But there are also douchebags.

Sounds like you've met some of the douchebags.

Bear in mind though, you don't necessarily understand someone's rp but it could be there.

For example, people criticised a drow ap of mine for having a human name, but having a human name was integral to her role. (She was given a human name by a Matron Mother who thought it would be a novel torment -- hence she hated humans for most of her life. Most she would try to kill on sight, quite often with no explanation, and those in her cabal she wouldn't travel with, but didn't necessarily explain why.)