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Forum Name Events & Contests
Topic subjectFebruary Role Contest Winners
Topic URLhttps://forums.carrionfields.com/dcboard.php?az=show_topic&forum=25&topic_id=1020
1020, February Role Contest Winners
Posted by Cyradia on Wed 31-Dec-69 07:00 PM
There were 46 entries, which may be a new record for us. I was impressed with this batch and how role writing has grown in CF (which I plan to elaborate on...possibly tomorrow - check back here!) Winners, in no particular order:

Naloril
Vessit
Fiene

I had a hard time with the runner-up category. I chose to go with a healthy number of them, and they were still hard to narrow down:

Nuloh
Tallanalas
Trebilco
Taelina
Brinkmun
Frajalar
Ilden

I know you were all eager to hear the winners, so I'm posting this now without the comments. The winners and runner-ups will be receiving a note from me explaining their prizes, shortly. In the next day or two look for a thread with vague comments about the role. Look for (possibly) juicier comments in the PBF history entries. I also have a few general props for the playerbase, these entries as a whole, as well as some general suggestions. These will also be posted here as soon as I get all of those thoughts together. Please check back!
1030, Did notes go out yet?
Posted by Runner-Up on Wed 31-Dec-69 07:00 PM
I didn't recieve a note about it.
1031, Yup
Posted by Cyradia on Wed 31-Dec-69 07:00 PM
Notes went out the evening the winners were posted, if I remember correctly. The runner-ups received some edge love, basically, to spend as you see fit. If you'd like me to verify that you did indeed receive this bonus, note me in game or email me at Cyradia@carrionfields.com.
1023, Specific Role Comments
Posted by Cyradia on Wed 31-Dec-69 07:00 PM
Kaasi
This is a fine standard role to justify your cabal
choice. Consider adding more chapters to add some
additional depth as the character ages. (I see you
added one later on, after the role contest and after
I’d read this role.)

Zakar
80 characters per line, yo!
This is a good role. I like the format in that you
start out with a good background story, where
obviously you’ve thought out the character. Then you
also add chapters for important life events.

Sokde
Decent, bare minimum background. I like that you’ve
added “journal type” updates and they’re a fun read,
but they’re kind of all over the place and I’m not
sure what to take from them. Jumps back and forth a
lot from 1st person to 3rd. I’ve seen great roles
using either, but if you want to use both in the same
entry consider making it more obvious when and why
you’re transitioning.

Calahir - Deleted before contest over!

Jrhurg Mrhurg – Didn’t want any comments

Hrudgir Hirsget – Deleted!

Eled – Con Died?

Iia
Good Introduction, but left me wanting more - especially
given how old and active this character is. Would
have really liked to have seen sphere choice and a
particular thing referenced in the role spelled out
more!

Frajalar*
I think the reason I selected this for recognition was the prologue entry. It was just a well written, good length, story that I could really see as I was reading it.


Naloril*
Great description of the char! Can really imagine the
described character. Excellent story describing your
cabal choice.

Verakh
This role is, um, something! I’m not sure I have very
much that would be appropriate to comment here. I
would encourage you to kind of have a plan more for
your next role and develop your character out instead
of just rehashing common cabal theories/beliefs. I
know there were “non-essay” parts of your role, but
those left me quite perplexed.

Trebilco*
LONG! I appreciate your enthusiasm for story telling,
but there is some balance to be had between details
and finding a reasonable length that people can read
and absorb. I think the first story (how you got to
your guild) could have been told in a shorter fashion
without losing much.

Sekhuroth
Good Basic Role. Kind of wordy for not much meat, but
good imagery/ideas. It’s also possible I just don’t get it.

Taelina
I’m guessing English isn’t your first language, but I still thought the story idea was a neat one. I wish your character had stuck to it a little more in her life.

Ghraln
Good basic background role. Good set-up for your
religion and character detail painting.

Ahiviln
I think your using stream of consciousness could be a
good tool for giving the reader an insight into the
character’s head. However, I think this could be
strongly, strongly improved by doing more set-up explaining
what’s going on. Less quantity, more quality!

Zel
That’s a lot of role. Easy, enjoyable read. I think you might
need to also work on the balance between details and a
reasonable length for a reader to digest. I,
personally, would vote for less ‘day to day’ life
stuff and more substance. However, if you enjoy
writing them, go for it!

Aldran
Good googely moogley, man! Really freaking long...and a dense read.

Ofizal
Good Culty role. I really like the way “evil” is portrayed in the background story.

Veanik – Deleted?

Nuloh*
I selected this one out just because it was a solid role. It was a little different, it painted a good character foundation, etc.

Anildor
I like this role, but the entries I liked the most were already handled in last month’s role contest. I do like how you also used the role command to communicate and define “things” for your character.

Vassten
I don’t really get what you were getting at with this role. Maybe it makes a lot of sense in your religion?

Eulinda
Nothing wrong with this role, but it’s very, very minimal.

