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Chapter 4

Despair lightens, as desire strengthens, a new understanding of who I really am
Added Tue Sep 25 23:27:43 2018 at level 51:

At last! As my Father was able to Allude me quite well, or so it seemed,
I was finally able to meet him face to face. I almost melted when he sang a line
from my Ode to him. Though the metting itself was wonderous and perfect, I have
learned that my desire for power was truly brittle, as it has always been my yerning to be
desired, noticed, recognized and seen as something great. He loves me and desires me more
than any, and has told me he would smite down the fools who would not have similar
feelings. It matters not what other mortals want, even though I know what it is
they want which is me, what matters is now I know that my father desires me more than any.

Finally realizing this, I have come to understand my lustfulness much more,
that it is not just for what I lust, but also for those who lust for me, whether they
wish to be with me, be me, or the things that I have and become. All along I have
been serving the Father only by allowing those who desired for me to bring them
closer to their sins of lust, closer to the church and to Father as virtuous followers
indulging in delicious sin. I am now his priestest, his minstral of voice that lingers upon
the ears of all, for desire, for passion, and for a desire so strong that they
cannot resist, and for this I am glad I do it for Father.

For now, I will bring the masses to the church through wonderous words, and tender
touches, to fill the pews so they might bask upon his glory, otherwise this melodic tune of
passion, will turn into a dreary dirge of disaster, as bones will build the church's
foundations.