrogant and out of touch elf. If
it is more analytical, I might come off as cold and heartless. I must decide
between the two. I do not care if my life's work sits unread. If we wish to
change Thera for the better perhaps I can start by chronicling these events for
future generations. I cannot allow these musings - be they right or wrong - to
die with me.

Role

Chapter 5

Failed goals, confusion, and conflict
Added Tue Aug 25 16:55:01 2020 at level 51:

A journal entry where Cedany reflects upon all her goals and those she has
recently met - including evil shapeshifters and Morius.

...

I thought it would be simple. Five simple goals.

Join the Fortress. Reflect on Einoh's tenets. Preach the word of my faith.
Protect the Maran and heal them when able. Do the most good that I can for those
that need my help.

When did it become so complicated? Was it always this complicated? I have been
trying to pursue my path of speaking to all that I meet and trying to understand
them. I *know* that we are not all that different, I must simply figure out how.

There was an orc at the tavern who was as well spoken as any elf. He can't get
into Galadon while horrid necromancers and other evil beings do. Of course, my
kin were not so sympathetic to his cause. Then I met with the evil shifter
Vodette after she hunted me. She told me she was lonely and we journeyed
together for a time. I'm lonely too. Now Morius seeks only to annoy me and pull
me from my path. Part of me fears that it could work. It is nice to be spoken to
and to feel wanted. It would be so simple to just give up on all those goals.
I'm not exactly meeting them to the standard I set for myself. Instead, I have
managed to drag Rarywey and Aynwinria into my mess. I do not think my brothers
and sisters in the Fortress hate me for speaking to the ones that I do, but I
worry their patience will wear thin. Is any of this bringing honor to the Light?
This path towards morality feels like a mire that I cannot stop myself from
wading into.

Most of all, dear diary, my secret truth is this: I don't want to have goals
anymore, they are choking me.

Role

Chapter 4

In memoriam
Added Thu Aug 20 03:59:22 2020 at level 47:

I do not know what to think. I am hollow. Rarywey fears the same as I do - that
Gristal truly did take his own life. While he said he was evil at the very end -
along with a number of other regrettable things, I cannot help but feel a
profound sense of loss. I saw how he struggled and how he suffered from his
past. He wished to build the orphanage so that he could see whether or not
children were a product of their environments. I believe that statement to be
more telling than I initially thought. He was not musing on the concept simply
for the sake of inquiry. I think he wished to know in order to see if what
happened to him could be prevented.

This day is so awfully bleak. Is that the true nature of evil? Is that part of
Einoh's truth? I was lucky enough to be born as an elf, surrounded by the Light
and kin who cared for me. Perhaps many of those that are evil are simply molded
by their circumstances. I cannot say with certainty that I would not turn to
hate if I was enslaved as he was. I am sure that not all evil follows this
pattern, but it is an disconcerting notion. How do I heal wounds that run
through memories? How do I heal a lack of trust? How do I ease pain that echoes
through one's body until they wrap themselves up in spite?

Perhaps I will find out in time. For now, I am even more resolved to build the
orphanage than I was before. I also wish to examine evil from a different lens.
I must expand the definition beyond apathy and anger - I wish to understand
the evil that stems from neglect.

Role

Chapter 3

Reflections on joining the Fortress
Added Wed Aug 19 15:29:17 2020 at level 42:

Much has occurred since I last wrote in this journal. I have tried to reflect
often, but I find my mind and body harried with the demands of adventuring. I
must take more time to focus inward - and I will be more protective of that time
going forward.

I have joined the Fortress as a scribe after speaking to the Elder Prophet. I
believe the protection of the Light will aid me in my path to pursuing goodness,
though I will need to find a balance between my duties as a scribe and my path
as an adherent. Aynwinria has managed it well, and she inspires me to be better.
I have learned that I do not need to place pieces of my life into separate boxes
- I must weave the disparate parts together.

Aynwinria and I also spoke of Einoh's task. She is a good listener and I am glad
that the Fortress is filled with so many of the faithful. She could have easily
judged me for the evil and apathy I hold in my heart but she only listened. I
suppose she has learned Einoh's lessons well on her path.

I must also learn the ways of combat. I managed to escape the ire of a Druid
only to fall to a Reaver within my own guild when my mind was focused inward. I
will train with the Maran - perhaps Vaeri, to ensure that I am ready to confront
those who would stop me in my efforts to heal and defend the Light.