Rusylael
I like how this role incorporates character path/skill choices, in an in character way. I always am a sucker for that (why you picked your spec, why you picked your terrain, your repertoire, etc, etc.)

Hunsobo
While, I wasn’t especially moved by this role on a creativity/contest winner level, I have to give a lot of credit to the fact I can read it and get a really good idea as to who this character is. I might not have watched you a lot as you ranked, but reading this role I can catch myself up on your past. I’m not sure I’m explaining that well, but it’s one of my points in my ‘general tips’ post on this thread.

Algrahk
That was a little far out there for me, but hey…if you’re enjoying to role more power to you.

Toramok
I don’t feel I ever quite understood the story this role was trying to tell..

Chiji
Man, I hate to be down on something where someone is being creative – but that style is damn hard to read!

Torin
OK basic role.

Brinkmun*
I thought this was a good, different role for your cabal choice. Easy read and a good story. I, personally, would prefer to see these backgrounds laid at an earlier rank.

Burkuz
OK basic role.

Zherdov
Hi, I’m Cyradia the Demon Goddess. That is all.

Tallanalas*
This wasn’t a very well written role (maybe English isn’t your first language?) but the concept was kind pretty fresh.

Vessit*
I really liked this role. I would have loved to see extra ‘as the character grows’ entries, but I really enjoyed the background story that’s here.

Naarai
OK basic role.

Jhoruim
Good basic role

Fiene
I really liked this role. It’s just a very fun story that I completely enjoyed.

Kedylia
Good basic role

Dyneli
I thought this was a cool role, and I especially like the stream of updates. Makes it very useful.

Ilden*
I liked this role because it was well written, yet fairly simple, but still put a cool spin on an evil character/religion combo.

Waserax
See the comments on Hunsobo and apply them here.

Gaerhun
Good standard role.

Kaindhin
Good standard role. I thought this role had a lot of potential if you’d kinda followed through with the purpose of the things in the story and followed-up with how the character grew.

Maethron
Good basic role.

Victoria
Good basic role. Nice little twist.
1024, RE: Specific Role Comments
Posted by Calahir on Wed 31-Dec-69 07:00 PM
Any chance you had any comments on the role written before I up and deleted? Just curious, I fully understand if you don't.

Thanks either way.
1025, RE: Specific Role Comments
Posted by Cyradia on Wed 31-Dec-69 07:00 PM
Actually, I'm afraid I didn't get to read it before you deleted (or if I did I noticed you were deleted, didn't take notes, and now your pfile doesn't seem to exist anymore.) Sorry!
1026, Hope we see more of this in all those role contest!
Posted by Beer on Wed 31-Dec-69 07:00 PM
I'm sure they are helpful. Once I have a character and participate in a role contest, I'd love to know how you guys find it to adjust myself!
1027, This wasn't a very well written comment..=)
Posted by Tallanalas on Wed 31-Dec-69 07:00 PM
This wasn’t a very well written role (maybe English isn’t your first language?) but the concept was kind pretty fresh.

<---- Hehe

English is my first language but as I indicated in a note to Immortal I can't get various punctuation to take. So I tried to separate concepts and characters with alternate symbols and exaggerated spacing.

What’s more it was only cursorily spell checked.

Had I known grammar was key, I would have put more effort into it! Still, I'm glad I placed where I did.
1028, RE: This wasn't a very well written comment..=)
Posted by Jynx on Wed 31-Dec-69 07:00 PM
I've run into that problem a few times myself, but use alternate marks for the same puynctuation. For instance, the big one are quotation marks and apostrophes. Instead of " I would use one ' but instead of using ' when it didn't work, I'd use the one below the squiggly line next to 1! which looks like this: `
1029, RE: This wasn't a very well written comment..=)
Posted by Cyradia on Wed 31-Dec-69 07:00 PM
I assure you an occasional hiccup in special character translation to the mud and a few misspellings wasn't the case with the role commented on above. If your role gets some botched punctuation in it, don't sweat it too much. You wouldn't be "marked down" on a role contest.
1035, I'll tell you what.
Posted by Tallanalas on Wed 31-Dec-69 07:00 PM
I won't enter anymore of your contests.

I've reread my role and it seems to me that you are missing the fact that I wrote in an classical style to flavor it rather than what is commonly written today.

I appreciate constructive critizism but this just rubbed me wrong.
1037, I'm ok with this.
Posted by Cyradia on Wed 31-Dec-69 07:00 PM
I'm not trying to piss you off or rub you the wrong way. I'm also not going to let people be afraid that a few typos or special character hic-cups are going to be "marked down." I honestly assumed you were an ESL player when I read your role. Your grammar and spelling was quite painful to read. You got a prize anyway.
1056, I still don't get it.
Posted by Tallanalas on Wed 31-Dec-69 07:00 PM
Could you perhaps post a snippit of what makes it hard to read?

I put a lot of time into making it like a side story and I'm upset about this.

I haven't recieved any Imm exp for any role with any character in a long time and I'm forced to admit that I might be better of just laying out a frame work instead of trying to be a novelist.

