For the coffins...buy a coffin, carry the coffin, kill someone, put the body in the coffin and bury it. As the body is of course too heavy to actually lift up into your inventory, throw a command on it. Something like the carve command. Drop the coffin, then 'bury (corpse) coffin'. Of course you need a shovel and can't be on and rocky terrain or paved roads. Why? Maybe some people actually have respect for the dead. Maybe some people don't want any nasty liches coming along. Maybe some people want to be graverobbers. Just a thought.

Another thought, a brothel. Go drop some hard earned coin on some good old fashioned morale boosting. Of course, there should be a chance of a negative morale effect for those that can't quite perform their duties. Lag for services should be fairly minimal. If one tick is an hour, and about seven rounds or so is average per tick...say two rounds to be generous.