Do note that I haven't watched a lot of these chars, so comments are mostly based on personal thoughts will reading the roles!


1.Mharr:
I liked the bit of humour injected into it, which makes for fun times in actual rp as well. It's simple and thus accomplishing or relating it to actual rp is made more possible and stark. You mentioned a few events with various chars along the way. Instead of just stating, it might be better if you stated how these events impacted you as a char as well.

2.Gahn:
It's a nice bit of background story to set him loose upon Thera, and was simply but nicely written. Would be nice to talk a bit more about the char himself too.

3.Dughaid:
Short and sweet bit of background. I liked how his miserly circumstances are just what they are - miserly, and that he's not secretly the son of a king or something overly dramatic. Gives way for the char to develop into something great out of nothing, and also space for role growth. I'd like to know more about the char, his tendencies and stuff too.

4.Vylim:
Colourful and dramatic role. A bit lengthy, and tries to describe everyone and everything else. Can probably cut down on some events that do not impact the char so much, or things that do not need to be mentioned. Really interested to see what happens next.

5.Erylaina:
Simple and concise role, which is great for those seeking empowerment from spheres with no imm coverage. Would be nice to see some elaboration on her way, and your take on it. A few goals and further explanation of the char would be helpful.

6.Feisodea:
A pretty fresh take on a goodie conjie role. Looking forward to know more about your char's personality, his new familiar and about his 'new path'.


7.Kreo:
Simply written, but packed with info that helps me understand a lot about the char. Each chapter fulfils its purpose of telling me what he's all about. Nice to see the char actually setting out and trying to obtain his goals.

8.Orinal:
Just a little typical, but good start at current rank of 6 nonetheless. We'll see how this progresses and plays out!

9.Aiyanna:
Novel style building of background, and in the process glimpses of the char's personality and lifestyle can be seen. Leads and ties in well with sphere, choices, goals, class, race, etc.

10.Lehktul:
I liked the portrayal of struggle being a half-breed amongst a society of high elves that would hold obvious contempt. Very detailed and explains the char from every angle.

11.Sharricci:
Interesting story, fast paced enough for such length to not become bored. Would be nice to know more about the char herself, perhaps can amplify her obvious problem as she seems to revolve around it. Also, a little about her cabal and how she fits in would be good.

12.Jayundar:
Invoked lots of emotion well, and I like the very personalised first person writing style of this one, can almost imagine the char narrating it. Ultimately the role focuses on your char the most, although there are a couple secondary figures played into it. Good work using them to enhance the main character of the story (you), instead of letting them overshadow. Would be nice to see evolvment in the ways of her cabal, ethos and alignment, especially with the foundation background you laid.

13.Llondolis:
Liked how the first statement already cheekily enhances the snooty elf nature. Has a clear foundation. Although a little typical, if you can play it out full blast it might be interesting for all including yourself. Only rank 15 at time of reading, so looking forward to more.

14.Carintsei:
One of those 'a little long novel style roles', that either become draggy and dull, or captivating and good...this one leans towards good. A cool combo of great story background, evoking of emotions and clear outline of char's personality. This RC is specifically for chars who haven't won anything previously, so you're not listed as a winner. Looking forward for more updates about his current life though.

15.Jaleab:
Heh I liked your role subject title, thought it fitted great after reading the role! Also liked the carefree style of it. Would be nice if you could tell me more about the voices and what he hears, or has done with them. Also, just from reading, I don't see what links he has with his alignment.

16.Kalem:
I liked the truth of emotions portrayed, and how one main characteristic is spelled out and played to the max and well. Role gives a lot of room for evolvment and sphere influence, so really looking forward to seeing how this one becomes great eventually. More religious stuff would be cool, especially with his nature being so opposite from his sphere atm.

17.Liluthiyan:
That's one long ass role :p But VERY well written, so that saved the day! Excellent imagery and scenes invoked, very much spot on. Highly dramatic, hollywood style, but works in this instance...seems a fun role to rp. Liked the intricate background and personality building, and also how you incorporate various people she's met and writes a good blurb about how they've influenced or impacted the char. Fits her sphere to a T.

18.Ialer:
Clear outline of beliefs, which also explains the char's behaviour. Would be nice to know more about him and his take on the religion, and how he applies it in actual rp. The theories of his beliefs have been laid out, entries about application would be neat. 2nd entry was skipped...past the timestamp.

19.Iltanthal:
Pretty basic role. More about the char's cabal and on the light would be neat.

20.Shumwrahm:
A bit of a documentary style role, which revolves quietly around sphere (which was neat). A tad unbelievable in terms of abilities at her age though. More about her personality will be cool, and since she's a hero now, anything more about her cabal and the new cause she fights for as well.

21.Svigmaar:
Pixar like fantasy theme, but believable...was a refreshing storyline. Was wondering how his sphere played a part or into it though, and more stuff about the character would be good, on top of the interesting background.

