You put some effort into this so I'll give you my thoughts in case you're interested.

Even putting aside that some people are generally too sensitive and literal all of the time, there's a reason why you can have a crowd of normal people laughing their asses off at a live stand-up comic as they make some joke that would normally be offensive, but a video of the same joke by itself often sends a lot of normal people into such a frenzy that they morally shame and bully the comic into hiding: it's because humor depends heavily on contextual framing. Without providing the appropriate frame to satire, the meaning and spirit of your words, for the audience, is filtered only by their subjective, personal experience and belief at the time. In my case, you needed to do something more/different for me to recognize it.

My context is:
-In my opinion there's a lot of negativity directed at the staff here, and there has been for a while. I don't think the majority of it is warranted and it's wearing me out just watching it.
-You already have a personal grievance with the staff that you're vocal about here.
-Considering what you had to say about how closing Hell reflects on Scarab's personal character, it's not hard for me to imagine you'll see malice where I do not (and we do have some fundamental disagreements on the moral nature of actions in general), especially in conjunction with the things I just said.

What you've been saying and how you said it does mostly follow the pattern of playful criticism, I can totally see it that way if I try, but I interpreted it completely differently because I started from a different place mentally than you did. I even saw the smileys as smug condescension, and the playful tone as passive-aggressiveness, so, completely serious. In particular what made it not seem like hyperbole is that you accused Twist of being responsible for a leak, and when I hear leak I imagine the kind where someone shared with a player instead of just making a mistake. I haven't heard of him having anything to do with something like that.

Not saying my frame of mind is completely justified, but it's not crazy either. I'm also not saying that I'm not negative and rude or diligent at all about courteously framing my message so it lands the way it's supposed to, just explaining where I'm coming from and why I think it's reasonable.

Don't really have a strong opinion on edges either way so not touching that.

P.S. I think you're a smart guy too and I like you.

P.P.S. Don't assume my gender.