The Outlander concept has a lot of flexibility, allowing for characters with different values to interpret things differently as is suitable for their alignment/role.

As a outlander, you are expected to hate.. Dwarves, Duergar, and whom? (Darkelf minotaur?)

The helpfile mentions several races and classes that are not welcome in the cabal. These races and classes are not to be trusted by members of the cabal. Outlanders are not expected to 'hate' these groups, but they might if it's what fits their role. I imagine most Outlanders will hate some, and just distrust others, depending on their personal motivations and goals.

...and the typical sylvan classes Anti-paladin, necro,conjurer..

I dislike the term "typical sylvan classes". One thing to keep in mind is the reason for distrust of these classes is different than the reasons Sylvans hated them.

Now, If they (outlanders) hate dwarves, whom mine the earth, (thar-eris) Why do they (outlanders) wear the bones of the thar-eris as weapons and armor (metal)?

Two things. First, bones are a much more replenishible resource, and most bone objects that exist have the implication that they were created in primitive circumstances, as opposed to civilization-based mining operations which are much more large scale. Being harmonious with the earth doesn't mean living as an isolated naked vegan. Hunting, skinning, or living in a small village setting can be seen as harmonious, and would involve eating meat, using bones and hides, etc. Second, whether it's bone or metal, objects that already exist are not objectionable. If I find some steel gauntlets on the ground, me refusing to wear them doesn't affect in any way whether dwarves continue to mine or not. Part of the idea of swearing off coins is that Outlanders do not contribute to *industry* that propels societies to mine and forge, but scavening items off the ground or from the still-bleeding corpse of some Imperial you kill doesn't contribute to the problem. There is one metal that is an exception to this, because it is created with unnatural methods, and as such the Ancients would rather see said metal removed from the world entirely.

And ontop of that, as a goodie Outlander would one always be expected to slay such said 'defilers' even if such said defiler was a dwarvern paladin etc..

You are thinking in Sylvan terms here. A) Said races and classes are not necessarily "defilers" B) There is no expectation that you have to murder said races and classes and C) Even if good felt that they did need to murder them (say, a dwarven paladin Tribunal), the idea is that it's for the greater good, and it would be approached with a burdened heart but firm confiction, in the same way good battleragers will sometimes kill good mages, or good tribunals will sometimes kill good criminals.

And not expect to get the boot for not following cabal feeling and policy? (Like letting him get away, or simply not attacking him period)

Yes and no. Yes, because the cabal policy in terms of declared enemies is much more geared towards those who protect and serve society, namely Empire and Tribunal. In those two cases, the Outlanders are expected to impede them at every opportunity and an Outlander who actively failed to even try to do so would face consequences. The races and classes are secondary, and more up to the individual, though an Outlander that trusted those races by grouping with/giving gifts to/marrying objectionable races/classes would find consequences as well.