22.Iloyhana:
Disqualified - deleted.

23.Varvazi:
Takes a usual rager role, and twists it into something different and interesting. I liked the incorporation of a civilisation's culture, which will affect the char in one way or more. Would be good to know more about his tendencies and stuff. I like how the role can be seen clearly played out in actual rp.

24.Tubnic:
Very very cool take on the veil, and reintepretations of the other paths of magics. Fits entirely with sphere, and first time I've personally read a role that made me think 'gnome!', with the wisdom and logic injected into it. I'd like to know more about his cabal choice, and also where and how he derived all this info from. Do leave more white space/paragraphs next time! P.s.Should have gone Yean...I wanted someone like that heh. Also, you mind if I ever used your stuff for the shrine library? Exactly the kind of stuff I want to fill it up with.

25.Kharnial:
Liked how the novel style is consistent throughout, from pre-char creation (background) to current events. Very good language, imagery and mood invoked. Nice to see how you tied in class and sphere so well. Would be good to know how he came to his cabal, and his goals, especially with his current position.

26.Laraiyin:
Logically written, which is an aspect of the personality of the char, so that was nice. However, personally I find starting chars out as superpowers makes it a little unbelievable, as a rank 1 char couldn't have possibly carried such actions out by any means. The breaking down of cabals/guilds are pretty much known facts, if you want to include such analysis, stating how it influenced your char and choices will help greatly! Also, I do not understand class choice, due to the char's desires.

27.Khazvhak:
Interesting storyline that was well written. A little too flawless, but still believable. Ties in class, sphere and everything else well.

28.Kehade:
Well written vision entry, which was a different way of expressing his beliefs in religion and stuff. Would be nice to see how he uses his cabal to rise as his own star.

29.Warawl:
Char's still young, so looking for more updates about 'his new life' and to see how his sphere/class/ethos/alignment ties in.

30.Grughgor:
Still young, looking forward for more. Just something that struck me as odd though...that Tremblefist the great orc shaman would speak with a slave boy orc

31.Gamrend:
Disqualified...deleted or autoed or something after I read it. *fistshake*

32.Ilphur:
Another disqualfied for same reasons as previous entry. I should state contest only for rank 20 and above :p

Short and sweet outlines. Only rank 5, so looking for more. Maybe can explain why cabal choice, why religion choice, and a bit more about magic? Probably could have spent a bit more writing about the char itself rather than on his parents...it's good, but more about himself would be better.

33.Cormindon:
Not much in this one and a little stale. We'll see how it pans out, and a couple more in-depth additions about anything would be good...personality, thoughts, goals, etc.

34.Sniggledorf:
A little typical, but good enough to explain his intentions. A suggestion would be to enhance the char even if the role is simple...a tiny quirk, a deep hate, something, anything, would help. I'd like to know more about the cries he hear, what they want, what they're about, what he's done to help and stuff.

35.Koolchi:
A fairly interesting role. Would be good to know more about the part she plays in her cabal, and how she uses her healing powers, or about her healing process.

36.Maelwin:
Epic telling, did the medieval noble family thing well. Still young, but some more about the char, religion, etc would be good eventually. Latest entry not read - past time stated.

37.Deijnar:
Good story background build, thought put in even though it's simple. Evokes the personality well. Would be good to see im time, what he does in terms of religion, sphere and stuff.

38.Bolrek:
Can picture this as one of those medieval war movies. Though I personally do not understand how a man of such great stature needs to start training from scratch at rank 1 again...parry and trip doesn't seem like things he'd need training in anymore

39.Sinvool:
A pretty typical rager role, but if it works out well in rp, then cool. Would like to understand more about the char himself, and why he held no interest in magic like everyone else, as its power would logically, spark some curiousity. Latest addition wasn't read as it was past the time stamp.

40.Keren:
I've always liked the narration styly approach. Also simple and good, solid goals stated. More about what she has done so far against the darkness would be nice, and expansion of path, sphere, religion.

41.Galan:
Interesting take on sphere. Well written, open for development. More about his vanity/pride thing later would be nice. Also on how he fits into a cabal of strong people (like how he didn't fit in when he was young), and how his sphere plays in.

42.Elezethran:
Novel-esque story without being overly draggy; infused throughout life and consistent with a fairly interesting backgorund story. Glimpses of char can be understood in the process. I also like how at rank 43, his quest is still being continued, and hasn't faded away as many do. Also liked how he focuses himself as the main char in the story, with external influences used just right.

43.Hamdtrauk:
Straight to the point, states all his beliefs. Would help if you told me more about him as a person as well, instead of just beliefs...which in the long run, often runs the risk of ending up 'just another char'. Not a complaint though, just a suggestion. It's your role

44.Sletren:
Interesting and unique char foundation on beliefs and personality. Broken down clearly which makes for easy reading and remembering.