Yep, people gear differently depending on how they play, there is not really a best set, it varies by preference. Of course there are some very great gear pieces that any char would want, but for the most part you're amassing noteworthy and occassional famous/legendary pieces.

Most mage players only care about hp/saves, but for others some str and dex can be useful to cover stat loss that may impair movement when they need to escape and they are willing to sacrifice a little hp/save to cover this.

I geared all my bards in the same way since they were w-elf. 300/400 hp, 50 svs, +10-15 dex. Nothing else really mattered, since I tended towards very light weapons that would not be str disarmed and I had songs to provide extra stats across the board.
I could manage this kind of a set without having anything that was overly high end, and I could obtain it all solo.

I always found knowing where to find middle of the road gear that was usually not over limit and being able to acquire it solo to be one of the most useful things in CF. It just takes time to get this knowledge, and if you rely primarily on PK for gear you are at a severe disadvantage. PK is how you turn a good set to a great set, but being able to build a good set solo is a good foundation and enables you to better build a stronger set over time through PK (and higher end exploration). Also, it makes being looted less of a set back when you die.

Encourage people to show you gear locations IC and learn how to acquire it is the best advice I can give. Better to know where gear is from and get it yourself then to be given a piece of gear that you'll never find again if you lose it.