Skill List

Level 1	flail	86%
Level 1	mace	100%
Level 1	staff	99%
Level 1	whip	100%
Level 1	recall	100%
Level 1	first aid	92%
Level 2	improved compare	100%
Level 2	improved consider	100%
Level 2	beseech	81%
Level 6	meditation	100%
Level 7	shield block	100%
Level 10	fast healing	100%
Level 10	taletell	73%
Level 10	pen	100%
Level 11	inspect goods	1%
Level 11	discharge	66%
Level 12	assess	100%
Level 13	hand to hand	100%
Level 13	scribe	73%
Level 14	cease fighting	70%
Level 15	kick	100%
Level 15	mix	94%
Level 16	parry	100%
Level 16	trance	100%
Level 17	haggle	90%
Level 17	nap	99%
Level 17	artistry	100%
Level 18	pugil	82%
Level 19	lash	79%
Level 20	attune	1%
Level 21	toss	70%
Level 23	light armor use	100%
Level 24	second attack	100%
Level 30	careful vision	99%
Level 35	legendary awareness	80%

Statistics

Experience Breakdown

Experience from Cabal raiding	7200
Experience from Skill improvements	5590
Experience from Exploration	21725
Experience from Quests	23575
Experience from Commerce	5100
Experience from Immortals	2900
Experience from Observation	30110

Adventuring Statistics

Character Created	Tue Aug 11 15:28:20 2020
Quests Completed	21
Exploration Points Found	68
(WANTED) Criminal	2 times
Murder	1 times
Theft	0 times
Looting	0 times
Offensive of Harmful Powers	0 times
Aiding a Known Criminal	1 times
Assaulting the Spire	0 times
Attacking Guildguards	0 times
Other	0 times
Thickening the Veil	0 items for 0
Thinning the Veil	0 items for 0
Hours spent at Hero	719 hours
% of lifetime in the wilderness	27 %
% of lifetime in the cities	11 %
% of lifetime in the Inn of the Eternal Star	37 %
% of lifetime caballed	51 %

Cabal Specifics

Cabal Statistics

# of logins with their cabal item	171
# of logins without their cabal item	8
# of logouts with their cabal item	160
# of logouts without their cabal item	11
# of times they lost their cabal item	9
# of times they retrieved their cabal item	1
# of times they took another cabal item	10

Edges

Flaws

Racial Edges

Shining Soul

Class Edges

Rapid Response
Awakened Spirit
Diagnostician's Insight
Soul Fortress

Edges

Girded Shield
Remedy Pestilence
Remedy Toxins
Preacher
Resurgent Vitality

Mob Deaths

Aug 12, 2020|Lv 1 |Ruins of Delar-Tol|a talshidar guard by pierce
Aug 15, 2020|Lv 23|Pine Forest|a dire wolf by bite
Aug 16, 2020|Lv 24|Tiamat's Lair|a wickedly barbed white abishai by smash
Aug 17, 2020|Lv 32|Underdark|a dark-elf patroller by hit
Aug 17, 2020|Lv 36|Crystal Island|a jagged crystal by hit
Aug 18, 2020|Lv 36|Mount Kiadana-Rah|the Crystalline dragon by piercing cold
Aug 19, 2020|Lv 40|Ruins of Maethien|a misty Nightwalker by claw
Aug 21, 2020|Lv 51|Ruins of Maethien|a large Nightwalker by claw
Aug 31, 2020|Lv 51|The Blue Lair|a carnivorous plant by rending rake
Aug 31, 2020|Lv 51|Island of Corte|the sergeant by slice
Sep 2, 2020 |Lv 51|The White Lair|a frost giant adept by icy needle
Sep 7, 2020 |Lv 51|The Black Lair|a half-black dragon orc berserker by slice
Sep 8, 2020 |Lv 51|Ayr'Trinil, the Arial City|a monstrous skyflash by slice
Sep 12, 2020|Lv 51|The Green Lair|an enormous shambling mound by smash
Sep 22, 2020|Lv 51|Coral Palace|the royal triton wizard by magic
Oct 14, 2020|Lv 51|Enpolad's Game Garden|the warrior in Enpolad's entourage by burst of energy
Oct 14, 2020|Lv 51|Ruins of Maethien|a small Nightwalker by claw
Oct 16, 2020|Lv 51|Tiamat's Lair|Tiamat by hit
Nov 1, 2020 |Lv 51|Eil Shaeria|a vale ghast by bite
Nov 3, 2020 |Lv 51|The Blue Lair|a carnivorous plant by crush
Nov 10, 2020|Lv 51|The Black Lair|a tangling net of swamp moss by smash

