So, there's this forum out there where some guy who called himself ISAM posted mock summaries of each of the first 10 books (including New Spring, the prequel novel).

I find them absolutely hilarious.

But the forum that used to house them is gone. So I managed to find them via the Wayback Machine at Archive.org (man that's a useful site).

I'm going to post them below for your reading enjoyment. :)