What shall follow is a brief summary of my career on CF. There may be stuff you disagree with, agree with stuff you laugh at. This is only my opinion. I don’t care if you wish to repost but feel free to. You more then not wont change my opinion.

What can I say? I’ve been playing this game since 95/95 and have seen it go through a lot of things. I came along in a time where I had Twist, Cador, Nep, Ra####on, Bria, Raisa, Shokai and Pico as mentors. Looking back I know some people have negative things for some of those, but in truth they helped make the game fun in their own ways. They each helped mold me into what I had learned and would continue to pass along in my own ways to the mud and player base. I remember the day where a good friend named Jason introduced me to this weird game on the computer in high school, which our other friend Dustin was an Immortal on. Asking where was the graphics, how do I wear a sword...etc.

I remember getting into Battle as Kadizine and running around first with Cravenwulf and other Aiel Glanduin, and that fateful day where I blindly prayed for a god. When Twist decided to take some time out of his day and interact with me, forever changing my path on CF. From being a rager to being a masters bitch who died left and right that would one day Imm. These were the days that live in my memory as I would log on and the fun would hit you from the go. Where you would crave to log on and skip class, stay up till 5am on a 20 hour playing spree. There has been so many fun times which I’ve experienced on CF, and so much pain it caused me through the years. Years of bad grades and stunted social life outside the game for starters However I did make some cool friends along the way which I had the honor of meeting in person.

I have cherished my time as a member of the CF admin staff and have gone through changes and matured from my early years (or so I would like to believe). I stumbled now and then and grew as those around me back then helped and guided me to see how the game was suppose to be. I remember the awe and amazement from my first few days as a hero Imm. The constant slayings and steaks which flowed freely from my dead corpse. The ass chewing I took from Cador and how he explained he expected me to do an area made for hero’s my first go around. It was a damn daunting task having never written an area before, so it should be no surprise it was crap and filled with a lot of death traps . I had always ment to re-write it into a cool area since I made so much back story and history for it. Hell, even Stellyx took from it and made Whistlewood. For those of you who died to these pointless traps, I’m sorry and looking back now I see that it wasn’t the best judgment in area writing. In truth I should have started on something smaller and easier to write before being thrown into the deep end. However I did survive and strangely enough the area is still in the game (minus the death traps). I then was allowed as I grew in ranks to become Lanthaeren who I still think is perhaps one of my fav Imms I’ve done with his religion and all. I remember watching over my little hippie children who were too busy camo and having mud sex with anyone and everyone to protect the forest. There are two episodes which I shall never forget during this time as Lanthaeren. The first was snooping a ranger sylvan and all of the sudden watch her starting to mudsex with a knight at the time. Ok gross, but what is even more so wrong… She got her BEARS into the action!!! Thank you Viviane(Cat Cat) for that horrible memory. The second was from a pray from this guy saying he liked to take rabbits and rub them all over his crotch. Needless to say I made him a defiler for that . During this time however I was off at college and my grades were suffering bad. I decided that I needed to quit CF and try to focus on my real life, though there was so much more there that I had to work out for myself. But as they say life is an adventure and shapes us to what we will become.

Anyway, after a year or two I was hanging out with Shokai and Tallanvor and they were talking about CF once again. They peeked my curiosity and interest with CF again and I decided to start with something simple. A neutral human sword spec. Nexus comes along and I figure “What the hell, I might as well give this a shot”. I was plagued with a damn gnome who was annoying as ####ing hell with him playing with his sack. However in truth I loved Sanorik. You had a grumpy old warrior like me with this kender like gnome running around with me. It was funny at times to watch the interactions, and also scary to see a lion who had someone bonded to him that could parry for him. Many a ragers died during this time (and many a Vahlens died too! ) I was given another chance during this time to Imm, cause hell I was already running the cabal it seemed. Nol pulled a dead beat dad and went out for some cigs and milk and never returned home. I HATE YOU DADDY NOL! (Just kidding chief, glad you are doing well in your career). However Jazur soon left as well and I was left running a cabal as a HeroImm. Let me tell you, that was painful and draining. I perhaps shortened my Imm career by a few years from all that strain and stress. From morts to Imms not wanting to aid in anything dealing with the cabal. It was a cool cabal and had its nitch but in the end it wasn’t suited for CF and how it swings back and forth on the bandwagon dime. It was during this time I had a conversation with Droky about how I would love to be a Dragon as well having always loved and had a concept of a neutral wise earth dragon. He told me should I ever hit 55/56 as an Imm he would see no problem with trying it. However he did warn me that it would come back and bite me in the ass (and it did). He warned that it was hard interacting with mortals because you have to put on a different type of RP. You can’t be as hands on, and people will never really treat you like the god/dragon you are. However while I loved him, this was during the waning days of Nexus and soon I saw no need for him. Empire had just re-emerged from the ethereal and I was asked by Thror if I would help run them as the shadow sect Imm. I was down with that and thus Tanadin was born in my mind. A sphere chaos god who worked from the shadows and never revealed himself as the true hand behind the Imperial Shadow sect. Was a cool religion and concept..however I soon discovered that I had the same problems as I did with Kahosarian. I could never interact within the cabal and be as hands on, other then just as ‘a shadowy voice”. That really distanced me from the workings of the cabal, and it didn’t help I was sort of pushed out of the cabal and decisions were made for me concerning the sect.