Timeline

Fri Aug 14 04:09:42 2020 at level 20 (16 hrs):
Cedany advanced to level 20 <PK: 0-0>

Sat Aug 15 21:02:03 2020 at level 22 (20 hrs):
Empowered by Einoh <PK: 0-0>

Sun Aug 16 19:54:55 2020 at level 30 (33 hrs):
Cedany advanced to level 30 <PK: 0-0>

Mon Aug 17 05:19:39 2020 at level 36 (35 hrs):
Inducted into FORTRESS by Aynwinria <PK: 0-0>

Tue Aug 18 20:35:46 2020 at level 40 (49 hrs):
Cedany advanced to level 40 <PK: 0-0>

Thu Aug 20 20:00:20 2020 at level 51 (69 hrs):
Cedany advanced to level 51 <PK: 0-1>

Wed Aug 26 15:05:11 2020 at level 51 (112 hrs):
Padwei made Cedany an Acolyte <PK: 0-4>

Sat Sep 19 15:36:01 2020 at level 51 (308 hrs):
Padwei made Cedany a Scribe <PK: 0-9>

Sat Sep 19 17:31:35 2020 at level 51 (308 hrs):
Inducted into None by Padwei <PK: 0-9>

Tue Sep 22 05:55:48 2020 at level 51 (329 hrs):
Cedany has pledged to the Heralds of the Eternal Star <PK: 0-10>

Mon Oct 5 09:00:09 2020 at level 51 (383 hrs):
Inducted into HERALD by Daphedee <PK: 0-11>

Thu Oct 8 20:21:49 2020 at level 51 (407 hrs):
Einoh has set edge preacher for Cedany. <PK: 0-11>

