I'll say what I say and then I won't post any more about it.

Rant part:

First, I agree with the few others who haven't necessarily agreed with me, but also posted their discontent with Baerinika. My own dislike of her comes from in-game experience, post-game experience, and the complaints from just about everyone I know via IM. I try hard not to name names, list examples, or use anything more than broad generalizations because it would out a lot of people. I've known players (and former imms/heroimms) who won't play anymore because they hate the way she's interacted with them. Statements made saying, "You don't know anything about what goes on! You're the only one!" are false. I know more than most people give me credit for, but because of the generalizations, I can't prove it. Sorry. If that makes you dismiss me, fine. I don't mind being either the villain or the lone voice of dissent.

Secondly, there are some things that need to change and that would probably settle me down a bit. Currently, Baerinika is the only really viable imm available for goodie empowerment. Empowerment is already a really frustrating process, but when your option is basically just one person, it can turn people off to the whole process. No, I'm not bitter about not being able to play an empowerment class. I don't care about it, but I know people who do. Assuming that I'm correct in that she mistreats or griefs some people, perhaps it's because she's stretched thin as an imm. I don't know, but when I was in Fort, there were around 5 active paladins, I think, and all of them were Baer followers. I'm sure those weren't the only people seeking imm love. Obviously, there's nothing *I* can do about this, but whomever is about to Imm should be considered for adding to the pool of viable goodie empowerment/Maranation/Acolyting imms.

Lastly, Zakuun's death thread was the boiling point for me because she continually puts down people's RP, character arcs, whatever. There's some kind of goodie cookie-cutter mold she seems to want everyone to adhere to, so people just can't be interesting. Also, just everything she says, to me, seems negative. Some of her more recent comments:

Mirrou:
2011-07-27 08:27:39 Baerinika 51 365 Custom negative long cause yeah...I kinda hate you.

Zhincala:
2011-05-09 09:47:08 Baerinika 49 143 I hereby dub this guy "faceless scion conjie 5003."

Norrington:
2011-05-16 16:54:14 Rayihn 51 373 We sure piss all over Imperial law.



Apology part:

Without any qualifications or buts, I am sorry for attacking you, Baerinika. I was out of line in how I responded to your criticism of Zakuun. I still disagree with your post and a lot of things about you. Even though I'm the only person who saw your as snitty, I responded with bitchiness, I didn't address you by name, and I belittled you. I'm probably also being unfair with my view of you because there is a lot of negativity coming from other imms, but the most anger and frustration I get from talking with others (since I've tried to avoid any interaction with you for awhile now) is directed towards you. Nep actually comes in a close second. Before that gun is jumped, let me qualify this by the following statement: If it were just one, just two, even just five people I talk to regularly, I'd more easily dismiss the ramblings as venting. But literally every single person I've talked with in the last 6 months (excluding maybe one person) has had something negative to say about Baerinika/Rayihn specifically. So, as a reason why I jumped all over you, my view has been tainted from early interactions and secondhand vitriol has fueled my distaste. However, that doesn't make what I did right.

As a reason why I decided to apologize, the reason is Nep. I really want to dislike him too, and I know he's behind a lot of shady #### in the past (possibly in the present - harder to verify), but he just handles the situations more coolly than I can. This comment probably changed my mind more than anything:
"Good luck with that, seriously. It's a tough row to hoe at the best of times.

I don't think you actually see how she treats people either, FWIW."
He was actually being sweet in the midst of my nastiness and even tried one more time to convince me you're a good person. So, again, I'm sorry.