So here I was floundering around trying to find my nitch after all these years, and something that has always nagged at me and had always been told “you should go battle”. I have always loved those crazy guys and they were sort of floundering as well with Thror gone and Kasty all alone with them. I had an image of the classic kill them all barbarian, drunk and fun. Thus Ordasen was born. I know he was rough with some, but in the end he tried to make it fun for most. Sometimes it took putting a boot in the ass of someone or smacking them around but hopefully they got it and it was cool from that point on. Ordasen viewed things as earned, in a day and age where most things were just handed out like candy. You had to prove to him (sometimes beyond reasonable means I will admit) that you could talk and walk the walk. People early on in their lives would #### up and he would ream them out and not give them the time of day for his religion. However if they improved and showed themselves to have learned he would give them a second chance (unless they had a major attitude problem. You don’t sass talk a god of war )

So what brings me to this after that long rambling of my career? Well, someone was talking about real life careers the other day and something struck a cord with me. They simply stated “Why would anyone waste their life doing something they no longer found fun and enjoyed? Life is too short to waste on such things” And there you have it folks. That is the primary thing among the multitude of issues. CF simply put, is no longer fun. You have to pour too much damn time into it to even begin to start to get rewards from it. Gone are the days where you can log on and within 10 mins be within the thick of things. Play for 30mins to an hour an half and had an enjoyable day and quit. Now it is a career both from the players side and from the admin side. The attitude from the Imm side is it went from being a game we donated our time to because it was fun, to having to do things because it is now a job and things are expected of us. If you don’t make it a job, you have no place among the staff.

The second issue which gnawed at me which I finally cant take is I can no longer defend all the actions done by the staff. It is a hard thing, because I’ve been ridden so damn hard over my career with BS and claims of what I have done, only to watch others do so much more and never be given a damn word. Truthfully yes I ####ed up twice and I will fully admit to it. But as well it was things that others have done countless times before however I was nailed to the cross. Does it make what I did back then right? Nope. But it was forever hung around my neck and I was always seen as such. Does it make one bitter? Hell yes. I would never wish to place upon anyone else all the #### I’ve had to endure. It was almost like people would always ignore the positive #### you do, however if you sneeze they would look at it seven different ways to see if you did anything wrong. And should you have sneezed and not covered your mouth…they nail you for that and make claims of how ####ed up you are.

What is to follow is my goodbyes both good and bad to the fellow and ex staff members. Some might be glowing, and some might be down right mean..but you know what? I’ve never pulled punches and this is how I see things. And let me be the first to say I’m not the only one who has this opinion of some people. Just some are afraid to say it due to retribution and their career as an Imm.

Old Imms:
Twist: Dude, I love you in a non gay way. You were the epitome of what a CF Imm was all about. You enjoyed the game from both the Imm side by running quest, interacting with morts and cabals. And on the flip side you played morts. You knew what was going on in the game because you were playing it. When we lost you, we lost the fun stick. Ever since you left there was a void which was never truly filled, as the CF ship drifted aimless and wrecked upon the shoals. Thank you for the original shot at Imming and everything you have done for this game.

Cador: You were one gruff as hell Imm. You would chew someone out, however everything you did was heartfelt. You called things as they were and never pulled your punches. For that I think you created a much stronger staff as they learned how to have a thick skin and able to take criticisms. When you left, the staff did get more mellow…but it also became soft and things were never the same. No longer did ranks mean anything as you would have lower Imms negging something a higher was wanting to do.

Bria: You helped me the second go around by being my mentor. I knew I could count on you to tell me where I was ####ing up and how to fix it without trying to be mushy. I’m truly sorry how you were treated like #### after putting so many years into the game. What they did to you was ####ing wrong. You don’t tell a 59 Imm “I know you auto deleted by a few days because you have Internet problems..but we are going to be nice and allow you to come back as a rank 55! Instead of having to re Imm all over! We are soo nice to you!” That was utter BS, especially how some others were brought back after a year gone and shot up to a high rank. Ah well. You are in a better place now anyway.

