Sebenso Sharpeson the Priest of Gluttony, Anathema to the Empire

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Role

Chapter 8

Well, I am starting to think it will take a while to open. I started putting
seed money together using the coins I got from my temporary job running
errands, and some money I got from selling bits of armor I found. But then...

I WAS ACCOSTED BY RUFFIANS AND ROBBED!

Yes! Ruffians accosted me, diary! They were even worse than the stupid
butcher shop owner that wrongfully terminated me, because they actually
killed me. I would rather be fired than dead. What about you?

After that... I WAS ACCOSTED BY RUFFIANS AND ROBBED AGAIN!!

So, it became clear to me that I needed some protection if I was going to
keep from being accosted and robbed. I talked to a bard called Inacha, they
were a Sheathed Blade and suggested I take the bloodoath. That way, I would
have the protection of Order and Civilization and could open my shop in
peace.

Well, it didn't quite work out that way. If anything, I have been accosted
more. This has shown me the need to spread Order and Civilization. The Empire
is a place of laws where artists and tradespeople can practice their craft
without fear of being accosted. So, I have applied my butchering skills to
butchering people whose parts are still attached.

One thing kind of lead to another and THEN I BECAME THE WAR MASTER!

I'm not even kidding right now. I am actually the Imperial War Master. It is
a very esteemed position. And, because I am from a prestigious alma mater I
am doubly distinguished. Prestigious and esteemed!

I will still open my specialty steak shop but in the meantime, I hunger for
the flesh of these heathen ruffians. That is why I have also sought out the
god Morius, and became his supplicant.

Now I am religious, esteemed and prestigious. That's a lot of words that are
very easy for people to understand the meaning of - even if sometimes they
act like they can't.

I will write you when I become Emperor. Hope you have a great day. Bye.

Love,
Sebenso

Role

Chapter 7

*** This entry catches the story up to present day. ***

Dear Diary,

Hi, it's me, Sebenso. It has been a really long time since we talked. How
have you been? I have been very busy. I don't even know where to begin with
all that has happened! Life has been a whirlwind of blood and meat and I have
not had time to write to you. I am sorry. I hope you are good.

Anyways, what had happened was that I started out adventuring like I said I
was going to. I was (and still am) very pissed off about my wrongful
termination. It was so unfair. What kind of stupid butcher shop owner fires
his best employee over where he sources his meat? That's the stupidest thing
I've ever heard. What a shitshow.

I am sorry to talk about my wrongful termination again. I am just really
pee-owed.

Let's see. What next? Oh, right! I got a temporary job running errands. It
wasn't a long term thing like butchery, just something to pay the bills. You
can't get anywhere in life running errands. Still, it paid okay and had a
little jingle in my pocket to tide me over til I found my next place of
employment.

One day, I saw Rarywey the High Herald of the Eternal Star. I was very upset
about my wrongful termination (What a bastard that guy was, right?) so I
asked them if they would give me a drink and a friendly ear so that I could
drown my sorrows. It's just what a working stiff like me does. Little did I
know that's when everything would change.

Rarywey had a great idea. She suggested that I OPEN MY OWN BUTCHER SHOP!
Isn't that amazing?! Me with my own shop! I could source my meat wherever I
damn well please and no one would have anything to say about it. I have
decided I will call it "Sebenso's Specialty Steaks." That's a great name,
right?

Role

Chapter 6

I am going to go the adventuring academy's warrior guild so I can get a
better lay of the land, and find a new job. I will learn to use axes - they
are a lot like cleavers.

I'm still mad.

Sincerely,
Sebenso


P.S Who will read this anyway? I don't know.

P.S.S Sorry, I forgot to say goodbye. I had to go.

Role

Chapter 5

I took the blacksmith's arm back to the shop, put it on my table, and got to
work. I had to use my smaller knives, because on a job like this you don't
want to just cleave up steaks. It's very frustrating to eat a circular steak
around a circular bone, you know? Well, you would know if you had attended
the Udgaardian School of Butchery Correspondence Course. It's very
prestigious.

So I butchered the arm into pieces that resembled beef tips. Then I
tenderized them, and put them through a dry aging process. The result was
deeeelicious! I served them to the butcher and his family, cooked rare, and
with a nice glass of red wine.

When the butcher's wife inquired as to where I got the meat, I explained
where it came from and what an amazing deal I got, what with it being free
and all.

Well if she and the butcher didn't just have a cow right then. You would have
thought I did something terrible! Next thing I know they are sticking fingers
down their throats and raving madly about not eating meat sourced from
people. "We knew John the Blacksmith!" doesn't seem like a good reason to
waste meat, if you ask me.