Leveling History

Aug 12, 2020 |Lv 2 |Hr 5 |
Aug 12, 2020 |Lv 3 |Hr 5 |
Aug 12, 2020 |Lv 4 |Hr 5 |
Aug 12, 2020 |Lv 5 |Hr 7 |
Aug 12, 2020 |Lv 6 |Hr 7 |
Aug 13, 2020 |Lv 7 |Hr 9 |9 Skjarl,
Aug 13, 2020 |Lv 8 |Hr 10 |9 Skjarl,
Aug 13, 2020 |Lv 9 |Hr 10 |10 Skjarl, 5 Gorantil,
Aug 13, 2020 |Lv 10|Hr 10 |11 Skjarl, 6 Gorantil,
Aug 13, 2020 |Lv 11|Hr 12 |13 Tarathiel,
Aug 13, 2020 |Lv 12|Hr 12 |14 Tarathiel,
Aug 13, 2020 |Lv 13|Hr 12 |15 Tarathiel,
Aug 13, 2020 |Lv 14|Hr 13 |16 Tarathiel,
Aug 13, 2020 |Lv 15|Hr 13 |16 Tarathiel,
Aug 13, 2020 |Lv 16|Hr 13 |17 Tarathiel,
Aug 13, 2020 |Lv 17|Hr 15 |18 Tarathiel,
Aug 13, 2020 |Lv 18|Hr 15 |19 Tarathiel,
Aug 14, 2020 |Lv 19|Hr 17 |11 Quinley, 14 Skjarl,
Aug 14, 2020 |Lv 20|Hr 18 |14 Quinley, 17 Skjarl,
Aug 14, 2020 |Lv 21|Hr 19 |24 Tarathiel,
Aug 14, 2020 |Lv 22|Hr 19 |25 Tarathiel,
Aug 15, 2020 |Lv 23|Hr 23 |
Aug 15, 2020 |Lv 24|Hr 25 |18 Frondiza, 21 Tikkidy,
Aug 16, 2020 |Lv 25|Hr 29 |20 Vondersita, 20 Jendar,
Aug 16, 2020 |Lv 26|Hr 31 |31 Erinthet, 21 Frondiza,
Aug 16, 2020 |Lv 27|Hr 31 |32 Erinthet, 21 Frondiza,
Aug 16, 2020 |Lv 28|Hr 31 |22 Frondiza, 32 Erinthet,
Aug 16, 2020 |Lv 29|Hr 32 |23 Frondiza, 33 Erinthet,
Aug 16, 2020 |Lv 30|Hr 33 |24 Tikkidy, 25 Frondiza,
Aug 16, 2020 |Lv 31|Hr 34 |25 Tikkidy, 26 Frondiza,
Aug 16, 2020 |Lv 32|Hr 34 |27 Tikkidy, 27 Frondiza,
Aug 17, 2020 |Lv 33|Hr 36 |31 Frondiza, 30 Tikkidy,
Aug 17, 2020 |Lv 34|Hr 37 |31 Tikkidy, 33 Gristal,
Aug 17, 2020 |Lv 35|Hr 37 |32 Tikkidy, 34 Gristal,
Aug 17, 2020 |Lv 36|Hr 38 |39 Messaneia,
Aug 18, 2020 |Lv 37|Hr 51 |37 Tikkidy,
Aug 18, 2020 |Lv 38|Hr 51 |38 Tikkidy, 35 Ariendil,
Aug 18, 2020 |Lv 39|Hr 52 |39 Tikkidy, 36 Ariendil,
Aug 18, 2020 |Lv 40|Hr 52 |39 Tikkidy, 37 Ariendil,
Aug 19, 2020 |Lv 41|Hr 54 |40 Ariendil, 41 Tikkidy,
Aug 19, 2020 |Lv 42|Hr 55 |41 Ariendil, 42 Tikkidy,
Aug 20, 2020 |Lv 43|Hr 63 |37 Vaeri, 42 Ariendil,
Aug 20, 2020 |Lv 44|Hr 63 |38 Vaeri, 43 Ariendil,
Aug 20, 2020 |Lv 45|Hr 64 |40 Vaeri, 45 Ariendil,
Aug 20, 2020 |Lv 46|Hr 64 |46 Ariendil, 44 Garful,
Aug 20, 2020 |Lv 47|Hr 64 |47 Ariendil, 45 Garful,
Aug 20, 2020 |Lv 48|Hr 67 |51 Alendross, 45 Lycharad,
Aug 20, 2020 |Lv 49|Hr 68 |51 Alendross, 47 Lycharad,
Aug 20, 2020 |Lv 50|Hr 70 |48 Lycharad, 51 Maeneekoni,
Aug 20, 2020 |Lv 51|Hr 70 |50 Lycharad, 51 Maeneekoni,

PK Deaths

Aug 19, 2020|Lv 42|Voralian City|vs 1: <51> Khelic (100%, claw)
Aug 23, 2020|Lv 51|The Redhorn Mountains|vs 2: <50> Lokloq (26%, infernal power), <51> Zodslag (73%)
Aug 25, 2020|Lv 51|Northern Foothills|vs 1: <51> Maere (100%, telluric surge)
Aug 26, 2020|Lv 51|The Redhorn Mountains|vs 1: <51> Itzenxilaatl (100%, punch)
Aug 27, 2020|Lv 51|Fortress of Light|vs 1: <51> Zodslag (100%, digestion)
Sep 2, 2020 |Lv 51|The White Lair|vs 1: <51> Itzenxilaatl (100%, icy needle)
Sep 4, 2020 |Lv 51|The Lower Voralia's Tears|vs 2: <51> Gohrruk (20%), <51> Quanhest (79%, KB)
Sep 15, 2020|Lv 51|The Eastern Road|vs 2: <51> Terenthial (0%), <51> Sebenso (99%, cleave)
Sep 17, 2020|Lv 51|The Sea of Despair|Cedany drowned
Sep 17, 2020|Lv 51|The Inn of the Eternal Star|vs 1: <51> Sebenso (100%, caustic slime)
Sep 21, 2020|Lv 51|Udgaard|vs 1: <51> Sebenso (100%, cleave)
Sep 26, 2020|Lv 51|Voralian City|vs 1: <51> Zodslag (100%, pound)
Oct 13, 2020|Lv 51|Hamsah Mu'tazz|vs 1: <51> Itzenxilaatl (100%, poison)
Oct 15, 2020|Lv 51|Ayr'Trinil, the Arial City|vs 1: <51> Itzenxilaatl (100%, punch)
Oct 20, 2020|Lv 51|Voralian City|vs 1: <51> Neajess (100%, cleave)
Oct 22, 2020|Lv 51|The Sea of Despair|Cedany drowned
Oct 23, 2020|Lv 51|The Inn of the Eternal Star|vs 1: <51> Graevnik (100%, beating)
Nov 3, 2020 |Lv 51|High Lord's Keep|vs 1: <51> Itzenxilaatl (100%, )
Dec 1, 2020 |Lv 51|The Shadow Grove|vs 1: <51> Neajess (100%, burst of energy)