Cyradia: Ms Spooky Beatle Chick. What can I say, you were a great friend and you were an awesome Imm with a ####ing cool religion. Granted, it was funny watching you try to PK as Bereous but then you made up for it in cool points. I am truly sorry we had a falling out, and while we don’t always view things in the same eye, I am glad we are talking again.

Phaelim: You were an asshole and a cheater. You treated people like #### and personally I never though you should have made it past 52. That is my opinion.

Andaren/one half of the wonder twins: A hell of an area writer, however you would do anything for the women. Your life was ruled by your cock and the never ending pursuit of trying to get into someones pantys. However I hope you are doing well and thank you for serving our country.

Ilhrath: Other half of the wonder twins. One hell of an artist and you were good. However I always had this feeling you were using being a woman to get things out of Andaren.

Jacynth: Dramaqueen.

Active Imms by the alphabet:

Amaranthe: You are great with descriptive and RP aspects of the game, however you are bad in the long run for CF if left unchecked. CF at its core will always be a pking mud, however you try to turn it into a MUSH. You have changed so many tenants of CF to fit with the views you have of something, even if it means screwing over planed out work that was a consensus of other Imms. While you do have some cool ideas at time, you truly have no sense of game balance. Also sometimes your logic leaves a lot to be desired. Outlanders case in point. You changed the total history of many races to fit your view of them for outlanders even though we had a group of Imms who came up with the history already. You name some defilers while others who have the same charastics as fine. But whatev panda bear. Its your cabal, do as you wish. The only other irking thing was how you came back after so long away and moved up to 58 so damn fast. Sure you put in some hours but not hard when 90% of the time when looking you are idle. Anyone else who left a cabal to flounder like you did, leave for a year and then come back would have had a #### ton or rings to jump through (if they were even allowed back)

Aarn: Chief, you are a good friend and thank you for the time spent on CF. However as with a few others you need to get off the pot or ####. If you are truly annoyed or disillusioned with CF either play more and try to change it, or quit. Being in dormancy doesn’t help either the mud or your own sanity. I gave it a shot after being annoyed and disillusioned and it didn’t work. So I’m taking my own advise. However if you stick it out, keep on trucking with Maran and the game. The mud needs more people like you who want to make it fun. You are always welcomed at my house.

Arvam : Ah Arvam. Chief you were a close friend as well as we grew up on the staff as Team Goofy Hero Imm. You shot through the ranks and while some might be jealous, I was glad to have you up there as a reasonable sane voice for the game. You never forgot that it was suppose to be about fun. I just wish you would be more active as well and try to make it fun for the mortals. However I can understand your frustration and views as I think we both saw a lot of the same things. You are always welcomed at my house, though you better be wearing pants.

Corrlaan: You rock, keep on trucking dude with Acolytes. They need someone steady like you to give them hope and a guiding hand.

Crysseara: An interesting person and good natured. Has a lot of potential however I think you’ve been given much of it on a silver platter. Only time will tell what kind of Imm you are. However a piece of advice. Quit trying to act like you know everything, chicka. You are young and have much to learn *shrug*

Dalteric: I’m glad your back on staff, but chief you need to interact with the others more. You can’t hide yourself away in Cyradias old room all the time, its not good for you and the others who never get to know you. You are always welcomed at my house though watch the knives.

Eshval/Innis: Ok…before I rip into you I should say something nice I guess. You give a lot of interaction to mortals and try to make it fun for them. Now the gritty. You have some ####ed up judgement in things. Things that I would get nailed for, are blown over when you do them, and how you made it this far I don’t know. Yes you do a lot of interaction with mortals but I’ll put it this way. Its like the Town whore. Anyone who wants a piece of action can get it, however when you walk away you can’t but help feel cheap, itchy and dirty. But for those who enjoy such things, keep on itching?

Guerric/Sebeok: A cheating ####. What is scary about this however is that I know many wont ever say a word out of fear that you would #### over the game via code. Yes, I do remember that night when you were drunk and made the statement “If I wanted to, I could #### over CF and bring it down in under 2 mins”. What was the final straw for me concerning you was when you played Yanacek and other Imms(mid/high ranking ones at that) brought up “X is overpowered and needs to be changed on poisoners”. While playing an active poisoner, you posted “X isn’t overpowered and wont be changed” However as soon as you were done abusing them, they were changed. Whatev

Grurk: Don’t know what I really think of you chief. At times you have ####ed up judgment and wacky thoughts, and other times you are cool. Perhaps the only advise I can give is don’t micro manage the cabals as much.

Khasotholas: This is a tough one. I had been great friends with you for a while as Intronan and even got to meet you and hang out. Though as you gained in ranks you seem to become sour and jaded. I miss the old Khas/Inty, perhaps you will find him in there somewhere.

