So uh...yeah. My first hero char, second char to be even close to hero. I started off not knowing how to get to the fortress, and having never been to an area explore except organia. I didnt have much more to gain...Baer clearly hated me for being a ####, probably the longest lived follower who was actually trying that never got even pupil. I realize I need to be all frothing bloodlust to be a good follower, but I really couldnt go that switch and still be IC.

This char was so very hard for me to play since being "good" doesnt come naturally to me. I had to force myself to do things that I felt were absurd. But I suppose that is the essence of RP. I wanted to challenge myself and be a goodie.

A few goodbyes. I have terrible...terrible...terrible memory about events. I can remember every significant quote I have read in books but couldnt tell you what I talked about with someone yesterday, so bear with me, and if you feel jipped just post.


In order that I think of them-

Ailinilia- If you arent female you are the best RPer ever. I would have deleted ages ago if not for you...sorry I couldnt fulfill my promise of age death. I was SO surprised you said no. Like smack in the face. I had so many plans in that...it was really the only thing left in Lortas' life he had a chance with. Thanks for teaching me things and keeping my morale up when I felt like a tard. I could write a book on the thoughts and history and ####, but yeah...you were the biggest part of Lortas' life. I had plans for my age death with you too, but I just couldnt continue.

Okin- Please...please stop being suicidal. You have a lot of heart but you need to learn more from your mistakes. Sorry for being a ####.

Humbert- What every character should be like. I really expected you to take the two swords and start carving #### up, but your first fight with them was a death that I caused by distracting you...so sort of mutual but I will take the blame. You should be able to go up to any of the goodie/neutral/war gods, say give me a tat, and they should say okay. Based on your handle if you were female I wouldnt be surprised. You always had a very very calm gentle demeanor no matter what. That is really what I wanted Lortas to be, but if you cant wreck house like you do it just comes across as acolytey.

Sarien- Taught me tactics, kept my ass in line, taught me #### as a dumbass squire who couldnt find the fortress. Thanks for all the knowledge. Giving up the shield of light was a terrible, terrible, terrible idea. I thought the boiled leather would be more offensive...just got shield cleaved the very first fight or so that I got in. Typical Gahdak break/steal my gear then flee to the destructor.

Aeranir- Hold your head high. Dont get distracted by things that dont matter. Have some confidence and you can go far.

Elorik- We get it, you're a newb. Go stomp some faces and make a name for yourself instead of wallowing in fear of failure. At least thats the impression I got.

ALMOST EVERY APPLICANT I SPOKE TO- Sorry the people that got me early...I have never been caballed before and I wanted to be hard to get a rec from...I was too hard early, and probably too easy later. However, let me say some things--1) Stop getting pissed off when I ask a question and dont find your answer satisfactory. Especially if it is 1-2 words. This happened often. 2) I dont care about your life story if I didnt ask for it. Like Isildur said...stop force feeding me your role chapters. 3)I dont care that you're a newb. There were at least 2 people who during their interview were like I need to join fort so I can learn to play. Saying this wont make me go easier on you. If anything youll need to work harder. 4)Its not a great idea to stress to the guy who says purpose before honor how much honor means to you and youll never group to fight evil ever. This just says to me you just want the powers while flying solo.

Zaknifal- I am 99% sure the arrogance is the player. It just comes out too fast. There were many times I wanted to say I no longer consider you a paladin. I had to stop myself from telling you to kill yourself. I was AMAZED when you got maran, as I expected you to be kicked from fort for being a douche, but I suppose 2 beads and defiance got you enough kills that it made up for it. Anyway I can say it now...kill yourself, seriously.

Eolin- You had the olde english thing right? I really appreciated that you were trying, and you were definitely cool all the time, but I cringed at the style. Nary a soul may speaketh mine tongue. Very often the sentence's structure and grammar were lost in the styling. You should play chrono trigger and study Frog's speaking style.

Kasir- You were always cool, and you really made me think about how to employ your abilities. I apologize for sometimes stealing the reigns during raids. You and humbert I would do anything for at the drop of a hat.

