Yup. I worked it up just before the forums died, and since then my CF time has been going at the forums or the game itself.Anyway, here it is.As a preface, let me say that roles overall this time weren't bad.Roles we pulled into the inner circle were more basedon the ones we liked best than any flaws in the roles we didn't, inmost cases. Thus, take any commentary for what it isand not too personally. Probably commentary for some of the loserswill sound more favorable than some of the winners, andanyone who analyzes any of this too much is taking it all tooseriously and wasting their time.Aside to about 20 of you: Your entry note didn't include me, soyou're lucky you got judged. :PKhurga - The attempt to write this in a unique voice just didn't work for us.Jalenkan - Kind of interesting but very rambling. I just couldn't buy this character's motivations as making sense for elf Battle. Per Baer, you should have been sphere combat. Just sayin'.Ckath - Not great. There was just a lot more length of role thananything interesting going on here. Rayihn managed tofinish this one but I just couldn't summon the energy/interest to keep reading.Aleksarin - Could have used a little proofreading but overall this isa pretty original role presentation. Not that wehaven't seem roles vaguely of this form before, and not that it wasthe most original character idea we ever saw, but itdid a good job of being different enough to be interesting, yet believable.Etielise - Wow, that's original. We both liked this one a lot. Ipersonally thought this character maybe should be sphere Love, though. (Rayihn agrees and shakes her fist at you)Cyruil - You wrote 18 f'in chapters! Are you trying to kill me? Theupdates are a good play by play, though, and there'sclearly a lot of effort into this character's RP. I would havepreferred a role that held as much meaning in somewhat lesswords.Gabriella - A bit strangely formatted. The story of this character'sodd crossbreeding origins didn't do it for me.Hagart - Kind of interesting, not bad. I liked what you did with your religion choices/explanation. I wouldn't be shockedif this made the winners circle on another contest.Sessenerian - Deleted, so I didn't read it.Dragrahl - Deleted, so I didn't read it.Arathu - Wood elves are Celtic? Who knew? A nice start and kind ofinteresting but not a winner this time.Aarendehl - So we're an Amaranthe druid. Decently well written, but,eh, took a lot of words to not really say very muchabout the character.Teldasill - Needs more apostraphes. Some interesting ideas here butoverall I found it dense and hard to read. (Purely Rayihn comment:After reading 1000+ roles I can tell who you are by the writing style, and I'd like to say I've read MANY of your other roles and loved them, and this one paled a bit next to some of your other stand outs. Your writing style is a bit hard for me to read.)Duorlok - Not terrible, but fairly bland. We couldn't get excitedabout this one relative to some other entries.Inger - Battle cloud girl! I found the first chapter in accent hardto read but overall it's pretty good.Istdinen - Elf Yean Acolyte healer. This isn't bad, but there werestronger entries.Kayella - Deleted, so I didn't read it.Jil - This seems like the role for another character onlyhalf-heartedly recycled.Waris - Tres cliched. This really felt like a role written to try togain immXP, and reading it felt like work. Moving on!Jhengar - It's original, but all over the place and it's hard at times to discern what the point is. Similar ideas couldhave been a much better role with a little more focus.Deas - Despite the fact that it quotes Train, we actually enjoyed this role and found ourselves wanting to keep reading it. That right there pushed it into the winners circle.Jessitrai - Not extremely well written technically but prettyinteresting conceptually. We wished the role had managed tosay more for using as many words as it did.Deijnar - This started off really good, but it almost seemed like thesecond chapter was written by someone else. Overallit wasn't on the winner level for us.Galtholnicus - I liked this role, but, I found his motivation forbeing Battle a bit forced and hard to believe. It just seemed so much more thin and contrived than everything else in the story. Rayihn felt that something better could have been crafted out of thecharacter's sphere and some of the basic ideas here.Krugan - Kind of an interesting start but I'm not sure where it'sgoing. This had the kind of spark that often exists inroles we pick to win, but it just didn't quite get there against this competition.Leshene - Kind of an interesting Herald role. Good first chapter,decently well written. Past that chapter, it took a lotof entries to not say very much.Humbert - Vanilla, yet, overall good and we liked the updates. Also:17 chapters, are you also trying to kill me?Orunthaza - Blah blah blah goth blah blah blah emo blah blah eshvalblah blah. Improving the technical parts of thewriting style and breaking this up into paragraphs a bit betterprobably would have helped this one a lot. I'm not bashingthe ideas here, but it was just very hard to read.Naboueh - Unlike the 20 people who wrote a note to Baerinika but notto me, you wrote it to me and not to Baerinika. Because there were a lot more of those people and I didn't realizethere were any of you, I judged from her list and yougot screwed. Now that I read the role, it's actually pretty good.Hawa - Some interesting ideas, well written overall but not a lot ofmeat to be found.Teliel – You're a wood elf ranger outlander…journalist?? Jigga what?Ahtieli - Nice Empire necromancer role, kind of interesting, kind oftwisted. It made me want to keep reading to see where it was going to go next. English isn't so hot but I'm sure it's not your native tongue.Diskasii - Eh. I think I would have liked this role for caverangerbut I'm not loving it for a sha role. (Baer comment: Daevryn managed to read this one, I couldn't finish it)Derv - #### I like this role. Beyond that our commentary was approval of the nature of the character, which I won'tdiscuss in more depth here.Glordath - We sure like jaguars. Not badly written, just, I don'tknow. It doesn't set my pants on fire.Ashur - Writing was good, story doesn't really excite me.Aerlach - Deleted!Kehade - Average role. Nothing really wrong with it but also nothingthat we got excited about here.Jhailou - Rowr wild felar ranger not need apostraphes! Music. It was all right but not of a winner caliber in thiscontest.Pargtorix - Your motivation for hating magic doesn't seem believable to me. Eh.Osswyne - Paladins are also too holy for apostraphes. It's an okaystory but we weren't in love. I didn't really seepaladin from it. It's like, you told this story, and I felt adisconnect between it and how your character actually turnedout.Atherton - Deleted!Vormand - This is interesting, but the role didn't seem to go withwhat this character is class/etc.-wise. Maybe I'm not clever enough to get it.Bolrek - Fairly vanilla, didn't really say much about the character.Sekeda - Fairly generic role for this character's alignment/class/religion/etc.Grimatikos - Not badly written, but it didn't wow us. At times wequestioned what this role was trying to say.Etienne - D-elf A-P. Eh. Dark vanilla. Not bad, just not compelling or exciting compared to the competition.Nitch - Decent. We were pleasantly surprised as we kept reading. Iliked the character's relationship to his magic.Nothing wrong with this one, it just wasn't quite one of the stand-outs to us.Ruhktanshi - We liked this one; it made me wish I was a little moreambitious in crafting special rewards for the winnersthis time around, but, alas. It was the flaws and your treatment ofthem that put this role over the top for me.Zanarlok - Rambling, stream of consciousness role that doesn't seem to be saying much. Moving on!Ilmav - A good role start. I'm not sure if it was the quality of thewriting or what, but somehow this role just seemed tostand a bit above some other roles with similar elements.Hamdtrauk - Pretty good job summing up the character in one chapter,but not a winner this time around. I did think aboutpicking it just because it really is the kind of role I like to dealwith as a non-role-contest-running immortal, but itjust wasn't quite there for me.Sletren - Kind of a different role for this kind of character, not too bad.
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