Thu Jul 10 16:49:20 2003
At 1 o'clock PM, Day of Deception, 30th of the Month of the Great Evil
on the Theran calendar Eilathen perished, never to return.
Race:half-drow
Class:healer
Level:49
Alignment:Evil
Ethos:Neutral
Cabal:None, None
Age:65
Hours:75
PK Ratio:87% (closer to 100% is better)

Warning: Long. (possibly also boring)
Well, what can I say? Some things just aren't for me, and it's finally coming to be that CF is one of those things. This deletion was prompted by a number of things, not the least of which was my first PK death. When I die solely because I'm an idiot, I have difficulty picking up and moving on. Among other things, in no particular order: I finally realized I was playing a healer. A scarab healer is particularly difficult, since I can count the number of semi-reliable allies I had on one hand. I spent several sessions just sitting around, hoping someone I could rank or PK with would show, and dodging the requisite imperial/goodie/sylvan/everyone gangbangs. Also, while I love the scarab religion and philosophy, after the 57th person arguing with you, it gets old (because in CF, even more than life, no one's opinion changes). So the death was a nice way out for me. I died a total of three times, once to an immortal (I won't elaborate because the plot is still rolling), once when Garguza walked us into You Plummet to Your Death, and the last PK death. Sorry to have ranted so long.

Goodbyes:

Scarabaeus - Hey, it was great. I loved our interactions, brief though they usually were. I guessed that you watched me a lot, because the interviews were always pretty short. Hopefully this means I was doing a good job, but I always doubted. I'd love to hear what your thoughts on Eilathen were. Thanks for the tattoo, etc.

Talia - I won't get into details here, but our interactions started on a good note and ended up providing me with good roleplay angles, but damnit if the latter ones didn't piss me off. The exp in the shrine was a nice note that someone was watching, but it was almost like throwing salt in the wound. Thanks anyway, I guess :P

Garguza - Keep on truckin'. We had some amazing ranking, and some amazing PKing. You only died with me that once after you insisted on going back when I said I was too tired to fight. You always listened after that time :)

Ancruhljin - I was happy to have anyone in the Cult, but I have to echo Garguza in saying I thought you were way too cautious. And you always bowed to people, which bothered me. But what do I know, right?

Ilrahsek - I ranked with you a lot with a previous char, and then got to finish the job. Solid char, good job, enjoyed exploring/PKing/etc. The hero range is so seriously out of wack vs scions it's not even funny.

Hukalon - You scared the bejeezus out of me.

Beridarion and Kogefibo - Damn you.

Other imperials - most of you failed to really impress me.

People who I seemed negligent towards in ranking: No, I knew you were getting your ass kicked. I just didn't like you.

People I solo-killed: I hear checkers is very challenging in its own way.

My 87% ratio works out to 7-1, I think, of which 4 or 5 of them were solo.

I'm leaving for a week tomorrow, but I'll make attempts to respond to anyone who replies. Hopefully I won't be back to CF any time soon. :P

I REALLY hope you aren't in the least bit proud of that one. That being said, I guess it isn't like you had a choice but to kill me while I was helpless without breaking character. Anyway... I've never been good at checkers.

The plagued, mana-less healer I happened to gate across does not count. Though I did get you subsequent times with a group :P

But you did earn Eilathen's everlasting 'hatred' (as much as he had emotions) for being "Talia's bitch". No hard feelings either way, I hope.

None the less, several others died in less understandable circumstances.

Cheers.

Ancruhljin - I was happy to have anyone in the Cult, but I
>have to echo Garguza in saying I thought you were way too
>cautious. And you always bowed to people, which bothered me.
>But what do I know, right?

Caution is required when you play an a-p. It's how I got where I got.
Would you have respected me more if I died all over the place?

No, I didn't always bow, I had a nod emote and an emote where I just ignored people compeletely. But, yes I did bow to people I respected, shrug.

Like I said, our times were brief but enjoyable. We could have done some wonderful things at hero. I didn't want you to be my healer bitch and heal and sanc me all the time (I didn't want help that way), but I sure could have used your gating skill to find people because I was having the damndest time. Ah well, #### happens and I know exactly where you are coming from. Take care.

Ancruhljin

>Among other things, in no particular order: I finally
>realized I was playing a healer. A scarab healer is
>particularly difficult, since I can count the number of
>semi-reliable allies I had on one hand.

I'll admit I was curious how you were ever going to pull that off. I was reluctant to accept you into the Cult if for no other reason than I knew you'd have one hell of a time making it through life as a healer after you'd been marked. I really don't see healers fitting into the Scarab mentality any longer.

>Scarabaeus - Hey, it was great. I loved our interactions,
>brief though they usually were. I guessed that you watched me
>a lot, because the interviews were always pretty short.
>Hopefully this means I was doing a good job, but I always
>doubted. I'd love to hear what your thoughts on Eilathen
>were. Thanks for the tattoo, etc.

I've got to tell you, I don't like to make snap decisions on people if I can avoid it. I prefer to watch them interact with others, get a good feel for them, and it bugged me that you ranked as quickly as you did and at least during the times I was watching you I never got to see much interaction. Living out a (nearly-)hero character in 75 hours is pretty fast in CF terms - maybe I read that wrong, I'll have to go back and look. With the interactions I *did* see, you stuck to your guns and kept from the normal distractions that typically screw people up with the Cult, so I can say that worked for you. But again, the whole healer angle is really impractical and I'm glad you came to that realization on your own :)