Empire- I really dont understand how you can whine about being ganged without lightning coming down from the sky irl and killing you, let alone in game. Bleeding with hypocrisy. Dolce bashes me in town in front of the empress while I wasnt bloody and there were no repercussions. If only the tribunals were there to warrant you. It is always hilarious to see Zwerg log off, then log back on 3 minutes later because then you knew that the lich was logging on. It wasnt an occasional oh he had to take a piss, it was any time zwerg logged back on after logging off 1-10 minutes ago, the lich was logging on. I have no idea why this hasnt been ended by the imms. Seriously I appreciate everything the imms do but I feel like no one wants to be the one to end the #### that is the current empire. Granted I havent seen the old empire, but I know nothing could be worse than this.

Nidblot- Dont make excuses, you were DYING to kill me, and always loved to fight knowing I didnt have light of heaven.

Enlilth- Anliltuel's heroimming destroyed my plans. I loved our talk so very very much. I am definitely making a follower soon, even if I have to suffer the russians.

Twist- Thanks for the role contest despite cheapening it by saying I was actually third. I really didnt get much use out of divine retribution since the liches were always using the phylactery. I started using it a lot more towards the end when I knew certain people had a lot of goodie kills, but most of the time wrath served better. Might just be my newbishness.

Malakhi- Fun fights despite being a one trick pony. I could never stop you from slipping in between he isnt heres somehow, unless it was dash and it doesnt have an echo if it doesnt fail? No idea. Really earned a lot of respect for not killing me while I was afk. Victacar of course showed his cowardice by trying to kill me right after while I was still clearly afk.

Baer- Yeah..thanks for the coorespondance early on. I really misinterpreted what you wanted from me. I am not sure what else to say. Sorry for being the worst long lived follower ever I guess? Id really love to hear what all the things are that I did wrong.

Ragers in general I fought 1v1- Stop fleeing to the destructor when you know I cant follow. I know it makes sense, but its so amazingly cowardly for a group that prides themselves on courage. Happened every single time. Maybe I am just being a newb and thats expected of them? No idea.

Maktess- I'll be perfectly honest...I dont remember a single time we interacted, except for the stomping we got on the mountain. My memory is terrible. I'm glad I was an influence though.

Arrna- Be more social and you are a sure pick for leader.

Eldarwen- I really dont understand why people said you could get leader...Maybe I just never saw it but you almost never spoke on CB when I was around, and often didnt show up for raids or defense. Awesome kill on Nidblot though.

Aeinrez- Sure pick for captain.

Tellik- Thanks for all the defiance runs though I always lost it right after to neutrals helping evils, or being ganged. Hope you got something nice for the story.

Firhindil- I laughed when you said I was very competent in your goodbye, since I still consider myself a f'ing newb in all ways. Fun to explore with. Thanks for the support.

Nian- No one deserves Neltoulda's tat more than you do. I think that says enough. I felt like we learned a bit about combat together.

Tameron- Stylish killing AND looting someone who was clearly afk.

Victacar- Opportunist extraordinaire. You would constantly steal from me then bitched your head off when I took 3 things.

Ikanu- Your death thread was basically a big rag on me. I didnt have light of heaven or anything that would make it even a remote possibility that I could kill you since you never left without full abs. There was nothing fortitude/hope could do against you. Same with Dierj and Tameron.

I cant think of anyone else right now.

Um...if anyone wants to pick up the PBF I am sure it is an enjoyable read. Role contest winner as well. I dont have paypal so I cant do it. Really wish there was a credit card option.

Overall this was a tremendous learning experience. I just wish we had other classes to work with in the fort during my lifetime, like bards, transmuters, or assassins. I dont think I sucked too hard for my first pvping character and first hero, but I am sure others will disagree. I would really appreciate any commentary people have for me, positive or negative.

PS: Fortress is not a single hive mind. Stop full looting and pulling stupid #### because someone else killed you or did something. Get THEM back, not every other fort member you gang down. Its just sad.

I'd love to post on dios but I am still banned because I had a bad day.