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TwistFri 11-Jan-13 09:43 AM
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#2189, "Book 09: Winter's Heart"


          

Winter's Heart
Seiera: We have discovered the Black Ajah.
Pevara: Yes, we must proceed carefully and slowly.
Yukiri: Very slowly.
Saerin: And very carefully.
Pevara: And then maybe we won’t have to do anything until the Black Ajah kills us all.
-----------
Elayne: I must hire mercenaries for the Royal Guard, or the people will think I cannot control the city, and they

will rebel.
Dyelin: The Aiel in the city would have controlled the city for you before you sent them away.
Elayne: But Aiel are foreigners. The people hate foreigners, and would have rebelled.
Dyelin: Most mercenaries are foreigners.
Elayne: But they are MY foreigners. And I must hire all women to be in my personal bodyguard. Women with special

breast-shaped armor.
Dyelin: Because you’re an idiot, and if the people think that you are smarter than they are, they will feel

threatened and get angry and rebel?
Elayne: Precisely.
-------------
Elayne: My raised chin will teach you some manners.
Taim: My folded arms will deflect your raised chin.
Elayne: My icy stare will fend off your folded arms.
Taim: My arrogant half-smile will defuse your icy stare.
Elayne: My turned back will rebuff your half-smile.
Taim: My veiled threats will turn back your turned back.
Elayne: My girlish giggling will parry your veiled threats. Tee-hee.
Birgitte & Dyelin: Tee-hee.
Taim: You bore me.
Elayne: it’s working.
------------
Nadere: You must enter the sister ceremony by getting fully naked. That is the Aiel way. It is a sacred, ancient

tradition.
Elayne: The Aiel way seems a lot like the Aes Sedai way, and the Ebou Dar way, and the Sea Folk way.
Nadere: Naked women are powerful.
Taim: Yes, they are. Now show your power.
Elayne: I know it’s a sacred, ancient tradition, but I’m Elayne.
Nadere: Then wear this cloak.
Amys: Abracadabra. You two are now sisters.
Elayne: Light, I have found my sister!
Aviendha: We really are bored.
Taim: I’m not.
------------
Reene Harfor: I would like Halwin Norry the accountant to become my brother. Amys: Get naked. Abracadabra. Brother

and sister.
-------------
Flinn: I would like Eben Hopwill to become my son.
Amys: Naked. Abracadabra. Father and son.
-------------
Loial: I would like this plant to become my own plant.
Amys: Naked. Abracadabra. Ogier and plant.
------------
Elyas: Something tells me this Prophet is insane.
Perrin: Yes. Something about putting two and two together tells me I get four.
Elyas: Yes, I never trusted two and two. Bloody numbers.
------------
Berelain: You were frozen, so I helped you by taking off your clothes and putting you in my tent.
Perrin: You have a unique way of helping people. I feel strangely satisfied.
Berelain: Oh, I helped myself too. Abracadabra.
------------
Masema: Your ta'veren-ness has forced me to accept Traveling to find your wife.
Perrin: Strange that yesterday, my Ta’veren-ness couldn’t force you to accept Traveling to join the Dragon Reborn.
Masema: Must have been switched off.
-------------
Cadsuane: I must ignore the Dragon Reborn.
Sorilea: Why are you ignoring him?
Cadsuane: Because he threatened me when I threatened him.
Sorilea: How will you ignore him?
Cadsuane: By following him around.
Sorilea: Following him around is a strange way to ignore him.
Cadsuane: By always being around him, I will make him truly see how much I am ignoring him. I will stand next to him,

but then I will turn my head the other way. Or if he says, "Hey, Cadsuane," I will say, "Was that the wind?" That

will teach him whatever it is I am trying to teach him.
Sorilea: You have no idea what you are doing, do you?
Cadsuane: No, but that will not stop me from acting important.
Sorilea: Perhaps you should make up a plan.
Cadsuane: Okay. My plan is to use my ignoring of him to teach him to laugh, and then teach him to cry.
Sorilea: How will you do this?
Cadsuane: With my back turned to him, I will crack a couple of jokes, and then back-kick him in the shin.
-------------
Birgitte: You almost got yourself killed by leaving me behind again, when you wandered around the streets alone. You

need protection.
Elayne: How dare you. I’ve never needed protection, except for trapped by Liandrin at Falme, the bandits in Cairhien,

the Black Ajah in Tear, Moghedien in Tanchico, Ronde Macura in Amadicia, and the gholam in Ebou Dar. Now don’t give

me any bodyguards.
Daved Hanlon: Need help with your latest attackers, my lady?
Elayne: Certainly. And how may I reward you?
Daved Hanlon: Let me have ample chances to assassinate you.
Elayne: Certainly.
-------------
Elayne: Rand, I love you. Now get me naked.
Rand: shouldn’t there be some romance or spontaneity in this?
Elayne: No.
Amys: Get naked. Abracadabra. Dragon and eighteen-year old unwed mother.
------------
Nynaeve: So how is your neverending march to Tar Valon?
Egwene: Great. we’re actually marching in place, so we’ll never get there. Nynaeve: That's good. For a second, I

thought one of us women was actually going to DO something.
Egwene: Now you’re being as wool-headed as a man!
Nynaeve: I know. It must be marriage. Well, I’m off to being turned upside-down by Windfinders.
--------------
Thom: You have a week to leave town. How is your neverending evacuation going?
Mat: Great. I’m actually creating more impossible work for myself to do, which will help delay my leaving, and

probably help get me caught.
Thom: Good. For a second, I thought one of us men was going to DO something.
Mat: No. I’ve learned to be as wool-headed as the women. Well, I’m off to help rescue seven strangers using some

dresses and a smile.
----------------------------
Rochaid: You are as foolish as a newborn puppy.
Rand: You are as dead as a man with my fist in his throat.
-----------------------------
Lan: Nynaeve has sacrificed herself for you. Rand: How? Lan: To be near you, she lets Cadsuane call her "Accepted."

Rand: That sounds horrible. Maybe next time, she can be the one who takes a never-healing, near-mortal wound, and I

can be called "Accepted." Lan: I don’t know if you could take the pain.
------------
Min: Fain challenges you to a fight.
Rand: I will be there. A trap isn’t a trap, if you know it’s a trap.
Min: Like a chair isn’t a chair, if you know it’s a chair?
Rand: Exactly. Min: So what are you sitting on?
Rand: Not a chair.
Min: Because you know it’s a chair?
Rand: Exactly.
Min: Then you are not an idiot.
------------
Fain: This time, we shall finish it, al'Thor!
Rand: Yes, we shall, my mortal enemy.
Fain: Only one man shall survive.
Rand: Prepare to be locked in a deadly dance.
Fain: Of death.
Rand: Good fight. See you later.
Fain: You too.
Lan: didn’t we have a safe exit plan, involving climbing down to lower buildings?
Rand: A safe exit plan isn’t a safe exit plan, if you know it's . . .
Lan: Oh, shut up.
----------
Elza: The Great Lord will be happy with me if I kill Dashiva. He couldn’t be anyone important.
Dark Lord: ELZA. FACE THE BIG VOICE.
Elza: Damn.
Dark Lord: GET NAKED. ABRACADABRA. YOU ARE A TOAD.

  

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