nt

December 2008 Role Contest
Entries: 42 (2 deleted at time of reading)

Winners:

I rated everyone on a 100 point scale. Zero is total crap, 50 is average and
100 is the perfect role.

1st place Serth

2nd Place Sirfalas

Tie break by me

3rd Unalethekai

Runners up:

Lahaan, Rowayn, Stiggan

Artinian - (65) This is a very well written role, and I think the style of
the writting gives flair to an otherwise bland content. The character is set
up for a big task, and hopefully will be able to pull everything off through
some nice role play.

Bedekleae - (60) A nice light tale with some humor thrown in, always fun to
read those. That being said, its just not something I'd pick out to be a
winner.

Boldinrok - (40) Some formatting would be nice on this one. It's a perfectly
acceptable role for this character, but out of them all it's just about
average.

Ceyraia - (55) This is a nice opening background story, but it doesn't tell
me much about the character and the future of the character. I think with
some updates, this could really fill out into a nice role.

Chermingn - (65) This is a very nice background story with some great
imagery. I did, however, notice two strange name discrepancies within the
role. While it's a nice story, it still seems very unfinished.

Cielandaicyl - (70) I really enjoyed all of the various dream sequences, and
the great imagery placed into the role. I think it's a still a bit choppy,
and could probably use a chapter to tie everything together.


Dhrayve - (40) Quick and to the point. This is obviously unfinished, and as
of now it's petty average for a role.

Felvix - (40) This simply doesn't have anything that calls out to me, and I
don't really see it developing the character map very much (other than he's
a crazy evil guy, aren't they all?).

Ferlynn - (70) This was a pretty interesting story line, and I'll look
forward to seeing future chapters. The only complaint that I would have with
this, is it seems the character is so far ahead from the entries. Most of
this reads as if it is more background than future ambitions or complex
details of the character map.

Gravan - (75) I enjoyed this role because it is well written, concise and it
develops the character map well. Great job.

Gralbin - (65) This is a pretty good role, and it lays out the character map
well enough. It just didn't grab me as a winner.

Haidoril - (65) I really enjoyed the style of the first chapter, but the last
two did not reflect the same style. This is a perfectly acceptable role for
the character, but it's simply not one that stands out as a winner to me.

Hamasou - (50) This is a perfectly fine, average role. There's just not any
unique character quirks in there or details of the character map to make this
one stand out.

Hask - (60) I sort of feel like the various chapters are about different
characters, there's not a lot connecting the first two to the last few.
There's some great imagery in here, so that pushes it above just an average
role, but it simply doesn't stick out as a winner.

Iegob - (70) I really enjoyed how this role demonstrated the nature of the
character, particularly his feeble mindedness. I was a little disappointed at
how rushed the ambitions of the character were compared to the drawn out
background story, it almost reads as if the chapter covering the character's
future was taken out of a different role.

Ifran - (45) This is a perfectly acceptable average role, but it lacks the
dynamic to stand out in a role contest.

Ilvakihj - (50) There just aren't any great character quirks or fine details
of the character map to make this role stand out.

Iobi - (60) Looking over the background, I think a different sphere choice
would have been better for this role play. The story sets up the main concept
of the character nicely, but I think it's simply not rich enough to stick out
as a winner here.

Irhedieh - Deleted

Jahfenar - (65) I really liked the opening to this role, and the whole thing
is very well written. It seems unfinished, and I think some updates are in
order to fill out the full character map.

Jenniv - Deleted

Korin - (60) I didn't really feel like this filled out the character map well
in regards to religion and sphere choice. A perfectly acceptable role and
even nearly poetic at times, but not a winner here.

Lahaan - (80) This might not be the best display of what the English language
has to offer, but I did enjoy the unique story, and I think it fills out the
past and future of the character well. Good job.

Lhirul - (60) Concise roles are always nice for quick reading to know how a
character is doing on a day to day basis, but this one just seemed too rushed
as well as unfinished.

Luggbok - (40) This is a pretty basic role for this type of character, and
there's not any flare here to put it above average.

Nererial - (50) This is also a pretty basic role for this type of character,
and the regression into more information about the earlier years was a little
strange.

Proleteria - (70) The light ironic comedy in this role is worth at least a
small laugh, and it definitely gives the package a boost up. Still, it's not
a winner.

Quigiliiz - (60) There's a lot in this role about the specific personality of
the character, but there isn't anything about the main parts of the character
(ambitions towards cabal, class choice etc.).

Roawyn - (80) I really enjoyed how the true personality of the character came
through in this role (even if I might not really like that type of
personality). I think the style of the role was the best choice for this type
of character. There's still some things missing from the character map, but
it's a great start.

Serth - (90) Well written with some great imagery thrown in. The main points
of the character map are covered, and I can't find any large complaints here
other than originality. Well done.

Sertius - (40) I didn't feel like the character map was well filled out and
there wasn't a strong story line to put this one above average.

Sirfalas - (85) I really enjoyed how this story gave an awesome sense of
discovery. My only complaint would be that the character map isn't complete, but
well done just the same.