PK Wins

Sep 7, 2020 |Lv 51|The Tahril Mountains|Bamon vs 3: <51> Gnimos (37%, crush), <51> Cedany (10%), <51> Vondersita (52%)
Sep 13, 2020|Lv 51|The Redhorn Mountains|Saerha vs 2: <51> Cedany (0%), <51> Kayloren (100%, piercing cold)

Title History

Sat Aug 22 23:58:32 2020, level 51 (85 hrs):
Cedany Talandren the Affirmation of Life

Wed Aug 26 15:05:11 2020, level 51 (112 hrs):
Cedany Talandren the Affirmation of Life, Acolyte of the Golden Sun

Mon Oct 5 09:08:35 2020, level 51 (383 hrs):
Cedany Talandren the Affirmation of Life, Painter of the Eternal Star

Tue Nov 24 09:52:30 2020, level 51 (721 hrs):
Cedany Talandren the Artsy Chronicler of Engaging Intrigue, Painter of the Eternal Star

Best Set of Equipment

Best set of gear:

<worn on finger> a thin pale-golden ring
<worn on finger> (Invis) (Glowing) (Humming) the ring of fortitude
<worn around neck> a wooden hummingbird pendant
<worn around neck> a wooden hummingbird pendant
<worn on body> a dragon embroidered red coat
<worn on head> (Glowing) a silver coronet
<worn on face> a pair of black reading glasses
<worn on legs> (Glowing) a pair of sturdy wooden shinpads
<worn on feet> the boots of the Zephyr
<worn on hands> (Humming) a pair of delicate silver gloves
<worn on arms> (Glowing) a pair of gleaming diamond arm bands
<worn about body> an Eagle Embroidered Silk Robe
<worn about waist> (Glowing) (Humming) a thin belt engraved with arcane symbols
<worn around wrist> a thin silver bracelet
<worn around wrist> a thin silver bracelet
<mainhand wielded> (Invis) (Glowing) (Humming) a shining blue crystal
<held in hand> a serving of olive and artichoke tapenade with garlic and parsley spread over a slice of crispy bread

Supplication List

Supplication List

Level 1	mend wounds	100%
Level 2	detect consecration	75%
Level 2	soothe	80%
Level 3	create food	100%
Level 3	illuminate	77%
Level 4	sate	100%
Level 5	detect evil	96%
Level 5	detect good	97%
Level 5	rouse	82%
Level 6	create water	85%
Level 6	refresh	99%
Level 7	bless	85%
Level 7	cure blindness	90%
Level 8	detect invis	100%
Level 8	know alignment	83%
Level 8	protection	100%
Level 9	quench	100%
Level 10	cure poison	100%
Level 10	infravision	84%
Level 10	aegis	100%
Level 11	cure disease	96%
Level 11	gate	100%
Level 11	cure deafness	81%
Level 11	haven	78%
Level 12	remove curse	91%
Level 12	vitality	78%
Level 13	identify	100%
Level 13	protective shield	100%
Level 14	curse	86%
Level 15	invigorate	95%
Level 15	ardent faith	100%
Level 15	stalwart arm	100%
Level 16	calm	79%
Level 17	create spring	95%
Level 17	heal	100%
Level 18	unveiling	100%
Level 19	teleport	99%
Level 19	restoration	76%
Level 19	guiding hand	88%
Level 20	awaken	76%
Level 20	antipathy	72%
Level 21	sanctuary	100%
Level 22	spirit shepherd	77%
Level 23	prayer	100%
Level 24	cancellation	76%
Level 25	cleanse	100%
Level 26	pass door	100%
Level 27	word of recall	100%
Level 28	turn undead	91%
Level 29	frenzy	100%
Level 29	spiritual salve	100%
Level 30	swiftness	100%
Level 31	healing sleep	100%
Level 32	remove paralysis	83%
Level 33	group teleport	80%
Level 34	purity of blood	88%
Level 35	mass healing	100%
Level 35	sanctify room	90%

