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Forum Name New Player Q&A
Topic subjectRE: Look in the eyes - easy and informational
Topic URLhttps://forums.carrionfields.com/dcboard.php?az=show_topic&forum=5&topic_id=4478&mesg_id=4482
4482, RE: Look in the eyes - easy and informational
Posted by Isildur on Wed 31-Dec-69 07:00 PM
I do this too, but a pet peeve of mine are descriptions that have the character "doing" something without qualifying it.

Something like: "So and so winks at you and flashes a friendly smile."

So are they winking and smiling if you look at them right after putting them to sleep? Probably not.

You can fix this by qualifying the sentence like, "If they notice you glancing at them, they return your gaze with a wink and a friendly smile."

Even that's a little questionable because there are probably some folks who are going to look at your character that you're not "friendly" with. So your character would not, in fact, return their gaze with a wink and a friendly smile.

Something like this would work: "Should he notice your gaze, {Character} returns it with an enigmatic smile."

Maybe you're smiling because you're friendly. Maybe you're smiling because you're planning to murder the person who's looking at you. Nobody knows! It's enigmatic!