Role

Chapter 4

... even if you're sitting there all alone. (2 of 2)
Added Mon Sep 23 12:46:15 2019 at level 51:

(Continued from last role chapter)

To add to her loneliness, Cexonza fears that her reaction to Sel being tossed
from the Eternal Star has estranged her from Daphedee. Cexonza had been
furious and disrespectful, and she hadn't minced words when she confronted
Daphedee, Sayra, and Olin at the Inn. She and Daphedee haven't spoken since
that fateful day. Cexonza recently tried to speak with the Lady of Flaws and
had been wholly ignored (whether intentionally or because Daphedee was busy
with a party at the Inn she doesnt know), but Cexonza believes that she
deserves this alienation. In her heart of hearts, where the Imperial's
training had begun to make its imprint when she was but a kitten, Cexonza
believes that insolence such as she showed to Daphedee would deservedly be
responded to with harsh punishment. She awaits the impending punishment with
quiet resignation, rather than fearful apprehension.

Cexonza doesn't fear pain, punishment, or suffering any longer. She
understands that the pain she now feels over losing Sel is equal to the joy
she once had with him. She's also long since come to believe that there's
virtue in her suffering, and that her pain is worthwhile if it saves another
from feeling the same. For example, all the time that the Unspoken One had
terrorized and tortured her was time that he had not been tormenting somebody
else, and so she sees her capacity to endure agony as a means by which she
protected the rest of the world. Just as her rattlesnake form allows her to
shed great volumes of blood so that others might stay safe, Cexonza's
capacity to be hurt has always been her greatest tool in protecting others.