Skur - (50) This role strikes me as a basic story-line for most characters
with this type of map. Not a lot here to push it above average.

Stiggan - (80) This is a really nice unique concept, and I like how it played
out in the upbringing of the character. That being said, I thought the
background story was a little too wordy for what needed to be said, and the
character map is still pretty unfinished. Great job just the same.

Sulsaye - (50) Nice average role for the type of character, but there's
simply not a lot of depth into the character map or strong story line to let
it stand with the winners.

Tilarkas - (65) I had a little trouble following the background story of
this character, that I needed to read the whole thing twice. It's obvious
that the author spent some time working on this one, but I just don't see it
standing out as a winner.

Unalethekai - (85) While this might not be the most enticing story line, the
role is light, well written and it fills out the character map perfectly. The
only complaint I would have, is I don't really care for the injection of OOC
comments. There's only one glaring one in this entire role, but it is still
glaring.

Vaessa - (50) The role has a nice quick background story, but it's still just
a background story with one chapter about a more recent event. The character
map is lacking, so I see it as just being average.

Valdora - (70) I really liked how the personality of the character came
through in the story. Still it lacks some originality, and the proper use of
paragraphs would be nice.

Wilheim - (65) It would have been good to know a bit more about the
character's ambitions and future, rather than so much background. This is
still a perfectly acceptable role.

Xazier - (40) I think the character map is a little lacking, so it's about an
average role.

Zahlahk - (70) I liked how the background of the character continued on into
the current events of the character, that's not something a lot of people
keep in a role (oddly enough). The content was a little bland, but the basic
character map is filled out well. Just not a winner this time.

Stats:

ALIGNMENT:
Good 20
Evil 14
Neutral 7

ETHOS:
Chaotic 23
Neutral 9
Orderly 9



SPHERES:

Earth () Air () Fire (2) Water ()
Spirit (1) Para-elements () Storms (3) Seasons ()
Death (4) Fertility () Magic (2) Reason ()
Truth () Vivimancy () Revelation () Music ()
Healing () Protection (3) Creation (1) Mercy ()
Strength (3) Poetry (1) Deception (1) Necromancy ()
Concealment () Courage (4) Victory () Destruction (2)
Rage () Combat (5) Order () Peace ()
Chaos (1) War (1) Balance () Fate ()
Honor (1) Dedication () Wisdom () Knowledge ()
Purity (3) Greed (1) Justice () Judgment ()
Love () Vanity () Beauty () Passion ()
Anger (1) Covetousness () Envy () Gluttony ()
Lust () Pride (1) Sloth () Honesty ()



CLASS:

Anti-Paladin 1
Assassin 5
Bard 1
Conjurer 2
Druid 1
Healer 1
Invoker 1
Necromancer
Paladin 5
Ranger 2
Shaman 3
Shapeshifter 4
Thief 1
Transmuter 2
Warrior 12



RACE:

Arial 3
Cloud Giant 2
Dark-elf 5
Duergar
Dwarf 1
Elf 8
Felar 2
Fire Giant 2
Gnome
Half-Drow 1
Half-Elf 1
Human 8
Minotaur
Orc
Storm Giant 5
Svirfnebli 1
Wood-Elf 2

CABAL:

Battle 5
Empire 1
Fortress 11
Herald
Nexus 1
None 16
Outlander 6
Scion
Tribunal

You repeatedly reference the "character map", in that some elements aren't provided, and so on and so forth.

Personally, I think I typically write above average roles, but I honestly have no idea what you're referring to here. Would you mind elaborating? I'm sure it'd help out quite a few players (myself included) with writing some more useful roles to the folks upstairs.

First, I'll just give the disclaimer that role contests are subjective, someone else reading your or anyones might see it differently. Second, Roles aren't just about winning contests and getting rewards or even for imm enjoyment, they're for the player first. At least in my opinion, I find that if I have a role with the full character map that my experience with other players and my experience in game is greatly enhanced by my role play. So what's in a character map?

Just the basic questions. Where are you from? Who are your parents? What is your sphere and why (this is a big one)? What cabal are you wanting to go into if any at all and why? Are you going to follow a religion and why? What is your class and why, and if you have some sort of customization in that class and why? What is the general personality of the character and why? Does the character have any special quirks etc.? How does all of the above tie together, and how is it going to motivate the character's future? I can go on, but those are the basic questions that I believe a role should answer. These are also questions that when I am writing a role I make an outline with before I even write a single sentance.

I really think general background, sphere, religion, cabal and class should be covered for just an average role. When you start getting into more complex things like some nice personality traits and amitions, then that usually puts it more above average.

If you want anything specific about your role, feel free to e-mail me.

neltouda@carrionfields.com

It seems pretty simple when it's written down, but I guarantee most people don't really think too much about getting all that information down in the role.

Myself, personally I just tend to give a little background story, covering the key parts bringing me up to the present day 1 of the academy. Usually I cover all that info, but I think it was kind of by luck more than any intention.

Good info to keep in mind, though. Thank.

I'm not under the illusion that this is an award winning role. However, the specific feedback is useful and will probably affect my next role, when the time comes.