Ugh, people. 63 LOOOOONG entries (cut down to 55 thanks to deletions).

I'm not giving you a breakdown, comments, etc., because I basically
read all of these in 24 hours and my eyes might fall out of my head.

So.

Winners:

Tanpolhin
Quird

Everyone else:

Lots of good stuff in here, enter the next contest in 5 days. :p