I like that idea of making it an urge NOT to play... that is really a good idea.

I have this one letter in my swipe file that is hand written and says something along the lines of "Dear reader, I'm writing this from my closet where I'm hiding from girlfriend. Ever since I got Cologne X she has been totally sex crazed blah blah blah (it gives a little descrpition of the product) and then it's like, oh no I hear her coming... and then there is this pen mark like he's being dragged away. It's tongue in cheek and funny. That's not a bad idea.

The other stuff I'll take into consideration on a re-write.