Role

Chapter 18

A Small Scroll Stored in a Box of Art Supplies
Added Fri Feb 26 09:38:00 2016 at level 51:

Mother passed, and it's awful to say, but I'm sure Father won't be too far behind
her. She seemed to know it was coming. She called us all home. She asked us all
for forgiveness, but she wouldn't say for what. Still, we knew, and we gave it. It
took her whole life for the understanding to come to this strange, diverse family of
ours. Yes, they love us. Yes, they are proud. It's even clear to see now as I
look back on things. I feel bad for Rhauen, as he's the eldest, everything will go
to him after Father passes, it means sorting through their affairs. There'll be a
funeral, mourning. Right now? Still shock. It was good to see everyone even at a
time like this. I embarrassed myself by flinching when Rashaze reached out to
comfort me. Some things never change.

And then there are the other things.

Daphedee asked Raltevio to guide her spirit to Gaspare after she passes. She's
given up her chance at Elysium and lost her magic for it. She thinks she might be
able to save Gaspare and his ghostly wife. But if he doesn't want saving? I can't
even begin to understand the implications. It just feels like waiting for the end.
And Daphedee's just so matter-of-fact about it. Even though I'm terrified for her,
I accept her choice. She's doing it for the right reasons, after all. But
constantly being reminded of her inevitable demise? It almost feels like I'm
missing her before she's even gone. She'd tell me to enjoy the time that's left.
That's damn good advice, actually. I think I might feel better if I heard it from
Gaspare, what it means to him that Daphedee plans to send her spirit to him after
she dies. I have to know he won't ignore her, that he will let her have her voice,
that he'll listen and treasure her friendship. She sacrificed so much for him, and
it needs to matter to him. I know this isn't about me, but I love Daphedee so much,
and I can't stand for this to be in vain.

I talked to a young thief named Ild for a while today. She told me about her
grandpa and some of the wisdom he used to dispense. I don't quite have the quote,
but it was something like: people would do nothing but change the past if they
could. In doing this, we would ignore the present, thus ensuring we have no future.
The past and future are in the gods' hands. We only effect the present. It was
something like that anyway. I've been fretting. It's hard not to. Laeden is so much
older than I am. If I...if I lose both of them at the same time, I don't think I
can keep it together. Laeden gave me my...inheritance? In case something happens,
he said. It took everything I had to not burst into tears in the middle of the
bank in Udgaard. I'm playing at this strength I just don't have. Is it fooling
them? It's not fooling me.