The event worked out like the title implied, it was a MASSACRE!

Set in the Jade Mountains, avalanches waited patiently for victims to ava-launch themselves in. Which, it so happens, they did.

Let’s move to Mr. Jade Elf, our reporter on sight for the play-by-play:

The event started off by laying out the rules and warnings. All of our contestants listening closely. Those involved were: Jeunne, Kritori, Zah, Orzmus, Ealle, Serris, Gilversplitz, Alingert, and Valtiare.

Emnon yells 'Let the Massacre...Begin!!'
The brief silence following Emnon’s shout was interrupted by Orzmus, who shouted as Jeunne and Kritori rushed him! Realizing he was outnumbered, he quickly fled…RIGHT INTO AN AVALANCHE!
Our interviewers made it on scene to the avalanche and received a quick comment from the participant, to quote Orzmus, “Son of a *****”.
Willing to follow him into danger, both Jeunne and Kritori jumped into the snowy abyss! With short work, their foe was felled.

Valtiare, on another mountain, quickly imbued Alingert with narcolepsy. Quite tired, Alingert then took a nap. While his opponent dozed, Valtiare vaulted into the air and started combat with a vicious stab! With a bit of dashing before-hand, Alingert eventually fell to the icy explosion of Valtiare’s iceball.

While that fight continued, our two avalanche-bound heroes Jeunne and Kritori were interrupted by Serris in the form of an otyugh, lugging two elementals alongside him! Serris bit, bit, and bit some more while Jeunne slashed around with his katana and Kritori clawed at him. But this rumble was interrupted when Gilversplitz jumped into the avalanche, ambushing Kritori as a beautiful golden jaguar!

You can imagine how chaotic a scene it was. Claws flashing, swords slicing, kicks flying all about! But who would win this bout of caged combat? On and on the battle went, endurance becoming a prime factor in who our early victors would be. Despite their martial training, ZKritori was the first to fall, stabbed by the sting of Serris’s otyugh, straight through his head, sending his brains splashing throughout the snowy wasteland.

Gilversplitz, seeing his chance to further even the playing field, now moved his feline attention to the still-healthy Jeunne. Jeunne, the giant, was now surrounded on all sides! An otyugh, a jaguar, and two elementals lashed out at him as he defended himself with faith and blade alike!

During this happening, one of our interviewers caught up with Zah, who had this to say: “Bah! Zah bloody lost”. Still, being lost in the mountains is better than being lost in an avalanche!

But back to our zoo. Jeunne manages to slice away, his vitality holding strong while Serris takes blow after blow. On and on the fight goes, until the still-alone Jeunne rallies his faith, bringing his katana across in a strike of faith, then again across in a strike of purity, which purified the life from Serris’s body! With the otyugh dead, his two elementals fade from this plane.

Our giant is not done yet, though. Faced with a golden jaguar, the fight continues! Despite his giant frame, his endurance is wavering, with no energy left with which to commune! And due to this, the golden jaguar’s claws find themselves in his throat, ending his life!

Of the beginning contestants, we now have: Gilversplitz, Zah, Ealle, and Valtiare remaining. If you’re wondering what has been happening with Ealle, we’ll let him tell the story: “I’m winning!” he yells from a crevice that he is stuck in. Winning, lost, stuck – they’re all the same thing if you’re not dead!

A sudden calm covers the snow, not due to the competitors deciding peace is a better option, but because it is hard to massacre each other when one person is lost, one person is in a crevice, one person is in an avalanche, and the other still wandering about!
After a period of time, Zah and Gilversplitz find each other, and the fight is back on! Scaling the mountains as a crocodile, Gilversplitz and his foe battle as Ealle scrambles to find them. Tactical retreats in this battlefield, though, result in tactical cease-fires, since nobody seems to keep up with anybody else.

As such, we now have a bloodthirsty Zah slaying jade hares, while Gilversplitz yells “Where the hell are you?”.
Ealle, after a few scuffles, bumps into Valtiare. He then bumps into an avalanche, which was an equally bad idea, and dies to its overwhelming force!
The fiend that he is, Emnon decides to have Valtiare painfully eliminated due to his inability to fight the remaining members. After the sound of a violent smash, his corpse is found tossed alongside one of the slopes.

Two members remain: Gilversplitz and Zah. Might vs Magic. Giant vs. Jaguar.

In this case, locked in an avalanche with each other, the GIANT WINS!

And so we have the final winner of Emnon’s Massacre.
The master of massacres.
The dealer of death.
The monster of mayhem.
Zah Bloodfist!

Thanks to everyone who took part in the massacre and made this valentine murder a success.

-Ish