It was not uncommon for me to get into a fist fight every weekend.

I had this odd way of looking at things back then. If someone "Dishonored" me, I would not back down from a fight. I would force them to fight me or give ground. I would never give ground even if I felt like I was about to get my ass handed to me.

It had a lot to deal with the way I viewed myself in the Role of an Infantryman. I thought it was important that I show my willingness to be the victor in any contest.

I used to train viciously back then. My Bag's even had wooden handle jump ropes on them that would flail around hard enough to egg my noggin if I was quick enough to duck.

I was an extremely brutal person. I don't recognize myself anymore to be honest.

Anyway, I wasn't civilianizing well, and I got into a Brawl of my own design with three guys and I got so badly injured I wasn't really that far from Convulsing. I had a bad concussion, and a back injury that still acts up. I was thinking to myself, But I got ONE of 'em and I didn't go down before the fight ended! and it occurred to me that I was hurt so ####ing bad that if I went to sleep I might not wake up. I started wondering if I didn’t have a fighting problem! =)

Anyway, My knuckles are scared from teeth, my own teeth are chipped and cracked, bones broke, arthritis in my right from hitting the bag to hard too often with out wraps.

The last illegal fight I was in was in 1998 or 1997 where I got into a brawl with one of my cooks. It was so bad and I was doing my thing that it scared a 17 year old girl who was like a little sister to me. Lost my job, lost her friendship, ended up in court.

I took an anger management course and it really opened up my eyes to how self destructive I really was. I never realized until then that anger let other people control me.

I've become a verbal boxer now and while my very profession gets me in tight spots I'm able to talk it down.

Aikido is a woman's art for the reasons you said.

No martial art makes you invincible and most don't even seem to make a person competitive when applied to any form other than it's own.