Level 36	purity of flesh	100%
Level 37	blade barrier	100%
Level 38	purity of mind	84%
Level 42	divine bond	100%
Level 43	rejuvenate	100%
Level 45	lifeshield	87%
Level 47	bulwark of faith	100%
Level 48	soul citadel	100%
Level 51	miraculous foresight	99%

PK Statistics

PK Statistics

Total PK Wins	0 (0 at level 51)
Total PK Losses	17
Total Mob Deaths	20

PK Wins by Class

PK Wins by Cabal

PK Wins by Align
VS. Good	0
VS. Neutral	0
VS. Evil	0

PK Deaths by Class
VS. warrior	4
VS. anti-paladin	2
VS. necromancer	5
VS. druid	1
VS. berserker	3
VS. shapeshifter	2

PK Deaths by Cabal
VS. None	6
VS. ENTROPY	2
VS. OUTLANDER	2
VS. BATTLE	1
VS. EMPIRE	3
VS. SCION	3

PK Deaths by Align
VS. Good	0
VS. Neutral	0
VS. Evil	17

PK Gank-O-Meter

PK Gank-O-Meter

Total PK Wins	0
Total PK Assists	2
Solo PKs	0
PKs with a group of 2	1
PKs with a group of 3	1
PKs with a group of 4+	0
Average Group Size Per Kill	2.50

Death's Gank-O-Meter says: Faceless Herd Member

Total PK Losses	17
Solo PK Losses	14
PK Losses to a group of 2	3
PK Losses to a group of 3	0
PK Losses to a group of 4+	0
Average Group Size Per Death	1.18

Death's Ganked-O-Meter says: Destroyed By The Honorbound

Immortal Comments

Mon Oct 19 10:11:50 2020 by 'An Immortal' at level 51 (467 hrs):
An Immortal added 400 exp for: Role update about finding our place in Herald and how we can still represent the Light in that capacity.

Mon Oct 19 14:25:05 2020 by 'An Immortal' at level 51 (470 hrs):
An Immortal added 100 exp for: Bothering to give out gold to each and every orphan is pretty charming.

Tue Oct 20 16:31:51 2020 by 'An Immortal' at level 51 (480 hrs):
An Immortal added 100 exp for: Put up with some pretty intense tormenting that hopefully answered some of her questions about Rahsael.

Mon Oct 26 12:39:40 2020 by 'An Immortal' at level 51 (515 hrs):
An Immortal added 50 exp for: More torment from Ash the Child

Tue Oct 27 08:51:00 2020 by 'An Immortal' at level 51 (520 hrs):
An Immortal added 400 exp for: Role update about struggles with Rahsael, and the relationships we've lost or not been forthcoming about.

Tue Oct 27 20:45:20 2020 by 'An Immortal' at level 51 (525 hrs):
An Immortal added 50 exp for: For participating in the Battlerager event and madness that ensued.

Fri Oct 30 21:11:05 2020 by 'An Immortal' at level 51 (546 hrs):
An Immortal added 100 exp for: Per Rarywey - Putting on the Spooky Story event

Mon Nov 2 19:34:14 2020 by 'An Immortal' at level 51 (569 hrs):
An Immortal added 200 exp for: A long but brilliant discussion with Ariendil, myself, and Arfinol.

Tue Nov 3 08:11:02 2020 by 'An Immortal' at level 51 (575 hrs):
An Immortal added 400 exp for: We are old... but we dont want to fall into despair so we are reaffirming our commitment to what we want to do in life and the light.

Sun Nov 8 10:22:05 2020 by 'An Immortal' at level 51 (611 hrs):
An Immortal added 100 exp for: Thoughtful RP with Boldr.

Mon Nov 9 09:31:30 2020 by 'An Immortal' at level 51 (620 hrs):
An Immortal added 400 exp for: Role update about being lonely.