Sorry for getting bitchy.
1040, Sheesh, lighten up.
Posted by Quixotic_LZ on Wed 31-Dec-69 07:00 PM
I appreciate these role contests, even though I know the judgment of the immortal staff is poor and they lack any familiarity whatever with literature or the written word. They certainly are not fit to determine what they like personally, for even my sketchiest roles are a thousand times better than the competition.

On a more serious note, let me ask rhetorically: why get petulant and throw out the "I tell you what. I won't enter anymore of your contests"? That just makes you look bad.
1041, You are an ungrateful douchebag. F### Off. (nt)
Posted by Lord-SMUG on Wed 31-Dec-69 07:00 PM
nt
1032, Since I deleted: For Cyradia
Posted by Zherdov on Wed 31-Dec-69 07:00 PM
I was just curious what you meant by the comment. It sort of left me feeling a bit "bleh". I thought I had a good role going. So it'll be interesting to read the others.

Zherdov
Hi, I’m Cyradia the Demon Goddess. That is all.
1033, RE: Since I deleted: For Cyradia
Posted by Cyradia on Wed 31-Dec-69 07:00 PM
You just used my title (the Demon Goddess) the entire time to describe Lloth, and you had my sphere. I asked around and we couldn't remember that Lloth even ever used that title. Given the role I wasn't at all sure why you couldn't have worshiped Cyradia with the character (unless you just don't like me the player, based on previous carnations - which certainly happens.) So, it was just a tongue in cheek comment about that. :P
1034, I actually think the Lloth demon goddess
Posted by Guy on Wed 31-Dec-69 07:00 PM
Is mentioned somewhere in a area, or atleast was, I could be mistaken,
but I could have sworn I've seen that name and title associated before as well on CF.
1042, Thanks for the helpful info. Could ya tell me what you thought about
Posted by Krilcov Krieger on Wed 31-Dec-69 07:00 PM
soelanzin?
1043, RE: Thanks for the helpful info. Could ya tell me what you thought about
Posted by Cyradia on Wed 31-Dec-69 07:00 PM
What's a Soelanzin?

Character doesn't exist now and it wasn't on my list of role entries, so I'm a bit at a loss.
1044, Purchasing the PBF this weekend. nt
Posted by Krilcov Krieger on Wed 31-Dec-69 07:00 PM
nt
1022, General Comments
Posted by Cyradia on Wed 31-Dec-69 07:00 PM
What All Role Contestants Should Know:

It’s very important to keep in mind that a role contest is very subjective. That’s one reason we think it’s a good idea to have a variety of immortals run them. I guarantee you that if you gave 5 different immortals the same role pool you’d get 5 different sets of winners. So, if you didn’t win or you didn’t get especially high “marks” from me, don’t sweat it. Similarly, if you did win, don’t let your ego get out of control, since many of the immortals were shocked at the winners I did (and didn’t) pick. What I do think is wonderful and worth noting is how many people have good, solid roles and that that has become the norm. Regardless of my opinions, I hope you’re all enjoying your roles. On the note of my opinions, don’t think anything too seriously. Many of the comments (especially on the PBFs) are to be taken as me teasing you (which I know can get lost in text.) There were a ton of roles, and a lot of them were VERY long, so if I didn’t understand your role on the first read-through I didn’t have time to go over and over again and try to make it make sense to me.

General Tips, Trends I Noticed, etc:

First of all, don’t take ‘good or OK basic role’ as a slam. I absolutely love seeing so many good and basic roles. Just because it wasn’t eye-catching enough to win here doesn’t mean having it isn’t very beneficial to your character. On that note, there were a lot of higher ranking characters that had done a great job of adding to their roles as they went along. While the summation of all of these entries wasn’t very earth-shattering, what it did do is create a wonderful guide to know your character. This is very beneficial to you, since it allows any immortal to understand who you are and where you’re coming from even without interacting with you previously.

I think a lot of roles I read (and then didn’t fully understand) were probably very creative and I’m sure they seemed ingenious to their owner. However, we’re not in your brain. So if you have a “non traditional” role idea, that’s great, but I would strongly recommend you write something to let the reader know where you’re going on your non-traditional role and how, exactly, it pertains to your character. Don’t assume we’re making the jump from this neat story blip to where your character fits in. Be safe and spell it out. Remember too, most of us have lots of followers and lots of roles to read, if we don’t understand it on the first pass don’t assume we have the time to read it over and over again and puzzle it out. Consider that your responsibility. Also on that note, there were a few roles that I think were very in character, and still absolutely awful to read. Remember to consider how your role is going to work out in practice (not just theory.) Keep in mind that your reader is a guy reading a computer screen with a limited amount of time. If your role is very difficult to read for whatever reason, it’s probably not going to get the attention it deserves.

Finally, I saw a lot of wonderful introduction roles, and then no additions. If your character doesn't change/grow it may not need any additional role entries. However, over hours of play, it seems that you might have some growth to document.