Role

Chapter 2

As you know, dearest friend, it all availed nothing. I found your poor,
broken body one cold morning. Or what was left of it inside the floating
turds of that awful piranha. My shame knows no limit, for I could neither
save your life nor spare your remains this terrible indignity.

Tears poured from me like a mournful river. Without you, Finn, I was lost
like a little lone raft in the vast seas I'd learned synchronized swimming
in. And like the sea, my grief knows no end - but still I found a conviction
that spurs me on: the lawless must be brought to heel.

You see, I returned to the sheriff of Hillcrest to report your murder, and do
you know what he said? He said FISH DON'T COUNT. You can imagine my rage. But
I am a gnome of not only excellent rhythm and flexibility, I am also of
superior self-discipline, so I did not give in to emotion. Instead I made the
legal argument that if you were, as he stated, my property, then at a minimum
there was a charge of theft and destruction of property.

Then, he the sheriff made his most salient point. "This isn't a
protectorate," he said.

And that's when it all clicked.

You see Finn, your death, though tragic and heart breaking, will serve some
purpose. Perhaps it is too late now, but I have found my Courage, and I will
lend my newfound ranger skills to the Blood Tribunal. I will operate in
protectorates from now on. And I will bring watery doom to all those fish
hating savages of Thar-Eris!