Mon Nov 9 11:33:41 2020 by 'Rahsael' at level 51 (621 hrs):
Given a custom long description for winning the Player's Choice contest.

Fri Nov 13 11:38:08 2020 by 'An Immortal' at level 51 (648 hrs):
An Immortal added 50 exp for: For art!

Mon Nov 16 13:52:45 2020 by 'An Immortal' at level 51 (675 hrs):
An Immortal added 100 exp for: For putting up with crazy Gaspare, who mistook you for Daphedee.

Mon Nov 16 21:49:37 2020 by 'An Immortal' at level 51 (679 hrs):
An Immortal added 800 exp for: Reflections on her interactions with Daphedee and Gaspare and what she learned from them.

Tue Nov 17 10:27:29 2020 by 'An Immortal' at level 51 (681 hrs):
An Immortal added 100 exp for: We spoke long of goodness and a mysterious ritual. Do what is right, and be wary of those who deceive you, as evil likes to conceal itself always. We did not talk much of your Herald ongoings.

Immortal Comments

Sat Sep 19 15:36:47 2020 by 'Padwei' at level 51 (308 hrs):
You decided to throw prayers and sanctuary on Maere because you were frustrated by a gnome vindicator, but Maere is SO EVIL. Time for you to consider it as a scribe.

Sat Sep 19 17:32:32 2020 by 'Padwei' at level 51 (308 hrs):
Uninducted at her request.

Tue Sep 22 02:23:50 2020 by 'An Immortal' at level 51 (326 hrs):
An Immortal added 400 exp for: Goofed by retrieving with Maere. Very down on ourself. Lonely. Our stumbling block is an inability to deny others aid, because they might dislike us. Visited Rahs's shrine and talked to Maeneekoni.

Wed Sep 23 20:14:26 2020 by 'An Immortal' at level 51 (341 hrs):
An Immortal added 50 exp for: A short conversation where you were surprisingly open to sin, how naughty. I'll take advantage of that.

Thu Sep 24 20:55:04 2020 by 'An Immortal' at level 51 (350 hrs):
An Immortal added 150 exp for: A long talk we had, but a good one, I am sorry for making it drag out. But it was important to me, and I greatly enjoyed it.

Thu Sep 24 20:55:36 2020 by 'Einoh' at level 51 (350 hrs):
You were surly, but we spoke about how goodness is not necessarily just condemnation. That understanding is not an evil, while ignoring things may be. Remember that evil is sometimes kind, yet is evil all the same.

Thu Oct 1 14:12:40 2020 by 'An Immortal' at level 51 (374 hrs):
An Immortal added 400 exp for: Doing a lot of soul-searching after leaving Fortress. Sins are laid bare. Will seek Herald, and contempalte how to "do good" in that context.

Mon Oct 5 15:41:14 2020 by 'An Immortal' at level 51 (385 hrs):
An Immortal added 100 exp for: We had a good talk. You agreed Undead are different than normal darkness. We reasoned contests are not evil, and that Ariendil and the Squire are perhaps both right in a way.

Wed Oct 7 10:09:09 2020 by 'An Immortal' at level 51 (396 hrs):
An Immortal added 25 exp for: for RPing with me in Galadon.

Thu Oct 8 21:32:42 2020 by 'Einoh' at level 51 (408 hrs):
Your long-lived love of notes has lead me to give you the Preacher edge. I hope you enjoy it.

Tue Oct 13 20:54:02 2020 by 'An Immortal' at level 51 (439 hrs):
An Immortal added 100 exp for: Interaction with Narra.

Wed Oct 14 22:29:56 2020 by 'An Immortal' at level 51 (446 hrs):
An Immortal added 50 exp for: Some interaction with Leuoa and I in the Inn. Appropriately huffy about me trying to strangle her deity.

Thu Oct 15 12:24:11 2020 by 'An Immortal' at level 51 (450 hrs):
An Immortal added 200 exp for: For a fun chat in the Temple where she showed me her work of paintings. Keep up the good (painting) work!

Immortal Comments

Mon Oct 19 10:11:50 2020 by 'An Immortal' at level 51 (467 hrs):
An Immortal added 400 exp for: Role update about finding our place in Herald and how we can still represent the Light in that capacity.