Lyristeon: Another hard one like Grurk. I had my moments where I thought you were ####ed up, and then I’ve had my moments were I thought you were great. I’ll remain neutral to you

Muuloc: A good up coming Imm. Don’t get sucked into politics and play the game to have fun and make it fun for mortals.

Nepenthe: You were one of the few ones I could always look towards for advice. Your judgment was never questioned and I could always count on you for valid views. Thank you for the times you came to my defense in some of the issues which happened on the mud. However I think you need to make a stance in either direction, and quit riding the fence so often. Everything else, I’ll just leave at that.


Qaledus: Why so blue panda bear? Anyway when you came to me asking if it would be ok to take over a religion like Tanadins, I couldn’t see anyone else doing it as great as you have made it. You have a lot of potential and you are a great addition to the mud. Hopefully you will find more time to play since you remember the fun stick. Keep on trucking Mr Panda

Scarabaeus (Dormant): You are truly an artist, what can I say. However you do have an inflated ego of yourself. Just because you say something does not mean you are always right. No matter what things I could provide as proof to my stance on an issue, you would write it off as “Shokai’s Lacky” which was utter BS. But you will be who you are, and you are a talented peson, just a prick sometimes

Shokai: Damn, what can I say. One of the guys who started me on CF and kept me addicted. The father figure to so many mortals who has his religion and image so interwoven into the game and its past. You have been ####ed with so many damn times its hard to believe you are still around. So much #### is tossed on your shoulders and you only shrug and trudge along. You would think someone who has been around since 94/95 and an Imm almost the whole time, beloved by the playerbase and is a 59 would have a lot more respect then what you currently are given. I can see why you grow apathetic when your post are always ignored or you are called “crazy uncle shokai” patted on the head and then told you have a beak. The only thing I can say chief is what I told Aarn. You need to get your ass in gear and make a choice. Either pick up the game again and bring the fun back, or walk away. By being semi dormant like you are, you are giving false hope to many of the players out there looking for your tattoo or empowerment. Its not fair for the mud in truth. I say this as a friend. You need a kick in the ass.

Thrakburzug : You aren’t around enough to get a current feel for you.

Valguarnera: You do a #### ton for the mud and people don’t give you credit. Many want to give you #### for your old Dio’s handle but you are one hell of a person. You picked up the mud when it was sort of aimless without direction and for good or bad, you made a choice. Which was more then others were willing to do. Now the bad. That direction I personally feel wasn’t the right one. You have taken the game away from what it use to be and fun and made it into a job. You have the attitude of that if you have to work on something, that everyone else should have the work ethic that this is a job that should be done 40 hours a week. While you are a great task master and pusher to get things done, I honestly don’t think you were the right choice to take over at the helm. Yes it was needed at the time, however you have this driving goal to make it more of a task. You need to be able to step back and admit that we the Imm staff ####s up now and then with our decisions.

Yanoreth/BT/Galadrial/Jullias: I put you four together as you do a lot of the mud behind the scenes. I thank each and everyone of you guys. Enough can’t be said.

Zulghinlour: You I have a #### ton of respect for. You are one hell of a guy who calls it as it is and willing to admit when something isn’t working. You should take a more active role when time permits into the game, I think it would be better off if you did.


(Edited since I forgot some)
Pico: I admire you and what you did for the game. I was sort of always scared when having to deal with you, but you were always very polite and professional. You were another great blow to CF when you left the game. You are missed.

Thror: Stumpy. You were a fun and great foe as a mortal, and a good friend my little mexican. I hope life is treating you well with your little one. Some say you changed battle for the worse..eh, some good some bad. We all do what we think needs to be done.

Kasty: One hell of an Imm. Keep on rocking dude. Though sometimes you need to sit back and enjoy the game for what it is..and allow some of the other stuff to go bye. I didn't agree with everything on the standardising..but it was your ball of wax. Thank you for allowing me to play within Battle. I had fun.

Holtzendorf: How could I have forgotten you?!? One of the major reasons I wanted to Imm was my battles with you as Kadizine! You were a great player and a great Imm. Hope you are doing well up there in NC still. Later Pall Ott

Ishmael: Truely a great chaotic player. I miss you and what fun you brought to CF. Though you were sort of responsible for stupid silly chaos

Grummy: My little gnome of destruction! You were funny as hell and I think it was a great loss when you were sort of pushed out. However you did sort of #### up now and then and killed WAY too many mortals with your stump. But over all chief, glad you were up here for when you were.

The player base:
You guys are why we are here. Thank you for allowing me to have fun on this game. Some of you however take things too damn serious and think the ends justify the end. To those of you who hated me ah well. To those of you who loved me, thank you. I never went out of my way to #### with someone or deny them something and I was 75% of the time willing to give someone a second chance. They just had to stick it out.