When I tried to explain that most of my steaks were, in fact, from people
they really lost it. Then the butcher said two words that made it impossible
for me to work for him anymore.

"You're fired!"

Clearly, I was wrongfully and unfairly terminated from a job I studied hard
for, and was exceptionally good at. Now I am going to have to go out and find
a new position, but it's going to be really hard with a termination on my
record. I also can't use the butcher as a reference.

Role

Chapter 4

*** Another pre-adventuring entry. ***

DEAR DIARY,

I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS BULLSHIT I WAS WRONGFULLY TERMINATED!!! *** Here role + the ink is thick, angry and the text is aggressively underlined several times. ***

Sorry, I am very UPSET! I forgot to ask you you are doing. How are you doing?
I AM REALLY MAD BECAUSE I WAS WRONGFULLY TERMINATED!!! Let me tell you role + about it...

You remember I told you I had that job, right? The one working at the butcher
shop in Voralian City? Well, everything was going really great. I was
butchering meat, and all the customers and the owner said I did excellent
work. That is, of course, because they had never seen the work of a graduate
from the Udgaardian School of Butchery Correspondence Course. It's very
prestigious.

We supplied a lot of the boar steak to the Eternal Star, sent ribs to Kron
for his spits. With my expert butchering, we were able to raise our prices at
the shop. My boss was happy, so I was given a pay increase. Everything seemed
to be working out, until that damn blacksmith cut his arm off.

He was sharpening my cleaver when he did it. Because of my size and strength,
I use a pretty big cleaver. He was just a little human, and I think he was
drunk. So, when he dropped the damn thing it took his arm off. He started
screaming like, "Oh my gods my arm! My arm!!" and his apprentice rushed him
to the healer in the cathedral. There was a lot of blood.

I thought it was pretty rude he did not even say farewell. I mean, I
understand his arm was off. But that's really no excuse for incivility, is
it? I may have to have words with him about that one day...

Anyways, there I am standing in the blacksmith shop. I grab up my cleaver,
all covered in blood. It's right next to his arm. And I think what any sane
person would think as I look at the disembodied appendage.

FREE MEAT!

Role

Chapter 3

*** Another pre-adventure entry. ***

Dear Diary,

Hi, it's Sebenso again. How are you doing today? I am good. I have great news
about the Udgaardian School of Butchery Correspondence Course! (It is very
prestigious.) After four years of mailing in my various cuts of meat,
(Sirloin, Rib, Chuck, Brisket, Round, Fore Shank, Short Plate, Flank and so
forth) and demonstrating my knot tying with the butcher's twine - I have
GRADUATED!

You're gosh darn right I graduated, diary! It was a lot of work, especially
the knot tying, because I have big minotaur thumbs. I am holding them up
right now, but you can't see them because you are a book.

BUT EVEN BETTER NEWS! I also got my first job working at a butcher's shop in
the Voralian City. Isn't that great?! I can't wait to start and put
everything I learned from the Udgaardian School of Butchery Correspondence
Course to good use at least. It is a very prestigious school, so you know.

That's all I really have to say for now. I will write you after I start my
new job.

Sincerely,
Sebenso

Role

Chapter 2

*** Second entry, before the adventuring days. ***

Dear Diary,

Hi, it's me Sebenso again. How are you? I am fine. Guess what? I heard back
from the Udgaardian School of Butchery Correspondence Course and I was
ACCEPTED!!! It is very prestigious. I am so excited! I don't know my parents,
but I am sure I will be the first minotaur in my family to get a higher
education.


I don't want to brag, but this is going to be a real game-changer. No more
raping and pillaging for this minotaur! No, sir! I am going to learn a trade
and find work as a butcher. If I save my coppers and keep knives sharp, I am
sure I will have my fortune one day.

Well, that's all I really have to say, Diary. How are you? Good I hope. Okay.
I have to go. Bye.

Love,
Sebenso

Role

Chapter 1

*** First entry, from before Sebenso starts adventuring. ***

Dear Diary,

It's me. Sebenso. How are you? I am fine. Anyway, things are good here in the
warrior guild of Seantryn Modan. I don't really care about being a warrior,
but it's hard to find a place to live when you are a minotaur. I think it's
because of the raping and pillaging. So unfair. I mean, does anyone penalize
elves for being prissy or dwarves for being loud and annoying? I don't think
so! It's just hard to make your way when you're this horny.


Anyway, I have sent my application to the Udgaardian School of Butchery
Correspondence Course. It is very prestigious. I hope that I am accepted and
that I can be a great butcher, because a life enforcing the law in the
Seantryn Modan seems really stupid.

That is all I can think of to say for now

Sincerely,
Sebenso

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