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(51 Felar Thi) (MARAN) Jirash the Claw of Light, Elder Maran
Added Fri Jun 13 19:24:08 2003 at level 39:
It was so easy back then... I got my contracts and grabbed my things, then it was just to find the caravan and report for duty. Work was in abundance, I had all I could ask for and more yet there was something missing. Was it thrill? No, the bandits gave me that. Fighting? Hardly. Had I had my way the desert would have been scoured from the bandit-plague by now. Without being able to pinpoint exactly what it was that I craved, I toiled, fought and guarded what I was paid to guard. Perhaps it was my kin I missed during those long and most often excruciatingly hot days. To be around others... like me, home in the encampment, in the wonderful chill and the biting winds, hunting over the tundra.
I should have seen it coming perhaps, the concern of parents for their offspring. I did not reflect much about with whom or how I hunted back then, they were my friends. My parents must have seen something in them, for when I was eleven years old or so they took me and my siblings with them and moved to Blackclaw, my... home.
I was still looking at life through somewhat naive eyes by this time, I thought I could always live with my parents. They cared for me now, why not in the future? Alas, how harsh the truth of life can be. Soon I found myself lounging about and looking for work before being recruited as a guard. It took a while to learn the ropes, so to say, but it went rather quickly. Not a day after that went by without me passing by that dark pit out there. The tales circulating about it were more than you could count on your claws many times over. They all held something in common though, not a single one was about anything remotely resembling merry. Rather, every one seemed to try and outboast all the others in horror and gruesome details. I was more or less forced to listen, my ears were so used to snatching up everything around that they would not even give me the slight respite during night.
Curious. How could I not be? Was it all true? In an attempt to escape the exaggerated stories I one night snuck away, closer to the pit. Now what a sight it was... or lack of sight might be a better description. Darker than the night itself, that... shade loomed there by where I imagined the entrance to be. Stealth was wasted on the thing for he must have caught my scent from far away, shooing me away with but one word, "GO!" and a look with eyes that could burn through any good-spirited soul and turn it to smoldering ashes.
Fascination can be a very powerful thing though and I suspect this is what overtook my that night. Time and again I would leave my caravan to sneak out and observe that dark spot in a comparative bright night. Even the stars blazed as the sun in comparsion to what was held in there. Drawn towards it, I soon found about how far I could go without catching the attention of that damnable shade and so I settled down on the sands... and watched. The people moving in and out of there were ones I had never seen before, elves with skin dark as the night itself, lumbering giants that could be heard from miles away and some things that I do not have a proper name in any mortal tongue. I saw them bring in others, strangers to my eyes but the odd thing was... I never saw these people leave the dark- ness again. Hoping for the best I remained many a night on my spot, the caravan now forgotten altogether. Until that night... the cruel, sad night when I saw them return with new prisoners. Only these were shorter. They had tails. High-pitched wails could be heard from them. They were my kin. The feelings coursing through me when I saw those of my own kind being led into that darkness can not be put down in words. Sure, there had come screams out from there before, but nothing like the wails of young felars clutched in horror's grip. I wept, the heavens know I wept that night from my vantage point. I wept for those I loved, I wept for those that had forced these tears onto me for I felt they were nothing but lost. So utterly lost.
With the coming of dawn it was a ragged felar who made his way back only to find the caravan gone and so his trek went to Hamsah Mu'Tazz again. His eyes were bleary and it was with a broken stance he took farewell of his working companions, straying out to wander on the roads, over fields, through forests and over mountains. But the mountains were not empty. Here, like a beacon for him stood a fort, guarded by a fearsome knight. Being regarded with suspicion at first, he was hesitant to approach too far before knowing who inhabitated this structure so far into the so pleasantly chill mountain-range.
The rest is history, he serves now as a squire in this fort, guided by his strong belief that he can make a difference. He can by taking up arms prevent others from facing forced entry into that dark pit. He felt born anew in a way, it was as if a great weight had lifted. Wait, no. It had not been lifted, rather it had been shared with those around him, all willing to help him do his part in the carrying and trusting him to do so. He will never forget what he had seen and heard, but today when Jirash look out over the mountains during dawn - He knows another day is born, once more night flees and the light and warmth return to Thera, his home, his child he guards to his last breath. A child he hopes will see the birth of many a wonder yet, wonders he knows he was there to help out in making possible.
Added Thu Jul 3 08:29:11 2003 at level 45:
What was that dream? It felt so, odd. Standing there watching the Brigade striking out against the darkness, he felt as... what was it he felt like? Wasn't he belonging there among them? Had he erred in some way? Naturally, he pondered on this many a long night, but he kept his thoughts to himself for now, he did not wish to plant a seed of doubt on his heart and intentions among all those who stood with him if the latter was true. Always these if's...
Several weeks later, the dream itself had faded to the back of his mind, but it hadn't disappeared and kept surfacing on those nights when he lay under the stars, pondering on his life and ways. Though just as he drifted off to sleep, one thing was always prominent: His resolve strengthened and with new faith in himself and those around him, he would one day be there when darkness was finally expelled from this world and the Light would shine down upon Thera and bathe the world in it's soothing embrace. Waking again the following morning. A light breakfast. Peer out over his surroundings. Grip his blade. And so the hunt for the darkness behins anew. He might fall, but he would rise to strike again, just like the Phoenix being reborn from it's ashes.
Added Tue Aug 19 20:00:36 2003 at level 51:
My paws are aching from time to time now but it's nothing compared to what some of those I've met must feel. The war... so bloody, so furious at times but most of all... it has become a part of me. A part I find it harder and harder to imagine I could be without. The question was raised... what would I do when this battle is over? Such simple words, yet their impact was greater than any blow I've felt. What would I do? Currently I simply do not know... it will be a great void to fill. Yet as I look at those around me I gain a new sense of confidence for I know they will always be there to support me and helping me on my path. But the thought won't go away still... what do I have to go back to? A shack that have stood unattended for years? Not likely. What remains? A felar and his spear trudging the road... But as they say, that is a problem for another day. This day, the Light will triumph once more.
Added Wed Dec 3 17:14:58 2003 at level 51:
Where am I? It's a question that has come to my mind over and over again lately and as time flows by, it makes itself known time after time again with that nagging feeling in the back of my head. Every time though, I pause and stop, looking back down the road I have walked, a long and bloody one in search of an answer. What lies there besides bloodshed? Some of those answers I know at least as they float towards me. Friendship. Accomplishment. Love. Rightousness. But what is the accomplishment? I have lost track of battles I've fought, some victorious, some not, yet with each one I've felt that something changed, something moved forward. Perhaps that is why I'll never know where I am, since I'm always moving. I feel my days in Thera are decreasing in number, yet I feel no bitterness over this, for I know there are those who will raise the spear in my stead and do so with strength that is slipping from my arms. But it's not over yet, there is still a way before me to be snuck down. More blood to spill. One day... I'll be free.
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