Mon Oct 19 14:25:05 2020 by 'An Immortal' at level 51 (470 hrs):
An Immortal added 100 exp for: Bothering to give out gold to each and every orphan is pretty charming.

Tue Oct 20 16:31:51 2020 by 'An Immortal' at level 51 (480 hrs):
An Immortal added 100 exp for: Put up with some pretty intense tormenting that hopefully answered some of her questions about Rahsael.

Mon Oct 26 12:39:40 2020 by 'An Immortal' at level 51 (515 hrs):
An Immortal added 50 exp for: More torment from Ash the Child

Tue Oct 27 08:51:00 2020 by 'An Immortal' at level 51 (520 hrs):
An Immortal added 400 exp for: Role update about struggles with Rahsael, and the relationships we've lost or not been forthcoming about.

Tue Oct 27 20:45:20 2020 by 'An Immortal' at level 51 (525 hrs):
An Immortal added 50 exp for: For participating in the Battlerager event and madness that ensued.

Fri Oct 30 21:11:05 2020 by 'An Immortal' at level 51 (546 hrs):
An Immortal added 100 exp for: Per Rarywey - Putting on the Spooky Story event

Mon Nov 2 19:34:14 2020 by 'An Immortal' at level 51 (569 hrs):
An Immortal added 200 exp for: A long but brilliant discussion with Ariendil, myself, and Arfinol.

Tue Nov 3 08:11:02 2020 by 'An Immortal' at level 51 (575 hrs):
An Immortal added 400 exp for: We are old... but we dont want to fall into despair so we are reaffirming our commitment to what we want to do in life and the light.

Sun Nov 8 10:22:05 2020 by 'An Immortal' at level 51 (611 hrs):
An Immortal added 100 exp for: Thoughtful RP with Boldr.

Mon Nov 9 09:31:30 2020 by 'An Immortal' at level 51 (620 hrs):
An Immortal added 400 exp for: Role update about being lonely.

Mon Nov 9 11:33:41 2020 by 'Rahsael' at level 51 (621 hrs):
Given a custom long description for winning the Player's Choice contest.

Fri Nov 13 11:38:08 2020 by 'An Immortal' at level 51 (648 hrs):
An Immortal added 50 exp for: For art!

Mon Nov 16 13:52:45 2020 by 'An Immortal' at level 51 (675 hrs):
An Immortal added 100 exp for: For putting up with crazy Gaspare, who mistook you for Daphedee.

Mon Nov 16 21:49:37 2020 by 'An Immortal' at level 51 (679 hrs):
An Immortal added 800 exp for: Reflections on her interactions with Daphedee and Gaspare and what she learned from them.

Tue Nov 17 10:27:29 2020 by 'An Immortal' at level 51 (681 hrs):
An Immortal added 100 exp for: We spoke long of goodness and a mysterious ritual. Do what is right, and be wary of those who deceive you, as evil likes to conceal itself always. We did not talk much of your Herald ongoings.

Role

Chapter 1

About Cedany
Added Tue Aug 11 22:18:52 2020 at level 1:

Cedany considers herself an adherent of Einoh, though she has yet to
visit his temple. Her dedication to the sphere of revelation is partially
manifested in her habit of writing down nearly all that she experiences,
for better or worse. While she often claims that she will review her own
musings, she rarely does, and her journals serve more as a diary than any
sort of scholarly record.

Her journey to follow Einoh's tenets has not been as simple as she had
hoped. Fifteen years ago, in an attempt to help a new settler to Voralian
City, Cedany only managed to anger the female human she purchased food
and temporary lodgings for. After listening to a scathing rant on the
supposed 'pissing contests of helpfulness' that the woman claimed her
elven kin engaged in, Cedany was left to wander the city alone. She asked
herself many questions surrounding that night, and has yet to find
answers to all but the most trivial of inquiries. In truth, she knows
that the woman was lonely and lashing out, but that doesn't stop the
torrent of self doubt that urges her back to the forest, to focus on the
simple acts of goodness. such as healing and helping her own kin first.

Now, with over a decade of time passing since that moment, Cedany is
seeking to find her place in the world. Does she fit into the faith she
aligns herself with? Does helping individuals truly matter? Will all her
accomplishments be forgotten in favor of those who changed the world in
earnest? Why is the nature of 'goodness' so elusive?